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Newest Member: Devestatedbeyond (44583)

Reconciliation Post Reply     Print Topic    
User Topic: False R
erzulie
♀ Member
Member # 3293
Default  Posted: 12:27 AM, September 6th (Friday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

may be the worst pain I've ever felt.

Feels worse that D-Day the first time.

Never felt pain like this.

How could someone, who watches someone they care about go through the writhing agony of an affair, then reconcile and MARRY that person ... promise to always be honest ... and then, choose to do it again?

How is that love? Feels like torture, not love.


A saying for my SI Family: "We may not have it all together, but together we have it all".

Fooled twice - almost exactly 10 years apart.


Posts: 3377 | Registered: Jan 2004 | From: California
Smokehouse
♂ Member
Member # 40203
Default  Posted: 1:12 AM, September 6th (Friday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Wow, your post really stirred feelings in me. There is no doubt it is the worst pain emotionally and physically.

I had two DDays almost a month apart. 07/21/13 and 08/15/13. Second phone discovered on the second DDay. From the first to the second, all lies. Even though my WW says she meant all the I'm sorries. No she didn't. I'm sure you feel the same as I do. Ten years of trusting, feeling secure, in love, to find out the person that made you feel that way presented it falsely.

I'm sure your WS would say otherwise, but, how can it be? I feel so bad for you. Know that there are so many here that care and support you.

I can honestly say I know that pain, as can many others. It scares me to think it could happen again and that deep emotional pain could return. It was and still is devastating. Nothing like it.

No matter what, it just takes time to feel better. Know that it will somewhat subside in the coming weeks. Make it about you feeling better, no matter what it takes! I just tried one day at a time, hour by hour and minute by minute.

Go to your doctor for help. It helped me with sleep and depression. I'm pretty new at this and still struggle, but will make it and so will you.

BH-49
WW-33
SD-10
DDay#1-07/21/13
DDay#2-08/15/13 second phone!
Trying to make it


Posts: 147 | Registered: Aug 2013 | From: Ohio
sri624
♀ Member
Member # 33956
Default  Posted: 1:22 AM, September 6th (Friday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

i am so sorry this happend. i know the pain of a false r all too well. how could they do this after seeing the initial pain this lying and cheating creates?

he was never remorseful after i found out the first time. he said all the right things, and just kept doing it...taking his cheating underground.

what helped me was ic...and antidepressants! the ic helped me becasue i got stronger, and stronger and really started to see my worth and value. my conditions for r were pretty strict, and i was ready to divorce him if he didnt comply.

he did...and pretty much changed his life. i believe that he is remorseful now.

but the damage to me has been done. i need to heal on my own. he does everything he is suppose to do...but the initial cheating...and then the blow of the false r...really messed me up.

but i do see light at the end of the tunnel.

what i do know...and this gives me strength....i know that if he ever decides to cheat on me again, that i will be strong enough to really move on and divorce him. i wasnt that strong before. and this time, he knows it. for sure.

that brings me a little peace.


BS (41):(Former Doormat)
WS (39):(Busted Cheater)
Married: 10 years, 3 kids under 5
DD1: 10/11 PA/EA with pilates instructor/former stripper.
DD2: 10/12 False r, cheating with other women, online dating,Substance abuse issues.
Attempting R in bi

Posts: 934 | Registered: Nov 2011 | From: Alabama
Topic Posts: 3

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