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User Topic: Things they say that make you want to punch a kitten
cuppacoffee
♀ Member
Member # 39313
Default  Posted: 11:19 AM, September 6th (Friday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Last night the husband was talking about how he wishes they did sleep together because was such a good friend. Yeah okay.

Then he says that he wishes he could take the best parts of her and me and mix them together. Wtf? He said she was a hard worker and adventurous. Yes because talking to you at work to avoid working clearly shows a good work ethic and having sex at work and getting drunk all the time is so awesome.

Yes I'm a little cranky today and he's getting the lack of attention he deserves.


I'm like a vacuum bag
That holds all that old dirt
Remember that time we said we'd be together forever?
Don't hate me, don't regret me, don't ever forget me
Wherever you go, whatever you do, don't say I never loved you

Posts: 361 | Registered: May 2013
sad34
♀ Member
Member # 40358
Default  Posted: 11:31 AM, September 6th (Friday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

His blameshifting. Ow asked me to come over so I had to. Ow started the sex or making out so that's why I did it!!! Argh


Bs: me 32 WH: 36
Dday: July 2012
LTA: 4years (ea, pa)
Dd-4. Ds-2
My life is shattered unsure about R

Posts: 140 | Registered: Aug 2013 | From: canada
JanaGreen
♀ Member
Member # 29341
Default  Posted: 11:40 AM, September 6th (Friday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

What the fuck? Why would he think it's ok to say that to you?


We're both in our 30s. One awesome 4-year-old daughter.

Posts: 6809 | Registered: Aug 2010 | From: Somewhere in the South
TxsT
♀ Member
Member # 39996
Default  Posted: 11:47 AM, September 6th (Friday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Jana....I am with you on this one!!! How in the world can one human being think they have the right to say something like that to another hurt individual????? Especially if the other individual is the one they hurt. OMG this guys ass would be out of my house sooooooo fast HIS head would spin.

Sorry but I had to be honest. This guy is not worth the effort.

T


Me: BS 50
Hubby: WH 53
Together: 32 years
Married: 25 years 09/10/2013
2 boys: 23&21
Dday: 09/11/2012
A length: 4+ years (yes years)
status: Ongoing Reconciliation :o)

Through thick and thin we will survive but he gets only one shot at it!


Posts: 605 | Registered: Jul 2013 | From: CDN
Nature_Girl
♀ Member
Member # 32554
Default  Posted: 11:51 AM, September 6th (Friday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

RYFKM?????? He said this to your face?????????

Oh, Honey, he needs some attention. Some serious attention. Well, his shit does. The shit you pack into Hefty Bags & hurl out the door. Then you scream at him, "Hope the door knob hits ya where the Good Lord split ya!"

What a bastard!


Me = BS (Stay-at-home-mom)
Him = EX-d out (abusive troglodyte NPD SA)
3 tween-aged kids
Together 20 years
D-Day: Memorial Weekend 2011
2013 - I DIVORCED HIM, I'M FREE!
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=RBOJpIwF47Y

Posts: 9827 | Registered: Jun 2011 | From: USA
Rebreather
♀ Member
Member # 30817
Default  Posted: 11:52 AM, September 6th (Friday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

And he is still breathing?


Me BS
Him WH
2 ddays in '07
Recovering.
"The cure for the pain, is the pain." -Rumi

Posts: 6549 | Registered: Jan 2011
cuppacoffee
♀ Member
Member # 39313
Default  Posted: 12:30 PM, September 6th (Friday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

He had taken a lot (6-7 adivan) and was drinking.

I just want him to understand that a good friend doesn't help you destroy your family. And you are a grown ass man and being jealous of the attention your wife gives your children is fucked up. He would get jealous that I would leave him to go to the grocery store.

And what did he do today. He's been laying on the couch and the bed playing clash of the clans. I asked him if he could clean out his van today because it smells awful. He had told me to leave him alone. So I told him 'you know for someone that thinks so highly of other people's work ethics you'd think you'd do some work too."

I think I may have pissed him off. darn.
Seriously I understand that I'm a SAHM and my job doesn't pay but that doesn't mean that I don't have a good work ethic.

I just can't believe how immature he is sometimes. We are both 33 and we've been together since we were 19 and married at 21. We have 6 kids. how the hell do you not grow up in that time frame?

ugh.


I'm like a vacuum bag
That holds all that old dirt
Remember that time we said we'd be together forever?
Don't hate me, don't regret me, don't ever forget me
Wherever you go, whatever you do, don't say I never loved you

Posts: 361 | Registered: May 2013
tushnurse
♀ Member
Member # 21101
Default  Posted: 12:36 PM, September 6th (Friday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Seriously Cuppa -
You need to throw his ass out. SAHM or not. You don't need this level of disrespect. You are sanctioned to be SAHM so he doesn't have to do shit, on his time off. Sorry buddy. No more. If you can't throw him out, I certainly would stop doing anything for him.

I am so angry for you. Punch a kitten, no throwing him off a building, yah.

It is a bit concerning that he is able to drink and take 6-7 ativan in a day, and still be able to communicate, this is overdose level use of this medicine.


Me: FBS
Him: FWS
Kids: 15 & 17
Married for 22 years now, was 16 at the time. .
D-Day Sept 26 2008
Fully R'd, and Happy Happy Happy

Posts: 8714 | Registered: Oct 2008 | From: St. Louis
myperfectlife
♀ Member
Member # 39801
Default  Posted: 3:14 PM, September 6th (Friday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

OMG!!!
That is ridiculous!
When confronted with a wedding date by OW (and plans to reverse his vasectomy and names of future kids) my WS said "SHE talked about that stuff. I didn't."
So I am to believe that he sat there like a stonewall while she planned all of this, with no response or positive reinforcement from him, and that as a woman, she was ok with that kind of reaction from a man she intended to marry?
What.the.hell.
Why am I even still talking to him?!?!


I cannot be responsible for another's personal growth.
DDay#1 of a "cheatillion" 4/1/13
Divorce final 11/04/13

Posts: 452 | Registered: Jul 2013
silverhopes
♀ Member
Member # 32753
Default  Posted: 3:47 PM, September 6th (Friday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Cuppacoffee,

The next time he talks about mixing you two together or wishing he'd slept with her, send him this meme:

eta: Way better than alcohol and Ativan, anyway. Or kitten punching.

[This message edited by silverhopes at 5:01 PM, September 6th (Friday)]


Find peace. Or sleep on it.
Sometimes my monkeys, sometimes my circus.
Infidelities are like icebergs - they may take many different shapes and sizes, but they all damage your ship.

Posts: 3905 | Registered: Jul 2011 | From: California
jjsr
♀ Member
Member # 34353
Default  Posted: 5:00 PM, September 6th (Friday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Well I don't want to punch a kitten or you punch a kitten but he seriously needs a kick in the balls.


Me: BS
Him: WS
Married since 1985
Parents to 2 adult sons and 3 of the cutest cats you have ever seen
D-day 8/6/11 Truth about ONS and 9/21/11 Truth about EA
Trying to reconcile

Posts: 1647 | Registered: Dec 2011 | From: midwest now.
Ostrich80
Member
Member # 34827
Default  Posted: 6:30 PM, September 6th (Friday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Wow, how did you keep your composure on that remark? My wa has,said a lot of stupid things but he knows better than to EVER insinuate she's got anything he wants, in front of me. I'm sure its in his head, where it better stay..
He did tell me on DD, when I was talking about what a backstabbing bitch she was, don't blame her, she asked if you would be mad and I told her it was ok with you
I thought that was pretty stupid. So if a ws tells ow, "my wife says its ok to f**k me", the ow IS NOT TO BLAME. Okayyyy

Hey cuppa...6 or 7 ativan plus alcohol?? Is he on a suicide mission...that's very dangerous. I knew someone that died doing that, accidentally

[This message edited by Ostrich80 at 6:37 PM, September 6th (Friday)]


BS..me
WS..him
Been with him over half my life
4kid
DD1 10-01-09 DD2 02-12-12 discovered it never ended
OW..nothing special. Just your average skank
Status..#$%@????

Posts: 5134 | Registered: Feb 2012 | From: midwest
cuppacoffee
♀ Member
Member # 39313
Default  Posted: 7:32 PM, September 6th (Friday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

yes he's suicidal. He's been for a very long time. He would rather ignore his problems than deal with them so turn into mountains then he feels like ending his life is the best way to handle it all.

He was still "friends" with skank back in March when he got real bad when he started going to the doctor. I kicked him out for a few days (pre dday). He called the skank to talk to her because she was such a great friend and she told him she didn't have time for his shit.

but somehow i'm the bad guy. i'm the only person that has ever truly loved him and this is the shit i get. I'm not perfect by any means but I'm not going to let him get away with shit. He calls that me being a bitch and being all over his shit. No that's me trying to get you to be a man not a boy.

i'm just really afraid of the day when he puts one of his plans in motion.


I'm like a vacuum bag
That holds all that old dirt
Remember that time we said we'd be together forever?
Don't hate me, don't regret me, don't ever forget me
Wherever you go, whatever you do, don't say I never loved you

Posts: 361 | Registered: May 2013
mixedintherut
♀ Member
Member # 40330
Default  Posted: 8:18 PM, September 6th (Friday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

"I don't know!"

I told him several times, every time he said it, it made me want to hit him. Of course I never did, but I could live the rest of my life without hearing, "I don't know!" again!

I think mainly because he's lying. He knows, and I know he knows, so just tell me the damn truth!


DD 1: PA 12/4/09 He spent 2.5 years with OW1
R: 8/31/2012
DD 2: EA 8/16/13
BS: 26
WH: 25
1 young daughter.
Terribly disgusted. He refuses to give up his "friend". Headed towards D.

Posts: 136 | Registered: Aug 2013 | From: kentucky
RidingHealingRd
♀ Member
Member # 33867
Default  Posted: 10:36 PM, September 6th (Friday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

he says that he wishes he could take the best parts of her and me and mix them together.

^^^What the hell is wrong with him????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????


ME: 54 BS
HIM: 61 WH
Married: 28 years
D'Day: 10/29/10
in R 4 years and it's working but he is putting 200% into it (as he should) to make it right again.

The truth hurts, but I have never seen it cause the pain that lies do.


Posts: 2123 | Registered: Nov 2011
silverhopes
♀ Member
Member # 32753
Default  Posted: 10:44 PM, September 6th (Friday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

yes he's suicidal. He's been for a very long time. He would rather ignore his problems than deal with them so turn into mountains then he feels like ending his life is the best way to handle it all.

That's serious. Is he in IC? The Ativan and alcohol can't be helping him when he uses them this way. It sounds like he needs professional support to learn some better coping techniques. Does he refuse to seek out help for his health?

Do you and the kids feel safe?


Find peace. Or sleep on it.
Sometimes my monkeys, sometimes my circus.
Infidelities are like icebergs - they may take many different shapes and sizes, but they all damage your ship.

Posts: 3905 | Registered: Jul 2011 | From: California
cuppacoffee
♀ Member
Member # 39313
Default  Posted: 10:50 PM, September 6th (Friday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

He is in ic and has been since march. He just lost his job two weeks ago so he can't see the ic for a few weeks.


I'm like a vacuum bag
That holds all that old dirt
Remember that time we said we'd be together forever?
Don't hate me, don't regret me, don't ever forget me
Wherever you go, whatever you do, don't say I never loved you

Posts: 361 | Registered: May 2013
Topic Posts: 17

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