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User Topic: Thoughts after a year as a mod/Ask the staff
authenticnow
♀ Moderator
Member # 16024
Default  Posted: 5:58 PM, September 6th (Friday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I wonder if y'all talk about the old members who don't go away?

Yes. We talk about how grateful we are that the old timers stick around to help.

Well....mostly .


Take up your space (and do it well).

"That's the thing about pain, it demands to be felt."


Posts: 37353 | Registered: Sep 2007
jo2love
♀ Moderator
Member # 31528
Default  Posted: 7:00 PM, September 6th (Friday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

We universally hate the Phrase “No Stop Sign So…..”

Whenever I read this, I picture us in Hello Kitty Camoflauge jumping out of a plane while on a secret mission.


Posts: 34728 | Registered: Mar 2011
LosferWords
♂ Guide
Member # 30369
Default  Posted: 7:05 PM, September 6th (Friday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Whenever I read this, I picture us in Hello Kitty Camoflauge jumping out of a plane while on a secret mission.

Even me?? Now THAT'S a visual.


Posts: 6755 | Registered: Dec 2010
jo2love
♀ Moderator
Member # 31528
Default  Posted: 7:14 PM, September 6th (Friday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Yes. Even you, Losfer. DS shouts, "Go! Go! Go!" and we all jump out of the plane.

Posts: 34728 | Registered: Mar 2011
scaredyKat
♀ Member
Member # 25560
Default  Posted: 7:15 PM, September 6th (Friday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I have nothing clever to say, simply, thanks...and I'll donate just as soon as I am posting in the vicinity of my credit card. Soon. Promise.
SK.


Me-BS-60
HIM-SAFWH-63
Damn autocorrect is responsible for the silly errors, sorry!

Posts: 3459 | Registered: Sep 2009 | From: In my head
LosferWords
♂ Guide
Member # 30369
Default  Posted: 7:40 PM, September 6th (Friday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

That's awesome, SK. Thank you so much.

Glad to be a part of the team, jo2love!!

Right after my reply, I went out and walked the dogs and saw a sticker on the back of a Jeep of Hello Kitty with a machine gun. Maybe the new SI Staff logo? Hmmm...


Posts: 6755 | Registered: Dec 2010
click4it
♀ Member
Member # 209
Default  Posted: 7:42 PM, September 6th (Friday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Another beginning I personally hate is "I haven't read all the responses but blah blah blah."

Sorry, I do that because sometimes I just don't have time at the moment to read all the relies, but want to reply to the poster.


Me: 41
Two boys: 17 and 13
Divorced 12-13-05
d-day 10-02-01

Laughter will cure life's ills. Have you had your laugh today?


Posts: 25509 | Registered: Jun 2002 | From: California
lieshurt
♀ Member
Member # 14003
Default  Posted: 10:40 PM, September 6th (Friday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Whenever I read this, I picture us in Hello Kitty Camoflauge jumping out of a plane while on a secret mission.

lol...whenever I see a moderator flag something, I always envision a referee running out on a field, blowing their whistle, throwing a yellow flag and then stating the infraction....ex: whistle blow and then "no generalizations allowed" or "WS's not allowed to post in JFO" and then running back to the side of the field

Of course, I've met DS, MH, AN and Wifehad5, so I can envision THEM actually doing the running onto the field


I'm sorry if you don't like my Honesty, but to be fair I don't like your lies.

Sometimes it's better to push someone away...not because you stopped loving them but because you can't take the pain anymore.


Posts: 13724 | Registered: Mar 2007 | From: Houston
Hannelore
♀ Member
Member # 34546
Default  Posted: 11:24 PM, September 6th (Friday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

You read every post? OMG
I can hardly read my own sometimes.

I am very interested in a GTG. I used to moderate chat rooms for MSN back in the day, lots of fun when we were able to meet up IRL.

No support system here, really, except this forum and my wonder shrink. I love her. I am still afraid to leave the house , small town and "I ain't from around here..." Sorry for the tangents.


Me BW - 40s
WH - 40s SA


Posts: 130 | Registered: Jan 2012 | From: USA
LonelySilhouette
♀ Member
Member # 39502
Default  Posted: 11:26 PM, September 6th (Friday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I have a question since you asked if we have any.

It's about the investigative tips area. When people first join this group, it's an area that we need desperately yet we can't get in there until 50 posts and jumping through a hoop that I don't even understand yet. It feels like a bit of a punishment when we're already feeling pretty defeated, you know? Could someone explain the purpose of not letting us in there immediately when we need it so badly?


Me - 49 (BS)
Him - 51 (WH with "8 or 9" prostitutes)
Married 30 years, give or take a few weeks here and there
D-Day - May 4, 2013
Discovered an EA going on since 2010 around that time, too. NC in place now.


Posts: 88 | Registered: Jun 2013
aesir
♂ Member
Member # 17210
Default  Posted: 11:52 PM, September 6th (Friday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Not a mod, but been here forever, so with regards to the IT forum. A big part of why that forum is protected in this way is so that it can in fact be useful at all. Every other forum is open to the public (except the mod forum and the adjacent coliseum under construction where guideline violators will be forced to fight to the death), that means that you don't even need to log in to read them.
The rules protect the IT forum from active WS's being able to read the information about specifics contained in the IT forum that if they were known to the active WS would become useless. In many respects it could be used as a manual for how to keep an affair secret.

Since you can't get into the IT forum yet, I will repeat what has often been stated in the past, there are no magic secrets in IT. We have had members with law enforcement training in investigation who have summed it up nicely by stating that affairs take time, money, and communication. If you follow up on these, you will usually find what you need.


Your mileage may vary... in accordance with the prophecy.

Do not back up. Severe tire damage.


Posts: 14924 | Registered: Nov 2007 | From: Winnipeg
Jrazz
♀ Guide
Member # 31349
Default  Posted: 12:29 AM, September 7th (Saturday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Ooh this is just like Festivus, with the airing of grievances!!

Can we please implement a "No offense but..." Ban as well?

I also get cheesed when I'm being ignored.... Can we do something about that?


Wait, I'm supposed to be answering questions, not asking them! I love your post, Wh5. It's how I feel. We are a great team and we are happy to help all of you anytime you have a question or need support.

[This message edited by Jrazz at 12:31 AM, September 7th (Saturday)]


It is better to be slapped with the truth than kissed with a lie. -Russian Proverb

Posts: 17066 | Registered: Feb 2011 | From: California
fallingquickly
♀ Member
Member # 36599
Default  Posted: 12:34 AM, September 7th (Saturday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I very much appreciate the time and energy you all put into this wonderful site. Whether marriages end up solid or beyond repair, there is support for everyone every step of the way. I truly do not believe I would be anywhere near the healing stage that I am so far without this site and all the people who share it, especially the moderators, guides, and admins. Thank you so much for being there for all of us during the most trying time of our lives.


Me-BW 50
Him-STBXWH

2 Ddays and lots of TT
divorcing

Scars remind us where we've been. They don't have to dictate where we're going. (Criminal Minds)

I saw him, I could not unsee him. -StrongButBroken


Posts: 453 | Registered: Aug 2012
wifehad5
♂ Moderator
Member # 15162
Default  Posted: 5:29 AM, September 7th (Saturday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I have a question since you asked if we have any.
It's about the investigative tips area. When people first join this group, it's an area that we need desperately yet we can't get in there until 50 posts and jumping through a hoop that I don't even understand yet. It feels like a bit of a punishment when we're already feeling pretty defeated, you know? Could someone explain the purpose of not letting us in there immediately when we need it so badly?

The reason it's protected is that we want to make sure that only legitimate posters have access. If it was open to everyone immediately, anyone could see it, and potentially use what they find there to hide what they're doing.

When I first joined 50 post seemed daunting. Having to get to those 50 posts is probably the reason I'm still here. The more I posted, the more I learned, and the more I felt a part of the community. If not for that, I probably would have just read I-Tips, and then moved on, and our marriage wouldn't have healed.

Jump in and post. It doesn't take long


FBH - 42
FWW - 43 (BrokenRoad)
2 kids 7&12

The people you do your life with shape the life you live


Posts: 36961 | Registered: Jun 2007 | From: Michigan
painpaingoaway
♀ Member
Member # 27196
Default  Posted: 9:21 AM, September 7th (Saturday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Thank you wifehad5, and all the rest of you for what you do.

I have several questions:

1) how on earth do you guys have the time to read every post, and still live your regular lives?

2) on average, approx. how many posters are on everyday?

3) can you see how many lurkers are on?

4) do you read our PM's?

5) have you ever had a situation that was so dire, that the police had to be brought into the situation?

6) have you ever had someone show up at a G2G that was completely different from what they represented themselves to be online?

7) do your friends and neighbors know that you are a mod on an infidelity website?

8) how many people have been banned over the years?

9) do you all have assigned forums, or do you switch them up everyday? (I couldn't imagine having to read posts in JFO constantly without crying constantly).

10) do you think I'm nosy?

[This message edited by painpaingoaway at 9:22 AM, September 7th (Saturday)]


me BS female 56/him WS 59
Married 33 years
D-day July 09/he gave me his slut's STD
Watch my movie: "My wayward husband's adventures in STD land":
Episode 1: youtu.be/9Jv0-d_CdYc
Episode 2: http://m.youtube.com/watch?v=8Tz822H82Gk

Posts: 7056 | Registered: Jan 2010 | From: Coastal South
AFrayedKnot
♂ Member
Member # 36622
Default  Posted: 9:45 AM, September 7th (Saturday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Great questions PPGA

I am just a noob so I am interested in some of these myself. Especially #1


BS 39
fWS 36 (SurprisinglyOkay)
DD DS
A whole bunch of shit that got a lot worse before it got better.
"Knowing is half the battle"

Posts: 2560 | Registered: Aug 2012
painpaingoaway
♀ Member
Member # 27196
Default  Posted: 9:49 AM, September 7th (Saturday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage


me BS female 56/him WS 59
Married 33 years
D-day July 09/he gave me his slut's STD
Watch my movie: "My wayward husband's adventures in STD land":
Episode 1: youtu.be/9Jv0-d_CdYc
Episode 2: http://m.youtube.com/watch?v=8Tz822H82Gk

Posts: 7056 | Registered: Jan 2010 | From: Coastal South
MovingUpward
♂ Guide
Member # 14866
Default  Posted: 10:06 AM, September 7th (Saturday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

1) how on earth do you guys have the time to read every post, and still live your regular lives?

I am not sure that I have a regular life. I am online several hours a day. While I don't read every post I do read quite a bit.

6) have you ever had someone show up at a G2G that was completely different from what they represented themselves to be online?

I have run across a couple. The difference would be that they were very outgoing on the boards and spoke often and in IRL they were very quiet and would barely communicate.

7) do your friends and neighbors know that you are a mod on an infidelity website?

I'm only a guide but family knows and a few others.

8) how many people have been banned over the years?

457 1/2

OK I really don't know

9) do you all have assigned forums, or do you switch them up everyday? (I couldn't imagine having to read posts in JFO constantly without crying constantly).

I called dibs on F&Gs but there is no assignment of forums. I read in every forum.

10) do you think I'm nosy?

We'll go with inquisitive

The other questions have answers but I think that those might be best answered by DS


AKA Moo

Think of the haters in your life as sandpaper; they’ll scratch you up time and time again but in the end you’re polished, smooth, and spotless..while they end up useless

We make a living by what we get, but we make a life by what we give.


Posts: 51940 | Registered: Jun 2007 | From: Big Blue Nation
jo2love
♀ Moderator
Member # 31528
Default  Posted: 11:10 AM, September 7th (Saturday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

1) It's balancing act, but one that is well worth it.

2) I'm not sure. I know how many are on right now. It varies by weekday/weekend, holidays, summer/school year, etc... DS & MH could probably tell you.

3) Good question for MH and DS.

4) No. Those are private. We only read the pm's you send to us and the Staff pm.

5)That question is more for MH and DS.

6) I've only been to one g2g. Everyone was just like they are online.

7) My family and friends know I volunteer on a site that helps those dealing with infidelity. They do not know which one. DD thinks I help people who are going through a rough time in life. She thinks it's a Home and Garden site.


8) I don't know how many people have been banned. It's not an easy decision to make. We truly look out for each member's well being and take everything into consideration.

9) I read all of the forums.

10) Nope. You aren't nosy.


Posts: 34728 | Registered: Mar 2011
nowiknow23
♀ Guide
Member # 33226
Default  Posted: 11:24 AM, September 7th (Saturday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I'll throw my 2 cents in on a couple of those...

1. My regular life includes a job that has very flexible hours and a lot of leeway on what online activities are allowed, so I'm able to have SI open in the background most of the day, popping back and forth when I get a break from the work I'm paid to do. That being said, I personally don't read every post, although some days it seems like I do.

7. My family, friends, and even coworkers know I volunteer on a site. The kids recognize the screen (the CNN/SI skin), but only a select few know the actual site, and I don't think anyone knows my screen name.

9. We don't have assigned forums, so to speak, but we all have our own patterns for reading and posting. Typically, I start each day in D/S, then General, then JFO, and then hit the rest of the forums. I bounce around through all the forums over the course of the day. And then at night, I tend to redo that same pattern.

10. Define "nosy."


You can call me NIK

"Sometimes it takes a good fall to know where you really stand."
-Hayley Williams


Posts: 25052 | Registered: Aug 2011
Topic Posts: 74
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