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User Topic: whats going on in his head..started doing drugs
nestlee
♀ Member
Member # 39871
Default  Posted: 8:55 PM, September 6th (Friday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I'm really dumfounded with my H. The last past year, all of a sudden my H started smoking weed. I was a little surprised. Because he always was such a fitness nut. And wouldn't even take Tylenol because he said it was unhealthy. Today our mutual friend told me that My H has been bothering her H to hook him up with some shrooms, LSD, E.

I am shocked because my H has always been against Drugs. What is going on in his head.

He phoned me a hour ago and I didn't mention To him about what I heard. Then he said to me. I can't believe I only have one son to carry my blood line. I got angry and told him if he wants to go flip around and have more boys go...Cause I'm never coming home. Then he got upset that I got mad and said he was only making conversation. All of a sudden he always wants to have a conversation with me. I'm usually quiet..because the last three years when I tried to talk to him he would shhh me. He's really acting like another person. I don't know wtf is going on in his head. Opinions please.

Sorry for typos and shitty grammar. My brain is on E.


A woman needs a man..Like a fish needs a Bycicle.

Posts: 71 | Registered: Jul 2013 | From: Canada
Williesmom
♀ Member
Member # 22870
Default  Posted: 8:17 AM, September 7th (Saturday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

How old is he? Is this a mid life crisis?

My wxh started some strange activities when he hit 40. He also started hating me because I didn't want to have children at that time.


You can stuff your sorries in a sack, mister. -George Costanza
There is a special place in hell for women who don't help other women. - Madeleine Albright

Posts: 7435 | Registered: Feb 2009 | From: Western PA
I think I can
♀ Member
Member # 17756
Default  Posted: 8:45 AM, September 7th (Saturday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

He still has a hole in his soul. Now he is trying to fill it with more sons or drugs or anything anything but doing the work to fill it himself.


I'm not the winner, I'm the prize.

Posts: 8793 | Registered: Jan 2008
sad12008
♀ Member
Member # 18179
Default  Posted: 8:56 AM, September 7th (Saturday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

(((nestlee)))

I don't have any particular insight to impart but want you to both know you are heard and that you are not alone.

Of course, there's so much of WS behavior that is aberrant, this is perhaps just another manifestation of the craziness.

I can relate to the WTF feeling of suddenly finding yourself with someone seeking out weed or worse. I'm actually pro-legalizing pot (I want it taxed royally, then like lottery tickets it can help pay to educate people). However, right NOW it is illegal and that's a problem.

My fwH has bipolar II, so that steers some of his decision-making at times...but after marrying a military officer who'd mentioned his past badness in adolescence in the context of "man, how far I've come", I never expected he'd be smoking a little weed, if it was available, about every day. It's like, "who TF are you, and where were you hiding for the 20 years prior?"



"Everybody's life is hard. You look at life, and it's not a cakewalk. You've got to be able to bounce back." --Neil Young, father to two children with CP, another with epilepsy, and otherwise experientially qualified to comment

Posts: 3859 | Registered: Feb 2008 | From: a new start together
AFrayedKnot
♂ Member
Member # 36622
Default  Posted: 10:00 AM, September 7th (Saturday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

He still has a hole in his soul. Now he is trying to fill it with more sons or drugs or anything anything but doing the work to fill it himself.

^^^bingo

My fWS was the reverse. All of her A's happened a couple months after a drug relapse. She used and felt guilty. Then needed to get a "fix" in a different way. She has found many ways over the years, excessive shopping and/or stealing as well. All of those self destructive behaviors all come from that same hole in her soul.


BS 39
fWS 36 (SurprisinglyOkay)
DD DS
A whole bunch of shit that got a lot worse before it got better.
"Knowing is half the battle"

Posts: 2527 | Registered: Aug 2012
Mousse242
♀ Member
Member # 6330
Default  Posted: 10:30 AM, September 7th (Saturday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

You cannot save him. I think you really need to take a hard look at the person he is now, ignore who he was, and go forward with that assessment.

Fact, he is now doing drugs and actively looking for more potent drugs.

Fact, he's cheated on you.

Fact, he - at the very least - has impaired judgement, at the very worst he is going to end up OD-ing or involved in a drug bust.

Fact - you need to protect your kid and your finances.

You need to file for at least a legal separation. If he is doing drugs in your home or in his car, he can risk losing them should he get caught. They can likely impound and confiscate either or both. Then there are fines, court costs, etc. that you may also be held liable for without a legal separation.

You need to require a drug test for unsupervised visitation or talk to an attorney about this. You have to protect your son and your finances.

[This message edited by Mousse242 at 11:19 AM, September 7th (Saturday)]


Posts: 5473 | Registered: Jan 2005 | From: Chicago
nomistakeaboutit
♂ Member
Member # 36857
Default  Posted: 11:09 AM, September 7th (Saturday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

^^^Mouse just put a few things in perspective quite nicely.

I have one thought as to his "why" he is doing drugs. Could he have a current friend who has influenced him?


Me: BH 56.........Her: WW 43
DD: 6..........DS: 4
Married for six years.
DDay: 12-25-11 Divorced: 7-15-12
...................................
"It's like a nightmare within a nightmare, which in and of itself is a nightmare!"

Posts: 922 | Registered: Sep 2012 | From: U.S.A.
nestlee
♀ Member
Member # 39871
Default  Posted: 1:28 PM, September 7th (Saturday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Ty, for all your responses. I'm 3 hours away from him. The past month he was only here once for my dd,s birthday. We are only common law..so need for a legal separation. I don't think I'm ever going back.

He's called me 3 times this morning but I never picked up. He then sent me a Email..saying how much he loves me and knows all the time we,ve been together he took me for granted. He then apolized for the 50th time.. Them told me to forget the past let's work on the future.

The whole 12 years we've been together..I have only met 2 of his friends..that now moved away. My H said he doesn't need friends. But I think someone he knows at work or one of his ex boom booms have influenced Him. He has changed dramatically.. He no longer works out. Never use to want to talk..now never wants to shut up. Constantly calls..cause he wants to have a convo. But yet never wants to fess up about his cheating ways. All of a sudden wants to be a super family man..and constantly asks if we can do family things together. 12 years we've been together and all of a sudden he's planning Halloween together. I don't know what's going through his head.


A woman needs a man..Like a fish needs a Bycicle.

Posts: 71 | Registered: Jul 2013 | From: Canada
kansas1968
♀ Member
Member # 32214
Default  Posted: 2:23 PM, September 7th (Saturday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Hard to tell what is going through his head. Could be a lot of things. Remorse, sympathy play, realized that he loves you, on and on.

If you are thinking about going back, you might want to make counselling a manditory condition.


Me - BS
Him - FWS
DD - December 14, 2010
Married 43 years 1/14/2011
Affair lasted 7+ years
Affair had been over for 2 years before I found out. OW sent me a letter.

Posts: 1276 | Registered: May 2011 | From: Kansas
Topic Posts: 9

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