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User Topic: wwyd - friend is an OW!
♀ Member
Member # 26465
Default  Posted: 5:20 PM, October 7th (Monday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

You did the right thing.
My BFF cheated on her X I knew it by the way she was avoiding me I called her on it and she confessed. I waited a day to see if she would tell her then husband. When she did not I told her she had 24Hrs are I was telling him.
She told him and she apologized to me. I love her and hated to watch her spiral so far down.
Sounds like you and your FWS are working as a team:-)

There are degrees to which you let people back into your life and degrees to which you let them back into your heart-which, of course, are not the same thing

Posts: 3188 | Registered: Dec 2009 | From: Indiana
♂ Member
Member # 8354
Default  Posted: 7:06 PM, October 7th (Monday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I think the word “friend” tends to be used too loosely nowadays. I for one have friends and then I have acquaintances.

If you realized your friend was doing something dangerous - say shooting heroin into her veins – wouldn’t you try to get her to quit? Would you really be a “friend” if you simply looked the other way and decided that it was her problem and no concern of yours?

I have been approached by friends and told when my behavior was inappropriate or not in accordance with their expectations. I have always taken heed to what they say – after all IMHO this shows a clear concern for my well-being.
I too have visited friends and acquaintances to warn them of their drinking, drugging, dubious financial transactions, tax evasion... I have even talked to one when I saw where he was headed with his flirting in the office. Yes – I have lost a few acquaintances. But I have also earned a lot of friends. Sometimes months later when they have come to me to thank for the intervention.

So maybe you were the only TRUE friend this woman had and you showed that by NOT supporting her in doing wrong. Maybe you contacting the OW is what is needed for your “friend” to get her life back in line. Maybe – if she is a decent person – she will come back to you one day and thank you. Or maybe not. At least you have done what is right.

"If, therefore, any be unhappy, let him remember that he is unhappy by reason of himself alone." Epictetus

Posts: 5565 | Registered: Sep 2005
♀ Member
Member # 40115
Default  Posted: 9:03 PM, October 7th (Monday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I don't want a friend like that, and if she is willing to break up someone else's marriage, maybe she might try mine next. No thanks.

Too true. My XBFF did just that. Sure wish I had cut her off when she decided to have an 'open marriage.'

Edited to correct stupid typos.

Two steps forward and one step backwards, is still progress.

Posts: 1861 | Registered: Jul 2013 | From: Illinois, USA
Topic Posts: 43
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