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User Topic: Sitting here triggering but not because of the A
Mack9512
♀ Member
Member # 38619
Sad  Posted: 7:42 AM, September 7th (Saturday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

On Sept. 11, 2001, I worked in Tower 1 at the World Trade Center in NYC. Today I'm sitting in my kitchen with the puppy on my lap, moving in and out of crying jags.
It all started with one news story about the 9/11 Memorial Museum. Just about every piece of the buildings they showed I recognized; and with every piece more tears fell. Unfortunately, DD was sitting next to me when the story came on. She knows about the day and that I was there so she started asking questions. One question that I could not answer was "Why would anyone do that?"
I honestly expected last year's anniversary to be more triggery, but I guess I was too in shock to give the date more than a glimmer of recognition.

Ugh. Just...ugh.


"If you're brave enough to say goodbye, life will reward you with a new hello." - Paulo Coehlo

Posts: 408 | Registered: Mar 2013 | From: East Coast
dazdandconfuzed
Member
Member # 11692
Default  Posted: 8:09 AM, September 7th (Saturday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

(((Mack))) I'm so sorry for your pain.


Me - BW
Him - WH

Posts: 6621 | Registered: Aug 2006 | From: Massachusetts
sad12008
♀ Member
Member # 18179
Default  Posted: 9:04 AM, September 7th (Saturday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

(((Mack9512)))

I think when you've somewhat steeled yourself for a potential trigger, your guard is raised and you're better equipped to handle the emotions that may erupt. It's those ones where you're just going about your business and WHAM! ...it's in your face -- those are the ones that get through your armor most effectively.

I'm sorry you're dealing with those revived feelings, and hope puppy therapy really helps you move through it readily. The magnitude of that day is just mind-boggling; all through grade school I never quite "got" Pearl Harbor on a visceral level because I had no frame of reference. I kind of do, now.

Hope your puppy's young enough to still have puppy breath; it's known to have restorative powers.


You can't fill a cup with no bottom.

Posts: 3893 | Registered: Feb 2008 | From: a new start together
metamorphisis
♀ Administrator
Member # 12041
Default  Posted: 9:24 AM, September 7th (Saturday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Mack, I was talking about 9/11 yesterday too with my dd. There was something about the weather and the sky that was exactly the same. All morning I was living in the past. It was the same time I started dating my husband, and my dd had just started kindergarten and the day was beautiful and I just had the eeriest feeling all morning.

And I wasn't THERE. Please be kind to yourself, between the weather, the smells of Fall, the time of year, the show you watched, well I am sure you are unearthing some very very powerful associations. You are dealing with them now because in some way it's safe to do so, and your mind is ready. Be gentle, honor those feelings and make sure to talk to us, your friends and family and a counselor if you need. Sending you love.

[This message edited by SI Staff at 9:25 AM, September 7th (Saturday)]



“We don't see things as they are; we see them as we are.”... Anais Nin

Posts: 44985 | Registered: Sep 2006
jo2love
♀ Moderator
Member # 31528
Default  Posted: 11:30 AM, September 7th (Saturday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

(((Mack)))

I'm sorry.


Posts: 35929 | Registered: Mar 2011
authenticnow
♀ Moderator
Member # 16024
Default  Posted: 7:35 PM, September 7th (Saturday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

(((Mack)))


Take up your space (and do it well).

"That's the thing about pain, it demands to be felt."


Posts: 38085 | Registered: Sep 2007
jrc1963
♀ Member
Member # 26531
Default  Posted: 8:06 PM, September 7th (Saturday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

(((Mack)))


Me: BSO - 46
Him: FWSO - 69
DS - 13
D-Day - 12-11-09,
R - he finally came home
Your life is an Occasion. Rise to it. - Mr. Magorium, "Mr. Magorium's Wonder Emporium"

Posts: 24597 | Registered: Dec 2009 | From: Florida
Pentup
♀ Member
Member # 20563
Default  Posted: 9:45 PM, September 7th (Saturday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

((Mack))
I was in the air that day. I have a flight this coming Wednesday and it is making me , I can not begin to imagine what it is like for you. Be kind to yourself. Maybe do a kindness for someone else as a tribute to those that were lost that day?
I had not thought of doing that myself until I typed it for you. think I will plan a random kindness in the airport this week.


Me- BS
Him- FWS (I hope- F)

Posts: 6605 | Registered: Aug 2008 | From: Not Oz
Dreamboat
♀ Member
Member # 10506
Default  Posted: 10:25 PM, September 7th (Saturday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

((((huge hugs))))

I cannot imagine your pain. I did not know a single person directly affected by the terror that day, but I still get upset when I see programs about that day or the victims or the survivors or the memorial or really anything.

My DD was 4 in 2001 and does not remember that day or what life was like "before". I few months ago I tried to explain to her how everything changed that day for every American not just those directly affected. I could not even being to explain how it affected those in NYC or DC, let alone those directly affected.

I wish you peace in the coming days.


And it's hard to dance with a devil on your back
So shake him off
-- Shake It Out, Florence And The Machine

Posts: 17689 | Registered: Apr 2006 | From: A better place :)
Rollercoaster
Member
Member # 1298
Default  Posted: 1:00 AM, September 8th (Sunday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

(((Mack9512)))


Me BS 55, WS 55
Reconciled

Posts: 4059 | Registered: Mar 2003 | From: California
Mack9512
♀ Member
Member # 38619
Default  Posted: 7:19 AM, September 8th (Sunday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Thanks for the support everyone. Yesterday was hard and I don't expect the next 4 days to be any easier. My H is trying very hard to keep my mind off of the upcoming anniversary. It's not working but I appreciate the effort, especially since last year he never even acknowledged the day.


"If you're brave enough to say goodbye, life will reward you with a new hello." - Paulo Coehlo

Posts: 408 | Registered: Mar 2013 | From: East Coast
sisoon
♂ Member
Member # 31240
Default  Posted: 11:45 AM, September 8th (Sunday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I suspect not triggering would be unhealthy. Sort of makes you wonder why people want to be healthy.... Be very kind to yourself.

I'm glad you're still here.

(((Mack)))


fBH (me) - 70 (22 in my head), fWW (plainsong) - 65+, Married 45+, together since 1965
DDay - 12/2010
Recovered, not yet fully R'ed
I share my own experience because it's the only experience I know, not because I'm a good model.

Posts: 10383 | Registered: Feb 2011 | From: Chicago area
nowiknow23
♀ Guide
Member # 33226
Default  Posted: 12:31 PM, September 8th (Sunday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

((((Mack)))) Sending you comfort, honey.


You can call me NIK

"If you carry joy in your heart, you can heal any moment."
- Carlos Santana


Posts: 25774 | Registered: Aug 2011
Topic Posts: 13

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