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Newest Member: hurtinginatl (44610)

New Beginnings Post Reply     Print Topic    
User Topic: Wh
Miss Saigon
♀ Member
Member # 31965
Default  Posted: 11:09 PM, September 7th (Saturday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

SO just dumped me and my kids in a hurry because ex just texted him that he can see his son but she will leave for work in 3 hours time, we are on the way to do our weekly grocery when he received the text. He doesnít have any definite day to see his son, she will just text him when its comfortable for her or on her whims.
I am so freaking mad that I am shouting at him inside the car, and telling that next time if he is expecting his ex to text, just donít plan anything for my kids and me and if the ex is treating him like sh!t donít dragged us along with it.
We are now living together but didnít see this coming.


BS - me 43
WH - 39
2 kids - ages 7 & 4
together 10 yrs, married 7 yrs

rather than love, than money, than faith, than fame, than fairness... give me truth.
-H Thoreau


Posts: 73 | Registered: Apr 2011
fireproof
♀ Member
Member # 36126
Default  Posted: 7:13 AM, September 8th (Sunday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

My situation is different and I understand your frustration but here is what happens on my end. For months including vacations with friends and even work everyone adjusts on a whim notice if I am able to see my child. People will work for me and sometimes I don't know. That being said everyone is in a different circumstance. He wants to see his child like you would want to see your kids but he is not handling it the proper way. It is not a reflection on you or your children or even your relationship and depending on how often she decides to let you see your child you would jump at the chance as well. It could be something else but if you know him as a kind person then this is most likely it.

I think to fix it:

File for visitation or set up a schedule with her

Stick to that schedule and if she needs him he sees his child when he is not occupied but his visitation schedule includes tons of time where that is reasonable

Good luck!


Posts: 911 | Registered: Jul 2012
Miss Saigon
♀ Member
Member # 31965
Default  Posted: 11:38 PM, September 8th (Sunday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

thank you fireproof.
he is in a losing end here, ex left him and just told him that she just given birth, his name is not on his son birth certificate but she is getting the monthly support for the child and he didnt even got the paternity test that he is the real father.
I am losing my respect on him on how he is being treated by his ex.
ex will schedule visitation but he is always bumped off and just make excuses.


BS - me 43
WH - 39
2 kids - ages 7 & 4
together 10 yrs, married 7 yrs

rather than love, than money, than faith, than fame, than fairness... give me truth.
-H Thoreau


Posts: 73 | Registered: Apr 2011
fireproof
♀ Member
Member # 36126
Default  Posted: 9:36 PM, September 9th (Monday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I can understand it is frustrating and I think you have two options either help him manage solution based suggestions like written visitation with consequences or let it go and decide if this will work for your family.

If I read your tag line correctly when kids are involved we go to the ends of the earth. He may continue to be pulled by her but you have your own children and focus on what works best for you and your kids. It is disrupting but I would try helping and if it doesn't get better then decide whether to move on or just not plan on as many activities with him.

Good luck!


Posts: 911 | Registered: Jul 2012
Topic Posts: 4

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