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User Topic: movies you shouldn't watch
TxsT
♀ Member
Member # 39996
Default  Posted: 11:02 PM, September 8th (Sunday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I find anything with even a hint of adultery in it is hard. Tonig we went to see "the Butler".....really enjoyed the movie but had a hard time with Oprah was having the affair with the next door neighbour. .....even hubby had a hard time with that one.

I leave the room or turn the channel now when there is any infidelity.

T


Me: BS 50
Hubby: WH 53
Together: 32 years
Married: 25 years 09/10/2013
2 boys: 23&21
Dday: 09/11/2012
A length: 4+ years (yes years)
status: Ongoing Reconciliation :o)

Through thick and thin we will survive but he gets only one shot at it!


Posts: 605 | Registered: Jul 2013 | From: CDN
mandan66
♂ Member
Member # 40075
Default  Posted: 11:03 PM, September 8th (Sunday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

My STBXWW and I were watching an episode of the last season of "Mad Men" when I realized it was going to be painful ever being with her again. The particular episode was when Don's girlfriend gets a part in a movie or something where she has to have an affair, and she comments to Don: I hope you don't think I'm a dirty cheating whore (or something like that). Pretty poignant moment in our marriage, and I filed about two weeks later. I will never watch 'Mad Men' again


Me: 47; WW: 48
2 DS: 9, 14
M:18--T:19
DDay: Jan/13
Divorced and Done!--7/13

Posts: 121 | Registered: Jul 2013 | From: KS
Chicky
♀ Member
Member # 18622
Default  Posted: 11:08 PM, September 8th (Sunday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

There is one from the 80's that does me in every time I see it: Violets Are Blue with Sissy Spacek and Kevin Kline. Used to be one of my favorite movies until it (cheating with an old girlfriend) happened to me.


Half of the truth is a WHOLE lie.

Posts: 543 | Registered: Mar 2008 | From: Somewhere Over The Rainbow
changedforlife
♀ Member
Member # 38474
Default  Posted: 11:12 PM, September 8th (Sunday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Booger bear - The Notebook is a huge trigger for me. I've never actually watched the movie or read the book (read one Nicholas Sparks book and you've read them all), but there are so many pictures and quotes from the movie that pop up all the time. The OW in our case is a HUGE FAN of that movie. She thinks her life should be a movie.


Me - BS/Him - WH (in our 40's)
Together 21 years/ 1 preschooler
D-day - Jan 24/13 He confessed about affair.
Broken NC -Feb 7-22,Feb 28,March 6
Continued Contact up to July 16
D-DAY 2-July 19 FALSE R!

Posts: 132 | Registered: Feb 2013
BAMAC
♂ Member
Member # 39334
Default  Posted: 11:27 PM, September 8th (Sunday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Seeking A Friend For the End Of The World and The Five Year Engagement both got me.

In The Five Year Engagement, the woman cheats with her boss. That and other parts of the couple's relationship hit close to home.

In Seeking A Friend For the End Of The World, the main character, Steve Carell I think, finds out from a neighbor that his wife had been cheating on him. In addition to portraying the anger and pain well, he goes home and does one of the same things I did, which is pull all of his wife's stuff out of his closet. That brought me right back to dday.


DDays - 1/26/2013 | 3/23/14
Divorced 7/10/2014

Posts: 82 | Registered: May 2013 | From: TX
vivere
♀ Member
Member # 34465
Default  Posted: 12:35 AM, September 9th (Monday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

The Vow was a difficult movie for me to watch but one line struck me.

I chose to stay with him for all the things he's done right; not the one thing he's done wrong.

That was a perspective I had not considered.


You are responsible for your own happiness :)

Posts: 315 | Registered: Jan 2012
Harriet
♀ Member
Member # 34543
Default  Posted: 2:49 AM, September 9th (Monday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

In "Love Actually" Emma Watson's character finds out her husband bought jewelry for a coworker and she sobs. It was hard to watch (and my future ex was there squeezing my hand). Then she asked her husband, "What would you do? Would you cut and run, or would you stay knowing life would always be a little bit worse?" I tried staying, and it described it exactly.


D-Day Spring 2008
3 years false R
Divorce Final 6/7/12

Posts: 446 | Registered: Jan 2012 | From: California
SecondHelping
♂ Member
Member # 36796
Default  Posted: 6:26 AM, September 9th (Monday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Just about every movie I watch reminds me of the A. If it's not triggers, it's the cheating/sexual message in all movies.


D-Day 1: Feb 1990 (2 yrs into M, kissing and a hickey)
D-Day 2: 3 Sep 2012 (3 month EA/3 week PA)
BS 49- Me, fWW 43- Her (Amibroken)
OP- Deputy Chief of Police from the town next to us! (Age 37)
Married 25 Years, Together 28
3 Kids (17, 14, 11)

Posts: 485 | Registered: Sep 2012 | From: Delmarva
WhatsRight
♀ Member
Member # 35417
Default  Posted: 6:56 AM, September 9th (Monday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I agree about the scene in Love Actually. When she went into the bedroom to compose herself - I assume because of the kids...that was something!

had a hard time with Oprah was having the affair with the next door neighbour

Were they actually having an affair??? Are you sure??? I was hoping they were contemplating having an affair, but she decided against it. ??? Any chance???


"Noone can make you feel inferior without your concent." Eleanor Roosevelt

I will not be vanquished. Rose Kennedy


Posts: 1889 | Registered: Apr 2012
TrulySad
♀ Member
Member # 39652
Default  Posted: 8:28 AM, September 9th (Monday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I have a hard time watching anything fictional now. It seems like everything is centered around cheating, affairs, sex, or hot women.

One of my favorite movies from years ago was "Sweetheart's Dance" with Susan Saranden and Don Johnson. I loved the cast and it took place in New England, so the scenery was beautiful. It was about him having an affair and the affects it had on the marriage, children and friends. While it placed affairs in a bad light, it's still hard to watch now. Too close to home. In addition, it's so hard for a movie to accurately depict ALL the devastation in a two hour time frame.

My WBF still hasn't figured out that I'm just not wanting to watch movies, period. I don't understand how he doesn't get this, when the only thing I turn on is "Ghost Adventures", these days. I'll literally come up with any excuse to not watch drama on the screen.


Me: Sad, but I will survive

True Love: What I have for my beautiful children.


Posts: 446 | Registered: Jun 2013
cissie
♀ Member
Member # 17637
Default  Posted: 10:39 AM, September 9th (Monday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

"Hope Floats" Sandra Bullock

Was on this weekend.
It was a gut wrenching portrayal of what the abandonment does to not only the spouse, but to the kids.


Posts: 529 | Registered: Jan 2008
courageouscat
♀ Member
Member # 34298
Default  Posted: 12:20 PM, September 9th (Monday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

"Unfaithful" with Diane Lane and Richard Gere...nothing happy about this movie...showcases all the points where a WW could choose so many other paths besides adultery...BH ends up killing OM when he goes to his apartment to confront him(accidentally)...just an all around feel bad movie.

"The Other Boleyn Girl" - typical script for Scarlett Johansson. Seems like the same character she portrays in other movies....using sex and betrayal to get what she wants...hurting anyone, including family members, who get in her way.

"Vicky Christina Barcelona" - another Scarlett Johansson movie of course. This one in particular was difficult for me b/c my WH was pushing me very hard to have a polyamourous relationship with him and OW. Not something I was interested in at all! Lots of betrayal played up as "just happening" or because WS was "unhappy" so it's ok, or WS was trying to "find themselves". Don't think I'd have any trouble watching it now b/c I can clearly see how messed up these characters are and I know what my boundaries are.

"Buck" - nothing affair related as far as I know...just a movie that WH and OW "shared" with one another during their initial flirting/romancing. They were sharing movie titles that they couldn't wait to watch with one another. Buck Brannaman's story has a component of FOO child abuse which both WS and his OW share. That was part of their affair; "Helping" each other with those feelings from the past. OW seemed a bit miffed that I "stole her thunder"...WH told her that I had met Buck Brannaman years ago when my kids took a roping class with him and had read books by and about his journey. Funny, he would never read any of the books when I suggested it or watch that movie when I suggested it. But when the OW suggested it, my god, it was brilliant! I've never seen the movie and wouldn't have been able to watch it last year, but I think I could now. Just not with WH. He probably wouldn't remember her suggesting it anyway.


ME - 50 something
WH - 50 something
Kids - 3 boys, Adult, Teen, Teen
Married - 26 years
Together - 29 years
EA 10/11 -12/11; 100% NC 1/18/11

Posts: 113 | Registered: Dec 2011 | From: Out in the big wide open
crazyblindsided
♀ Member
Member # 35215
Default  Posted: 12:28 PM, September 9th (Monday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I hate that you never know if infidelity is lurking around the corner in a movie or TV show. I hate when I get triggered by it. I only watch what I know is safe now. Music too. I hope one day affairs will be portrayed the same as drug addictions.


BS/FWS (me):40 Madhatter
WS/BS:42 Serial Cheater
Together 18 years, Married 13
DD(10) DS(7)
DDay(s) 5/08, 5/09, 3/30/12
Final Dday 7/11/14 Affair never ended

Posts: 2266 | Registered: Apr 2012 | From: California
JustDone
♀ Member
Member # 9742
Default  Posted: 12:31 PM, September 9th (Monday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Same Time Next Year.


Forgiveness is giving up the possibility of a better past.

Nobody forgets what happens, the secret is learning to live with it.


Posts: 2783 | Registered: Feb 2006
ninebark
♀ Member
Member # 24534
Default  Posted: 12:35 PM, September 9th (Monday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

The Painted Veil. My mother loved this movie and told me to watch it. I told her that I found it hard to watch because it is about infedelity, she didn't get it. lol.

That and Anna Karenina, it was hard for me. It didn't glamorize having an affair and the portrayal of the betrayed husband was hard to watch.


BS (me) 40
WH - 48
Married 12 years
DS - 12
D-day 06/21/09
Separated....hopefully divorcing soon.

Posts: 630 | Registered: Jun 2009 | From: Canada
sad81712
♀ New Member
Member # 37418
Default  Posted: 1:15 PM, September 9th (Monday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

After my Dday I went to see "Hope Springs" with Meryle
Streep and Tommy Lee Jones. It was the same week my H and I started marriage counseling. I had no idea what it was about....Though it was going to be up lifting....I sat there and cried through whole movie.


Dday 8/12
thing are better but not the same....
Dday #2 10/13 b/c of TT
8/14- We're in R

Posts: 35 | Registered: Nov 2012
IDeserveMore
♀ Member
Member # 40460
Default  Posted: 6:31 PM, September 9th (Monday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I've been watching Breaking Bad on Netflix with my husband. And Walt's lying to Skyler has really been getting to me. (I'm only on Season 3)

No, my husband isn't a drug dealer or manufacturer. It's just that he withheld and lied for so so many years that I've come to hate lying more than I ever thought I could.


Me BS 45, him 48, 15yo DD and 13yo DS
DD#1 1998, DD#2 2004
6 years of TT yields chronicity.
I may never get over it.

Posts: 69 | Registered: Aug 2013
OldCow18
♀ Member
Member # 39670
Default  Posted: 6:38 PM, September 9th (Monday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

In "Love Actually" Emma Watson's character finds out her husband bought jewelry for a coworker and she sobs. It was hard to watch (and my future ex was there squeezing my hand). Then she asked her husband, "What would you do? Would you cut and run, or would you stay knowing life would always be a little bit worse?" I tried staying, and it described it exactly.

Love Actually was always one of our favorite movies, we watch it probably twice a year...last time we watched it was in May, before I knew, before D-day and this very scene came on and despite seeing it so many times before I started crying. A few weeks after D-day I brought it up to WH, how could you sit there and watch that scene with me and feel NOTHING?? He claims he didn't sleep well that night, um, right.


Me, BW forty something, DD & DS,
Married to WH (49) 11 years, together 16
D-Day 6.8.13

Posts: 620 | Registered: Jun 2013
MsRukia
♀ Member
Member # 40219
Default  Posted: 11:41 PM, September 9th (Monday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I hate the notebook. Why does Hollywood make affairs look so ok? Drives me nuts.
Oh and there is an affair on Breaking Bad too.


BS (34)
WS MisterP (37)
Together 14 1/2 years
D Day 03 Aug 13 EA & PA
D Day #2 01 Sep 13 continued EA & PA with OW
Slowly but surely finding my way.

Posts: 172 | Registered: Aug 2013 | From: Colorado Springs
TrustGone
♀ Member
Member # 36654
Default  Posted: 12:06 AM, September 10th (Tuesday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I loved the "Decedents." I just saw it the other day for the first time. I started to change the channel when I saw what it was about, but then I decided to have WH#2 watch it. It brought tears to my eyes and he could see that it was breaking my heart. It showed all the stages that a BS goes through. I even commented to him that I have read similar stories on "my forum" with basically the same thing happening. I think it really made him think about what he had done and how wrong it could have went. He was like the real estate guy who didn't really love the OW but lied to her and made her believe he did. After the movie was over, he came over to me and gave me a hug, and a kiss, and told me he loved me. For the first time in a long time, I could think he really meant it. It had lots of triggers, but I wished all WS would see it to see what the BS, kids, friends, and family go through because of their selfish decisons and that Karma will eventually catch up to them in the end.


BW-50
WH#2-51
M-9 yrs T-11 yrs
4 children-none together
DD#1-9/5/11 LTA 2yrs
DD#2-7/3/12 False R
DD#3-4/29/13 (OW broke NC)
Status: Your guess is as good as mine.

Posts: 2420 | Registered: Aug 2012 | From: Texas
Topic Posts: 46
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