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User Topic: How did you pick your user name?
Patchy
♀ Member
Member # 39228
Default  Posted: 12:06 AM, February 11th (Tuesday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I think Patchy came from me feeling like I'm falling apart. A bunch of irregular, uneven, random pieces of fabric.


Me BS 44
Him FWS 45
Married 23 Years
DDay 1 July 2012
DDay 2 Christmas Day 2013 same woman
EA with kissing, very strong bond and talk of leaving spouses for each other.

Posts: 93 | Registered: May 2013
Loadsofchocolate
♀ New Member
Member # 40708
Default  Posted: 8:48 AM, February 11th (Tuesday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

What I ate after dday


Dday1 - June 2013 admits EA
Dday2 - June 2013 broken NC minutes after agreeing to reconciliation - only found out 3 weeks later
Dday3 - July 2013 broken NC
Dday4 - September 2013 broken NC
Dday5 - December 2013 broken NC admits PA

Posts: 35 | Registered: Sep 2013
realgood2u
♀ Member
Member # 20940
Default  Posted: 3:17 AM, February 14th (Friday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Online OW had user name of "realgood" and WH thought that was so racy. Pissed me off. Told him she may be "realgood" to her internet audience, but I have been "real good to you".

Gets shortened to RG2U sometimes...makes me feel like I belong in Star Wars.


http://www.craigslist.org/about/best/phi/187640237.html

"Death is not the greatest loss in life. The greatest loss is what dies inside us while we live."

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=cngsVlG3Z60


Posts: 382 | Registered: Sep 2008
blinders_off
Member
Member # 34109
Default  Posted: 4:47 AM, February 14th (Friday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

oh, thanks, marlie2014, now I'm hooked on youtube vids of ice dancing!

Posts: 358 | Registered: Dec 2011
WhatsRight
♀ Member
Member # 35417
Default  Posted: 7:09 AM, February 14th (Friday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

It's what I want to do.


"Noone can make you feel inferior without your concent." Eleanor Roosevelt

I will not be vanquished. Rose Kennedy


Posts: 1889 | Registered: Apr 2012
beautytoashes5
♀ Member
Member # 41900
Default  Posted: 7:42 AM, February 14th (Friday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

3 and provide for those who grieve in Zionó
to bestow on them a crown of beauty
instead of ashes,
the oil of joy
instead of mourning,
and a garment of praise
instead of a spirit of despair.
They will be called oaks of righteousness,
a planting of the Lord
for the display of his splendor.

Isaiah 61:3
It was supposed to be beautyFORashes but I had forgotten it so I typed in beautytoashes5. The 5 is because I have 5 amazing & beautiful children.


Posts: 91 | Registered: Jan 2014 | From: Southern California
Neverwudaguessed
♀ Member
Member # 41884
Default  Posted: 7:48 AM, February 14th (Friday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Mine: self-explanatory. Truly, I was blindsided. I never would have guessed in a million years that he would have had an affair with his ex-girlfriend, let alone two times!!!!


BW: 44 Me
WH:48
DDay1 9-9-13 (18th Wedding Anniversary) 6 wk EA, 1 wk PA
DDay2: 10-25-13 EA/PA with same OW 12 1/2 years ago for 3 months
OW: XGF Predator who never stopped pursuing WH
DS 13
DD 11

Posts: 468 | Registered: Jan 2014 | From: New York
MadnessMuse
♀ New Member
Member # 42065
Default  Posted: 1:54 PM, February 14th (Friday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

The song Madness, by Muse, has been playing on the radio a lot, and I needed something that wouldn't identify me. Having never paid much attention to the lyrics, I just like the idea of being Madness' Muse because of all the craziness of my marriage.

However, I recently really listened to the song, and it seemed more appropriate than I originally thought...


Madness, by Muse -

Ma-ma-ma-ma-ma-ma-ma-ma-ma-mad mad mad
Ma-ma-ma-ma-ma-ma-ma-ma-ma-mad mad mad
Ma-ma-ma-ma-ma-ma-ma-ma-ma-mad mad mad

I can't get these memories out of my mind
And some kind of madness has started to evolve

Ma-ma-ma-ma-ma-ma-ma-ma-ma-mad mad mad
Ma-ma-ma-ma-ma-ma-ma-ma-ma-mad mad mad

I tried so hard to let you go
But some kind of madness is swallowing me whole

Ma-ma-ma-ma-ma-ma-ma-ma-ma-mad mad mad
Ma-ma-ma-ma-ma-ma-ma-ma-ma-mad mad mad

I have finally seen the light
And I have finally realized what you mean
And now I need to know is this real love
Or is it just madness keeping us afloat?

Ma-ma-ma-ma-ma-ma-ma-ma-ma-mad mad mad
Ma-ma-ma-ma-ma-ma-ma-ma-ma-mad mad mad

And when I look back at all the crazy fights we had
Like some kind of madness was taking control
And now I have finally seen the light
And I have finally realized what you need

Ma-ma-ma-ma-ma-ma-ma-ma-ma-mad mad mad
Ma-ma-ma-ma-ma-ma-ma-ma-ma-mad mad mad

But now I have finally seen the end
And I'm not expecting you to care, no
That I have finally seen the light
And I have finally realized
I need your love
I need your love

Come to me, just in a dream
Come on and rescue me
Yes I know I can be wrong
Maybe you're too headstrong
Our love is...

Ma-ma-ma-ma-ma-ma-ma-ma-ma-mad mad mad
Ma-ma-ma-ma-ma-ma-ma-ma-ma-mad mad mad
Ma-ma-ma-ma-ma-ma-ma-ma-ma-mad mad mad
Ma-ma-ma-ma-ma-ma-ma-ma-ma-Madness


Posts: 47 | Registered: Jan 2014
betrayed2years
♂ New Member
Member # 38601
Default  Posted: 5:03 AM, March 23rd (Sunday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

mine is just how things happened, she had a affair in 2010, and never told me until 2012, so, i was betrayed 2years. at least

Posts: 22 | Registered: Mar 2013 | From: p.a.
GreatRoleModel
♀ Member
Member # 36809
Default  Posted: 10:51 AM, March 23rd (Sunday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Mine came from a conversation I had with X before I had confirmation of the affairs and he was projecting all matters of his woes onto me and actively sleeping with a 22yo college student at the time. We have 2 teenage girls and one of his "justifications" was that I was not attractive anymore and maybe I should consider plastic surgery so he can be proud to walk in a room with me and be a better "role model" to the girls. That phrase stuck with me and when I discovered his multiple affairs I went back to that phrase and thought how dare you say I wasn't a good role model. I know that I am the best thing for my girls and they have the utmost respect for me as a mom and woman no matter the crap he said.


BS (me)
XWS (him) NPD
DIVORCED!!!
It takes a village to deal with the village idiot!

Posts: 315 | Registered: Sep 2012 | From: NC
BtraydWife
♀ Member
Member # 42581
Default  Posted: 2:00 PM, March 23rd (Sunday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

It seemed trendy at the time.

Actually I was shocked it was still available.


Me-BW
Him-WH
DD-March 2010
TT for 6 months
Unremorseful for 3.5 years

Delay is the deadliest form of denial. - C. Northcote Parkinson

Your standards aren't up for negotiation just because he/she can't meet them.


Posts: 1483 | Registered: Feb 2014 | From: United States
Allornothing
♀ Member
Member # 42354
Default  Posted: 6:09 PM, March 23rd (Sunday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Mine came from the massive yell-fest I had on D-day. As I was making him leave, he said he wanted the kids and I. My reply "Well, if you want us, you ditch the b!tch, fix your shit, and then we'll talk. It's all or nothing, sh!thead!"

Such a way with words...


Me- BS 42
Him- FWH 42
Married 19 years, Together 25
Kids- 23,21,15,14
D Day- 7 Sept 2013
OW- Irrelevant

Posts: 175 | Registered: Feb 2014 | From: Australia
FixYou71
♀ Member
Member # 42654
Default  Posted: 10:21 PM, March 23rd (Sunday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Listened to this Coldplay song a lot at the time. I really wanted to be rescued from the horrible pain and for him to make everything safe and help me feel like I was worth something. Every line says something to me. (Major self esteem issues....working on it.) Still love the song. I was born in 71...FixYou71.

"Fix You"

When you try your best, but you don't succeed
When you get what you want, but not what you need
When you feel so tired, but you can't sleep
Stuck in reverse

And the tears come streaming down your face
When you lose something you can't replace
When you love someone, but it goes to waste
Could it be worse?

Lights will guide you home
And ignite your bones
And I will try to fix you

And high up above or down below
When you're too in love to let it go
But if you never try you'll never know
Just what you're worth

Lights will guide you home
And ignite your bones
And I will try to fix you

Tears stream down your face
When you lose something you cannot replace
Tears stream down your face
And I...

Tears stream down your face
I promise you I will learn from my mistakes
Tears stream down your face
And I...

Lights will guide you home
And ignite your bones
And I will try to fix you


BS: 43
H: 49
Dday #1 Oct 2007 (Porn for 2 yrs)
Dday #2 May 2013 (Porn for 5 more yrs))
Dday#3 May 2014 (finally admitted to drunk kissing OW in 1994: the 2nd drunken kiss with another woman during our M)
DD 21 and DS 17
Married 1993

Posts: 451 | Registered: Mar 2014
Xheart
♂ New Member
Member # 41888
Default  Posted: 9:51 PM, March 24th (Monday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

The OM gave my wife a golden bracelet with a heart-shaped charm on it engraved with the words "1st X."

This was a gift to commemorate the first time my wife destroyed my heart and our marriage after their fist sexual encounter. Now, I consider myself as having an 'X' placed on my heart forever.

[This message edited by Xheart at 9:56 PM, March 24th (Monday)]


BS (me) 44
WW 40
Together 26 years
Married 24 years
Affair Began Mid-October 1994
D-day: Mid-October 2013
Affair End Date: March 20, 1995
OM Suicide Date: March 20, 2009

Posts: 21 | Registered: Jan 2014 | From: Omaha, NE
mandala
♀ Member
Member # 41724
Default  Posted: 10:27 PM, March 24th (Monday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Couldn't think of anything that wasn't taken - couldn't really think of much of anything at that point actually.

Its a combination of some letters from each part of my name - easy for me to remember but I don't think anyone could guess what the actual names are from it.


Me: BW 50
Him: WH 50
Married 21 years
Four awesome kids
EA Began 6/2013 PA 8-9/2013 (4 meetings) DDay 9/10/2013
OW : "friend" - older, fatter and uglier than me.
Working on R

Posts: 52 | Registered: Dec 2013 | From: usa
guarded
♀ Member
Member # 25364
Default  Posted: 4:50 AM, March 25th (Tuesday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

AP and WH both work in a jail where affairs are rampant and the guards are big on covering for each other. In fact, encourage the selfish behaviors. Due to the security issue, I really could not do much in terms of finding info or stopping the A. It was like it's own little fantasy world vacuum.

Hence, I used the term as a verb as in I was "guarded" by them and also how I felt I would forever be since the affair destroyed every sense of trust I had since I was completely shocked and blindsided. I lost my faith in the goodness of people.


In R? But how do you know it isn't another pack of lies?

Posts: 451 | Registered: Aug 2009 | From: NY
spatz
♀ New Member
Member # 42830
Default  Posted: 3:21 PM, March 26th (Wednesday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Spatz is the German word for Sparrow. I chose it for several reasons:

(1) My STBXWH is German.
(2) I like what the Sparrow symbolizes - freedom, love, dedication, trust, loyalty, protection, and joy, among other things.

The username represents a combination of my past and the future I hope to create.


Posts: 4 | Registered: Mar 2014
ButterflyGirl
♀ Member
Member # 38377
Default  Posted: 3:33 PM, March 26th (Wednesday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I was cocooned for months after D-Day, shutting out friends and family and having no idea who I could trust.

But I had separated and filed when I found this site, so I was ready to start flying again..


xBW~ 35
Two of the most darling sons ~ 10 and 7

Posts: 2104 | Registered: Feb 2013 | From: Florida, USA
MailServer
♀ Member
Member # 40502
Default  Posted: 3:57 PM, March 26th (Wednesday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Mine was a word in an email I received. Has no special meaning.


BS/Me (58)
WH (58) 3 years behind my back. EA & PA
OW (57) Old high school friend
1 Adult Child
DDay: August 26 2012
5 Ddays since then.
The 5th was a total Nuclear Meltdown
Reconciling. Sort of. It's not him. It's me.

Posts: 54 | Registered: Aug 2013 | From: East of the Grape Vine
norabird
♀ Member
Member # 42092
Default  Posted: 3:58 PM, March 26th (Wednesday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I love this thread. Mine is the same username I use everywhere! Livejournal, instagram, twitter, my defunct OLD account. I like it because it lets me feel like my identity here is the same as everywhere in my life--I'm not in some box as a betrayed person. It comes from the only nickname I ever had in childhood; the dad of my best friend and neighbor used to call me norabird sometimes, and I always liked it. So when people use it here, it feels really familiar and comfortable!


Sit. Feast on your life.

Posts: 4086 | Registered: Jan 2014 | From: NYC
Topic Posts: 259
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