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Newest Member: EnoughNow (44278)

Divorce/Separation Post Reply     Print Topic    
User Topic: He is still introducing me as his wife!
torn2bits
♀ Member
Member # 28376
Default  Posted: 8:44 PM, September 8th (Sunday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I can believe it myself, but there is really nothing I can do about STBX introducing me has his wife. He did that 3 times this past weekend at kids events.

I have told him repeatedly to not introduce me as is wife, in fact, I told him not to introduce me at all. I even gave him examples.

The thing is that he does this in front of my kids and other parents. I don't want to start things in front of my kids or other parents. Some know we are divorcing and live apart and find it strange that he still calls me "Mrs torn" or "my wife".

Its really confusing to my kids also. He has been doing nice things for me, like things I have no control over. I mentioned the tire on my car and at dropoff, he checked the tire and filled it with air while I was in my house.

I don't think he gets that we are divorcing. Actually, he doesn't want a divorce and is doing everything to stall.


Me: 44/WH (SA): 49
M: 24 years 3 kids over 10 yrs old
EA/ PA Dec. 2009 -Divorce pending

Posts: 1240 | Registered: Apr 2010 | From: Midwest
Mousse242
♀ Member
Member # 6330
Default  Posted: 9:39 PM, September 8th (Sunday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Stop mentioning things to him that do not pertain to the kids directly or finances. No small talk. If you are in proximity and feel ok with it, correct him with a "no, I am actually his soon-to-be ex-wife". Maybe the embarrassment of you correcting him will get him to stop.

Posts: 5473 | Registered: Jan 2005 | From: Chicago
nowiknow23
♀ Guide
Member # 33226
Default  Posted: 9:56 PM, September 8th (Sunday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I'm sure he gets it. But if he's introducing you as his wife and you throw a fit about it, he gets to look like the poor downtrodden victim.

Don't play that game.


You can call me NIK

Wise men talk because they have something to say; fools, because they have to say something.
- Plato


Posts: 24435 | Registered: Aug 2011
Dreamboat
♀ Member
Member # 10506
Default  Posted: 12:34 AM, September 9th (Monday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

My X used to do this also. I would smile politely shake hands and say politely "I am his ex-wife" as if it was no big deal. Kinda like "Silly rabbit! Doesn't know the difference! " Meanwhile, X stands there awkwardly and the person I am shaking hands with looks uncomfortable. Oh well, the fucker should have been honest!

I only had to do this a few times before X stopped doing this.

You don't have to make a scene, but you can certainly correct him. It only makes him look bad then.


And it's hard to dance with a devil on your back
So shake him off
-- Shake It Out, Florence And The Machine

Posts: 17605 | Registered: Apr 2006 | From: A better place :)
tabitha95
♀ Member
Member # 22033
Default  Posted: 3:15 PM, September 9th (Monday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

While separated and going through the divorce, EX and I would go to the same kids events, but we arrived separately and sat apart. Now we have no problem sitting together, but for a good year plus, we had very separate lives.

Is there anyway you can stay out of the situation where he has the opportunity to introduce you to anyone by not being in his presence?


BW (me) - 45
DS 14, DS 11
D-Day#1: Oct 30, 2008
D-Day#2: June 3, 2011 (same MOW) Separation: June 3, 2011
Divorce finalized: Feb 2012 (due to 6 month waiting period).

Posts: 3247 | Registered: Dec 2008
roughroadahead
♀ Member
Member # 36060
Default  Posted: 6:55 PM, September 9th (Monday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

This is so waffle. We don't show up anywhere together, but he has to write a letter for my land border crossing with the kids. He tends to write "... my consent for [children] to travel with my wife..."

He also is the king of tire pressure checking, oil change inquiring, and help offering.

Not to t/j but he was also fired again (FFS!) and now his children, previously enrolled in any rehab therapy you can think of, no longer have health insurance. A real winner, that one.

F both of TG.


BS-Me 30s
WS-Him 30s
D-Day 4/2012 (Insisted EA only)
D-Day 5/2012 (Did I say EA? Ummm..)
Numerous other TT/broken NC d-days until S 1/2013. D settled 11/2013
MOW-coworker, 40s.
2 DS and DD all w/autism

Posts: 725 | Registered: Jul 2012 | From: USA
trebleclef
♀ Member
Member # 33488
Default  Posted: 8:18 PM, September 9th (Monday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

At a recent meeting in a restaurant to sign house listing papers, XWH introduced me to the wait person as "my wife and the mother of my babies".

Just yesterday I ran into an acquaintance who had a recent conversation with him, the gist of which was, " yeah, we are having a GLITCH in our relationship ( yes he actually used that word!) and this transitioning time is difficult but you know, I'm hopeful. "
Which of course elicited all kinds of "oh your poor thing" responses, which of course was the point.
Idiot. We are DIVORCED - and you are still sleeping with MOW, AND cheating on her too! Bet ya didn't share THAT tidbit.


True remorse isn't followed by a "but".

Posts: 1809 | Registered: Sep 2011 | From: Alberta
Topic Posts: 7

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