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Newest Member: emptylostsoul (44611)

Divorce/Separation Post Reply     Print Topic    
User Topic: Needing support and prayers and good mojo
sodamnlost
♀ Member
Member # 37190
Default  Posted: 6:58 AM, September 9th (Monday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I filed last week, WH is still living here though, working on a plan for him to leave. My kids know nothing. We had to get through the weekend since it was my one DD's Bday. Today or tomorrow we will start the process. We will tell them about the affairs and I will move into my daughters room. Once he has a solid plan as to when he will move - we will then tell them about the divorce.

I do not want to do this. I do not want my girls, who adore him, to have their hearts broken. To know he isn't the man I always said he was. To know just how easily he threw us away for some cheap thrills.


If it walks like a duck and quacks like a duck - it's not a fluffy pink unicorn squirting liquid rainbows, complete with pots of gold out of it's ass.

Posts: 766 | Registered: Oct 2012 | From: Nowhere pretty
MovingUpward
♂ Guide
Member # 14866
Default  Posted: 7:21 AM, September 9th (Monday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

This will be tough on all. Sending prayers to you and your DD's


AKA Moo

Think of the haters in your life as sandpaper; they’ll scratch you up time and time again but in the end you’re polished, smooth, and spotless..while they end up useless

We make a living by what we get, but we make a life by what we give.


Posts: 51851 | Registered: Jun 2007 | From: Big Blue Nation
MissMoneypenny
♀ New Member
Member # 34714
Default  Posted: 7:42 AM, September 9th (Monday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Sending you hugs and prayers !!


" The only thing I have in common with OW is our birthday "

Posts: 44 | Registered: Feb 2012 | From: Europe
lieshurt
♀ Member
Member # 14003
Default  Posted: 8:16 AM, September 9th (Monday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Sending prayers and mojo!


I'm sorry if you don't like my Honesty, but to be fair I don't like your lies.

Sometimes it's better to push someone away...not because you stopped loving them but because you can't take the pain anymore.


Posts: 13707 | Registered: Mar 2007 | From: Houston
sunsetslost
♂ Member
Member # 39885
Default  Posted: 9:22 AM, September 9th (Monday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Love, strength and prayers to you.


Divorced 7/11/14. New Beginning on the Gulf of Mexico. It's real nice.

Posts: 722 | Registered: Jul 2013 | From: The beach.
anv5
♀ Member
Member # 39217
Default  Posted: 1:02 PM, September 9th (Monday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

((((sodamnlost))))))
I am so sorry that you are going through all of this. Sending prayers & good thoughts!!!!!


BS(me)30
WH 29
1 Child
Married 11 yrs
D-Day: 4/9/13 he cheated in '08 & now + trickle truth & tons of lies 6/27 Found more, swears I really do have the whole truth now.
2/2/14 found out more...it seems the TT never ends.
Trying to R

Posts: 71 | Registered: May 2013
Ashland13
♀ Member
Member # 38378
Default  Posted: 1:13 PM, September 9th (Monday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Prayers and peace to you.

So many changes.

But an end in sight.

FWIW to share, I didn't want our divorce, but it was me that ended up filing because his passive self would have just let us flounder in the breeze of it all. A ways out, 9 months, the grief is still here but the pain is different-it's steady and getting duller, rather than the heady, anxiety ridden days of worry over another discovery or what type of mood will he be in, now? What will we fight over today? That's all gone now and I can choose to shut him off like a light switch if I happen to hear from him, which is rare.

Anyway...also, our daughter is like yours, he was her KISA and still is in some ways, but kids are smart. I think sometimes a kid is smarter or stronger than given credit for and she tells me sometimes the good things about now and the bad things about now.

I never wanted her to finish growing up without a father in our home, but she even notices that there is more peace and sanity and she said she is starting to feel a little safer with my trying to keep to routine.

I wish you well and a speedy road to peace and just wanted to share some of our experience because there is a light at the end of the tunnel. It's gradual and not always recognizable that positive change is happening, but is there.

And I share your sentiments about being thrown away.


Ashland 13

A person is a person, no matter how small. -Dr. Suess

Perserverance and spirit have done wonders in all ages.

-George Washington


Posts: 2187 | Registered: Feb 2013 | From: New England
Phoenix1
♀ Member
Member # 38928
Default  Posted: 1:27 PM, September 9th (Monday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I never wanted her to finish growing up without a father in our home, but she even notices that there is more peace and sanity

^^^this^^^ As tough as this is to go through, your kids are likely already trying to figure out what is going on, and they are creating their own scenarios in their minds. By telling them you will actually be helping them to understand what they already know intuitively.

This is so hard, and no parent wants to break their children's hearts, but when he is out of the house there will be a noticeable decrease in tension overall. They will feel it, and appreciate it. Constantly having to walk on eggshells is not good or healthy for anyone.

Talk to them as soon as possible once you move into your daughter's room because their imaginations about what is really going on will really ramp up and stress them.

Sending strength and mojo to get through this!


BS - Me
XPOS - too many OW/OCs over 20+yrs
Kids - DDs 22,17 -DS20 Deceased
M Dissolved 2013

This above all: to thine own self be true, and it must follow, as the night the day, thou canst not then be false to any man ~ Shakespeare, Hamlet


Posts: 1029 | Registered: Apr 2013 | From: Rising out of Hell's ashes!
Kajem
♀ Member
Member # 36134
Default  Posted: 4:15 PM, September 9th (Monday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Sending mojo


I trust you is a better compliment than I love you, because you may not trust the person you love, but you can always love the person you trust. - Unknown
Relationships are like sharing a book, it doesn't work if you're not on the same page.

Posts: 4996 | Registered: Jul 2012 | From: Florida
Topic Posts: 9

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