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User Topic: He choose her name. Would like men's opinons too please.
kickboxer
♀ Member
Member # 39858
Default  Posted: 10:49 PM, September 9th (Monday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I don't think you're overreacting. I'd have a serious problem with it as well!

The other night we went out to dinner at a restaurant that is "USA themed" -- each table represents a different state...decorated with all kinds of road maps and pictures, yada, yada, yada.

We were seated at "her" state's table. It irritated me immediately. It wasn't my WH's fault. Nor was it the hostesses' fault. It's just where we were seated.

I felt the trigger deep inside my gut and thought I was going to explode. My WH recognized the issue immediately and said he'd get us a different table. He stood up and started to wave down someone from the wait staff.

You know what? That nipped the whole thing in the bud. The fact that he was willing to do whatever necessary to make me comfortable, stopped the entire trigger process.

I took a deep breath and told him not to worry about it. Then we enjoyed a wonderful family dinner.

Your WH must be willing to do whatever necessary to reassure you, no matter how trivial it may seem


BW - 42 (Me)
WH - 39 (2 ONS, 6m EA)
Married 13 years, 3 children
DD: 7/13/13
Status: Rugsweeping, I guess.

Posts: 248 | Registered: Jul 2013 | From: Somewhere Out There
aesir
♂ Member
Member # 17210
Default  Posted: 12:54 AM, September 10th (Tuesday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Had to see what this thread was about, a I have a couple of thoughts on it.

My WH plays Fantasy football. I discovered yesterday he choose a player for his draft, that has a last name that is the same as his OW's first name. Out of all the players out there!! To make it worse, this player plays for the team that I like the most! This player is also a rookie, that will get lots of play time!

Not a fantasy football player here, but I do believe that it makes no sense to choose a player that will be warming the bench.

Not defending what he did at all, but you can perhaps take some comfort in this thought. For this football season, your husband is going to be paying extra attention associating OW's name with a (presumably) muscular young man who may also disappoint him greatly depending on what happens on game day.


Your mileage may vary... in accordance with the prophecy.

Do not back up. Severe tire damage.


Posts: 14924 | Registered: Nov 2007 | From: Winnipeg
julesinpain
♀ Member
Member # 36746
Default  Posted: 1:36 PM, September 10th (Tuesday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

To add insult to injury, he wasn't even upfront about what he did and waited until you were amongst friends to find out. So that you look like a psycho for bring triggered, and so that he couldn't get reamed for his selfish and disrespectful behavior right then and there. Disrespect.
Exactly!!

He actually never told me he choose this player, I overheard him say it to our friend during the game. Those friends do not know about the affair and I couldn't say anything out loud other then "Really!"

I ended up texting him sitting right next to him asking why he would choose a player with the OW's name. He said, "The player was a good rookie rb and he knew the team he was playing for had lost their rb pre season, and this kid would be able to have play time. Then he told me, "he did not want her(meaning OW) or her name to control our lives." He knew it might bother me, just not this much. The fact that he knew it might bother me and still went for it says a lot to me.

Your WH must be willing to do whatever necessary to reassure you, no matter how trivial it may seem
Thank you!! This is how I feel!

aesir:

Not defending what he did at all, but you can perhaps take some comfort in this thought. For this football season, your husband is going to be paying extra attention associating OW's name with a (presumably) muscular young man who may also disappoint him greatly depending on what happens on game day
. Hahaha! I like your take on this!! :)

Last night I talked with him a little more about it. He says to me, "I did not even have to tell you about it at all" First off jack ass you didn't, I overheard you! Second, yeah that is a very comforting comeback to my concern over it. Still not feeling great today, as I am seeing there is so much more behind this then just him picking her name. :(

He said he will trade the player. Great, please do!! Still the damage has been done. The way he seems to be pouting about it and not being comforting to the way I feel about it disturbs me.


Me 44
WH 46
DDay 1 8/22/08
DDay 2 9/22/10
DDay 3 12/22/10 same OW each time. (so called friend)
To many TT's to count, last one Jan. 2013 ugh!
Married 21 years, together 23
4 amazing children, 2DS 2DD
Working on it!

Posts: 153 | Registered: Sep 2012
Topic Posts: 23
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