Your second post on this thread I can totally relate to... so I guess my answer then is no, you are not irrational. Because I feel the same way often. And certainly, I'm not irrational!
I also think my H really doesn't want to think of himself as a "bad guy" and it's a hinderance to R. He's also got a big ego. On the plus side, he is trying hard to make changes to improve our M. I see that and acknowledge that. I sometimes feel like I want to knock him to his knees a bit, but at the same time wonder if that's the right strategy.
I'm coming to the conclusion that I can't make him feel/act/say what I want... it has to come from him. But I also know that I am going to need him to shelve his ego and pain and focus on healing me and our kids. I need his remorse to be truthful and honest. I have been waiting pretty patiently for him to get where I need him to be in order to truly R. I'm definitely coming to decide that if he can't get completely there, my patience will run out at some point. He had better "get it" fully and completely pretty gosh darn soon....
Best of luck to you. This all makes me a bit crazy.