This is a subject that we all face, wether BS or WS, whether R or D or S or what our situation or stats may be.
Lately I've been studying this idea and it's helped as a way to combat the large amount of grief that haunts me still, sometimes.
Some big milestones in life have recently gone by and I did better when the day or event arrived and I see periods of activity on SI with people asking about what I call Anti-trigger control to myself.
Rather than get long with particular experiences, I wanted to share something that's really helped me lately with triggers, though I have the occasional set back still and have to re-hook my fishing line, so to speak and set the reel again.
The crux of the matter seems to be that when a trigger comes, outside forces created by it are so strong that I forget myself and lose track of my own thinking. Triggers are so powerful that they are able to separate my heart and mind again, like the A and other cheating did, and this is what I find for the root of my setbacks. I would love input here.
Anyway, when I can recognize for myself that a trigger is actually a trigger, I can begin to work on it. It can be any kind, from a holiday, to anniversary, to event...lately my triggers can be people like Perv/Happy Pants himself, so this makes me have to think harder and prepare my thoughts, often in short amounts of time.
I guess I will end there by saying that recognizing a potential trigger in the first place can go a long way toward calmness and reigning in our wandering minds...step number two has been to come up with ideas where the trigger can be about something else and not Perv/Happy Pants.
In this way,I was able to see how much of life he had taken over and it was shocking!
I don't know if this will help anyone, but it's been helpful here and I've been able to stop missing events or occasions very slowly.Ashland 13
A person is a person, no matter how small. -Dr. Suess