FWH are more than two years into R. It has been a roller coaster, but I can honestly say we are in a really good place now. We still go to IC and still work on things we learned in MC,but I feel so much more confident in our relationship (actually more so than I ever did before DDay). Still, I ttrigger occasionally and we still have some issues to work on.
We've decided we're ready to try to start a family, and I can't help but worry about the unknown. Wondering about others experiences here -- if you had a baby some decent amount of time into R, did it cause any setbacks for you as a couple? Dredge up any of the old issues? How did you deal with it?
Appreciate any advice you have to give.
Just giving your thread a little (baby) bump.
For last year's words belong to last year's language
And next year's words await another voice.
And to make an end is to make a beginning. - T.S. Eliot
When I got pregnant with DS, it was planned, and happened immediately. It made us much closer, and stronger, he was totally into being a dad, went to all the dr visits with me, and was right there at delivery, and proud pappa. He didn't get however how I could love that new baby more than him right off the bat, but he eventually got it.
We had a lot of stress after he was born, and I went back to work, he worked regular day hours, and I did evenings. DS was a HORRIBLE AWFUL COLIKY baby, and H had him every evening all on his own, after working all day, and it was a lot for him. I was exhausted, because I got home from work at 11:30-12 and did the night duty, up every two hours for feedings, and so forth, it was tough. We pulled away a bit. But came right back together when life threw a road block up, we had to move away from family, back to relying on only each other. Those two years we lived away were good for us.
The second child brought it's own challenges, and changes, moving back home, a sick baby, new jobs, building a house....But we did ok.
I guess what I am trying to say is each baby changes things, and puts stressors on you, and your relationship, but if it's soemthing you want, and you make time to talk, and be with each other it can strengthen a relationship.