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Divorce/Separation Post Reply     Print Topic    
User Topic: Jr High hit with tons of divorces
tabitha95
♀ Member
Member # 22033
Default  Posted: 4:45 PM, September 9th (Monday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

When EX and I separated and divorced, we were one of the few sets of divorced parents.

Now that DS13 is in 8th grade, I just heard about several divorces underway.

Do parents tend to wait until their children are "older"?

I am a bit heart-broken over one of them. It looks like my friend cheated on her husband and moved out. I idolized their marriage. He is such an involved father, I was in awe of how lucky she had it. Apparently, she wasn't feeling very lucky at all.

It's so sad to me. I guess deep down, I am a romantic that wants to believe that the ideal of mom, dad, and kids can all be happy.


BW (me) - 45
DS 14, DS 11
D-Day#1: Oct 30, 2008
D-Day#2: June 3, 2011 (same MOW) Separation: June 3, 2011
Divorce finalized: Feb 2012 (due to 6 month waiting period).

Posts: 3250 | Registered: Dec 2008
tryingagain74
♀ Member
Member # 33698
Default  Posted: 5:30 PM, September 9th (Monday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Last year, when I was acquainting my DS #2's first grade teacher with our personal circumstances, she told me that he would not be alone for very long-- that my kids would see a wave of divorces as they got older; XWH and I just got divorced on the earlier end.

I don't know if people deliberately wait unless you mean wait until the kids are graduated from high school and out of the house-- then yes, I think that some do opt to wait until that point. I don't have any statistics about the average age of people who divorce (or how old their kids typically are), but when I was a kid, I don't think I knew anyone whose parents were divorced when I was in elementary school. By the time I got to high school, I knew several, had friends from blended families, etc.

ETA: Your story about your friend is really sad, but it also illustrates how we can look at other families/marriages and think that they have it made, but we really don't know what goes on behind closed doors. I know that I romanticize other people and their relationships way too much. I'm sure that many people have been shocked to learn about my divorce as well since I'm sure that I also appeared to "have it all."

[This message edited by tryingagain74 at 5:31 PM, September 9th (Monday)]


BS (Me) 39
Happily liberated!
Two DS and One DD
It matters not how strait the gate,/How charged with punishments the scroll./I am the master of my fate:/I am the captain of my soul.--"Invictus," William Ernest Henley

Posts: 3620 | Registered: Oct 2011
tabitha95
♀ Member
Member # 22033
Default  Posted: 6:12 PM, September 9th (Monday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

People were shocked about mine. EX and I were at a school party together, being room parents on the last day of school, then that night I found the text to the MOW that resulted in d-day #2 and immediate separation.


BW (me) - 45
DS 14, DS 11
D-Day#1: Oct 30, 2008
D-Day#2: June 3, 2011 (same MOW) Separation: June 3, 2011
Divorce finalized: Feb 2012 (due to 6 month waiting period).

Posts: 3250 | Registered: Dec 2008
Bluebird26
♀ Member
Member # 36445
Default  Posted: 6:00 AM, September 10th (Tuesday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I think it's more the fact that when you become a statistic you take notice of people in the same/similar situation as yourself.

It's like when you decide on buying a car and then you see that car everywhere. Or when you are trying to have a baby and everyone is pregnant. It's one of those things your brain has become programmed to notice.

Hugs though it doesn't make it any easier.


"Loving someone should not mean losing you. Love empowers you. It shouldn't erase you. - Thelma Davis.

Posts: 1358 | Registered: Aug 2012 | From: Australia
7yrsflushed
♂ Member
Member # 32258
Default  Posted: 7:47 AM, September 10th (Tuesday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I think it's more the fact that when you become a statistic you take notice of people in the same/similar situation as yourself.
^^^This. Once I filed I noticed all the divorced people and people currently getting divorced at work. Never noticed it before I joined the ranks.


D-day 5/24/11
BH = Me
2 children
The first true sense of calm I felt in YEARS was when I filed for D...
Divorced 9/2/14 and loving life!

Posts: 1910 | Registered: May 2011 | From: VA
Topic Posts: 5

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