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Reconciliation Post Reply     Print Topic    
User Topic: Anti-versary tomorrow...walking my girls to school!
blakesteele
♂ Member
Member # 38044
Default  Posted: 7:06 PM, September 9th (Monday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

So tomorrow is my 1 year anti-versary.

My wifes affair with a married man father of 5 was discovered by me via text message alert by AT&T. My life, marriage and family changed dramatically between 8 and 10 am last year on Sept 10th.

My wife and her AP would drop their respective kids off at school and then meet up to conduct their affair.

One of the joys in my life is asking to come into work late so that I may walk my girls to school. Sometimes I would ask to leave early so I could pick them up and walk home. We bought a house 2 blocks from the school so that we (my wife is a SAHM with a small business that is flexible enough to allow her to be a SAHM) could do this.

My wifes AP lives miles from the school, but chooses to park between our house and the school. Many days my wife would report NOT seeing AP as she dropped our girls off. Each time I did (4 times total last year) I saw him.

I could not control my primal need to protect my girls from the harm my wifes adultery put them in...and I would engage (mostly entailed me standing between my girls and her AP, staring intently at him, looking for any sign he thought he wanted to engage me). Thank God (literally) he consistently averted his eyes and crossed quickly to the other side of the street. On one occasion I did engage him verbally, again he quickly moved away.


So that is the back story.

Thanks to a tremendous amount of prayer, reading and thousands of $$$ in counseling I am ready to walk my girls to school!

I have asked to come into work late tomorrow and will be walking my girls to school on my 1 year anti-versary....almost to the hour of my original DD.

IF my schedule holds at work, I also have the okay to take off and pick them up....I usually choose one or the other...but not both on the same day.

I decided I am up for this.

My wife and I are not where either of us hoped we would be 1 year into this, but we are both okay with where we are at. We are both currently grateful we are still together after the most challenging year of our lives.

No matter how this day goes I want to specifically thank Sisoon, Brokensmile322, Bionicgal, TxsT, Bikingguy, Catlover50, Musiclovingmom, Tushnurse, tripletrouble,and cantaccept for the sharing of experiences, wisdoms, and thoughtfulness.

I am also grateful to God, my wife, my good real life friends, and my Pastor.

I don't know what the future holds, but I stand in awe of what has happened over the past 12 months. This is unlike anything I ever would have expected....the pain, the rage, the exponential internal growth, the depression, the rollercoaster of emotions....it is all so much to experience.

God be with all of us.

[This message edited by blakesteele at 7:49 PM, September 9th (Monday)]


ME: 42 BH
SHE: 38 EA
Married: 15 years
Together: 17 years
D/Day 9-10-12
NC: 10-25-12
NC: Broken early November 2012 by 1 email to OM...OM did NOT respond.
2 girls; 7 and 10
Fear is payments on debts you have not yet incurred...may never incur.

Posts: 2710 | Registered: Jan 2013 | From: Central Missouri
bionicgal
♀ Member
Member # 39803
Default  Posted: 7:13 PM, September 9th (Monday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I wrote this on another thread, but my heart is swelling with pride/happiness for you and your girls.

Nothing but healing for you tomorrow. . . .


me - BS (45)
DDay - June 2013, A was 2+ months, EA/PA
In MC & Reconciling
"An affair is more akin to a mental illness than a relationship."

I edit, therefore I am.


Posts: 1355 | Registered: Jul 2013 | From: USA
Tripletrouble
♀ Member
Member # 39169
Default  Posted: 7:17 PM, September 9th (Monday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Congratulations blakesteele, I am so happy for you to reclaim this special time with your girls.


40 somethings - me BW after 20 years
D Day April 2013
Divorced November 2013

The sea is so wide, and my boat is so small.


Posts: 553 | Registered: May 2013 | From: A state of overwhelmed
41andthankful
♀ Member
Member # 38650
Default  Posted: 7:17 PM, September 9th (Monday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

This made me smile. Blessings to you. "If God is directing our steps, we can be confident that He is aware of our circumstances".

Posts: 241 | Registered: Mar 2013
TxsT
♀ Member
Member # 39996
Default  Posted: 7:20 PM, September 9th (Monday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I know all will be well. Hold your head high and be proud of the hard work you are putting in to heal yourself, your marriage and improve your outlook on life. I expect a full report after the fact.

T


Me: BS 50
Hubby: WH 53
Together: 32 years
Married: 25 years 09/10/2013
2 boys: 23&21
Dday: 09/11/2012
A length: 4+ years (yes years)
status: Ongoing Reconciliation :o)

Through thick and thin we will survive but he gets only one shot at it!


Posts: 605 | Registered: Jul 2013 | From: CDN
learningtofeel
♀ Member
Member # 39543
Default  Posted: 7:28 PM, September 9th (Monday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

We who have gotten so much from your posts are going to be rooting for you tomorrow.


M 1989
3 young adult kids
D-Day 4.13.13
WS (him): 7 OW over 15 years
BS (me): had no clue

Posts: 84 | Registered: Jun 2013 | From: United States
blakesteele
♂ Member
Member # 38044
Default  Posted: 7:31 PM, September 9th (Monday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

(((41andthankful))) you are so on target with your statement.

My improved relationship with God is one of the very good things to come out of this year for me. How immature I still am, but I was baby like early into this.

Nice to be on real food!

Peace be with you.

[This message edited by blakesteele at 7:40 PM, September 9th (Monday)]


ME: 42 BH
SHE: 38 EA
Married: 15 years
Together: 17 years
D/Day 9-10-12
NC: 10-25-12
NC: Broken early November 2012 by 1 email to OM...OM did NOT respond.
2 girls; 7 and 10
Fear is payments on debts you have not yet incurred...may never incur.

Posts: 2710 | Registered: Jan 2013 | From: Central Missouri
Skan
♀ Member
Member # 35812
Default  Posted: 7:37 PM, September 9th (Monday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

May you walk proud and tall, with your family at your side, and may it be said by all who see you there walks a Godly man.


Imagine a ship trying to set sail while towing an anchor. Cutting free is not a gift to the anchor. You must release that burden, not because the anchor is worthy, but because the ship is.

D-Day, June 10, 2012



Posts: 4124 | Registered: Jun 2012 | From: So California
blakesteele
♂ Member
Member # 38044
Default  Posted: 7:39 PM, September 9th (Monday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

(((skan))) (((learningtofeel)))


Skan...thanks....but a more accurate description of me would be....

....there goes a man who resembles an early Peter!

[This message edited by blakesteele at 7:42 PM, September 9th (Monday)]


ME: 42 BH
SHE: 38 EA
Married: 15 years
Together: 17 years
D/Day 9-10-12
NC: 10-25-12
NC: Broken early November 2012 by 1 email to OM...OM did NOT respond.
2 girls; 7 and 10
Fear is payments on debts you have not yet incurred...may never incur.

Posts: 2710 | Registered: Jan 2013 | From: Central Missouri
41andthankful
♀ Member
Member # 38650
Default  Posted: 7:45 PM, September 9th (Monday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Ha...real food! I know the feeling, I'm currently on a Daniel fast. I'm sure all will go well.

Posts: 241 | Registered: Mar 2013
blakesteele
♂ Member
Member # 38044
Default  Posted: 7:47 PM, September 9th (Monday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

....I am bumping my high school weight...another silver lining to this year.

However, I would not recommend my diet plan to anyone!


ME: 42 BH
SHE: 38 EA
Married: 15 years
Together: 17 years
D/Day 9-10-12
NC: 10-25-12
NC: Broken early November 2012 by 1 email to OM...OM did NOT respond.
2 girls; 7 and 10
Fear is payments on debts you have not yet incurred...may never incur.

Posts: 2710 | Registered: Jan 2013 | From: Central Missouri
Lucky
♀ Member
Member # 6864
Default  Posted: 7:51 PM, September 9th (Monday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Congratulations on your progress! What a wonderful post.

D-day anti is what you make it, or as I like to say, how you control it.

Have a great walk.


♥ WINE - the other fruit juice! ♥


Posts: 36162 | Registered: Apr 2005
blakesteele
♂ Member
Member # 38044
Default  Posted: 7:53 PM, September 9th (Monday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

(((lucky)))


ME: 42 BH
SHE: 38 EA
Married: 15 years
Together: 17 years
D/Day 9-10-12
NC: 10-25-12
NC: Broken early November 2012 by 1 email to OM...OM did NOT respond.
2 girls; 7 and 10
Fear is payments on debts you have not yet incurred...may never incur.

Posts: 2710 | Registered: Jan 2013 | From: Central Missouri
musiclovingmom
♀ Member
Member # 38207
Default  Posted: 8:00 PM, September 9th (Monday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

This post made me smile (and I needed that after the last couple of days). I'm so glad you've gained so much strength over the last year. I'm so glad that I get to read your thoughtful posts and incorporate your wisdom into my thought patterns. And I'm humbled to be listed among those who have been of help to you. I'll be sure to keep you in my specific prayers tonight and tomorrow. Let us know how it goes!

Posts: 882 | Registered: Jan 2013
blakesteele
♂ Member
Member # 38044
Default  Posted: 8:08 PM, September 9th (Monday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

(((musiclovingmom))) praying for you too...hang tough.

[This message edited by blakesteele at 8:09 PM, September 9th (Monday)]


ME: 42 BH
SHE: 38 EA
Married: 15 years
Together: 17 years
D/Day 9-10-12
NC: 10-25-12
NC: Broken early November 2012 by 1 email to OM...OM did NOT respond.
2 girls; 7 and 10
Fear is payments on debts you have not yet incurred...may never incur.

Posts: 2710 | Registered: Jan 2013 | From: Central Missouri
TxsT
♀ Member
Member # 39996
Default  Posted: 8:43 PM, September 9th (Monday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Ok hang on a minute.....I DIDN'T GET A HUG!!!!!

T


Me: BS 50
Hubby: WH 53
Together: 32 years
Married: 25 years 09/10/2013
2 boys: 23&21
Dday: 09/11/2012
A length: 4+ years (yes years)
status: Ongoing Reconciliation :o)

Through thick and thin we will survive but he gets only one shot at it!


Posts: 605 | Registered: Jul 2013 | From: CDN
blakesteele
♂ Member
Member # 38044
Default  Posted: 8:52 PM, September 9th (Monday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

(((TxsT)))

God be with us all.

[This message edited by blakesteele at 8:53 PM, September 9th (Monday)]


ME: 42 BH
SHE: 38 EA
Married: 15 years
Together: 17 years
D/Day 9-10-12
NC: 10-25-12
NC: Broken early November 2012 by 1 email to OM...OM did NOT respond.
2 girls; 7 and 10
Fear is payments on debts you have not yet incurred...may never incur.

Posts: 2710 | Registered: Jan 2013 | From: Central Missouri
TxsT
♀ Member
Member # 39996
Default  Posted: 9:58 PM, September 9th (Monday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

You know I was just poking at you.....but thank you anyway. I was feeling a bit left out.

T


Me: BS 50
Hubby: WH 53
Together: 32 years
Married: 25 years 09/10/2013
2 boys: 23&21
Dday: 09/11/2012
A length: 4+ years (yes years)
status: Ongoing Reconciliation :o)

Through thick and thin we will survive but he gets only one shot at it!


Posts: 605 | Registered: Jul 2013 | From: CDN
StillStanding1
♀ Member
Member # 40144
Default  Posted: 10:18 PM, September 9th (Monday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Awesome news, Blakesteele. I've read how much you've been wanting to have the strength to do this again. Glad you are marking this day in a special and POSITIVE way! Congrats on all your progress!

We who have gotten so much from your posts are going to be rooting for you tomorrow.

So very true! I read more posts than I write and there are some of you posters who hold a special place in my heart and I do pray for your healing on this journey.

Today, there seemed to be a lot of good news and good weekends had by many in the R forum. Many of you around the 1 year mark. I'm 5 months behind and truly hope I'm in a better place in a few more months too. You are all inspiring and encouraging. So happy to read some good things happening for people.

God bless you and watch over you tomorrow! Enjoy!!!!


Me: 40s BS, Him: 40s WH
M 20 yrs - 3 teens
LTA = 2+ yrs, Dday = 2/10/13, he moved out, MC/IC/FC,
He officially moved back in 1/25/14 and our work continues...

Posts: 527 | Registered: Aug 2013 | From: MidWest
ItsaClimb
♀ Member
Member # 37107
Default  Posted: 4:22 AM, September 10th (Tuesday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Have so enjoyed seeing your growth over the last year blakesteele, you can be proud of yourself. Looking forward to hearing how your day goes
{hugs}


BS 46
Together 29 yrs, M 25 years
2 daughters 24yo(married with a brand new little daughter) & 18yo
D-Day 18 Aug 2012
6mth EA lead to 4mth PA with CO-W. I found out 8 1/2 yrs later

Posts: 782 | Registered: Oct 2012
Topic Posts: 52
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