Through thick and thin we will survive but he gets only one shot at it!
"Oh, why do my actions have consequences?" ~ Homer Simpson
"She knew my one weakness: That I'm weak!" ~ Homer Simpson
GREAT book! Mr Lucky and I were exactly the same. Ironically our son-in-law recommended it.
[This message edited by SecondHelping at 7:46 PM, September 9th (Monday)]
Self discovery is one of the more exciting parts of this journey.
God be with us all.
My hubby was really happy that the new book is so positive driven and should be helpful in our quest to improve and thrive.
Thanks for your in sights everyone!
That is one of the very first books our MC recommended -- at our very first sessions! We both had huge AHA moments when we read it. It's very simple to get the concept. Once we "got it", I felt so stupid that I had been married for almost 20 years and never really figured this out. Good Lord.
My biggest problem is this: I can easily speak all the love languages to my H, except the one that is his primary language, Words of Affirmation. In the past, the reason I believe is that I was raised by immigrants (Dad-German, Mom- Swiss)and I was not raised in a culture of much praise. Certain things were expected and certain things were just understood.
My problem in my current situation is that I feel like his ego was one of the main drivers of his A... and I can get resentful of needing to stroke his ego now to make him feel loved. God knows, I am truly trying, but it is very hard for me. Much easier to stroke his arm, hug, touch, provide acts of service, bring home a little thoughtful gift, or spend quality time together. But tell him how wonderful he is -- sometimes I want to choke on that! So I am always looking for positive affirmations that I CAN stomach at this point of time. Some moments are easier than others. I don't know if this makes sense to anyone else...
However, I will say that, while simple, these Love Languages are right on the mark. I also bought "Love Languages for Teenagers" -- hoping to make some break-throughs on that front too, if I can!!!!
Hugs to you!
I made the mistake of getting the audio book, and didn't care for the author's tone. But, the material is great. We had our son (9) do it as well, and it was interesting to see what he needs too!
DDay - June 2013, A was 2+ months
In MC & Reconciling
Global editing disclaimer - I edit almost everything I post, and I am not going to post why every time. ; )
Booked dinner reservations for tomorrow night ( our actual anniversary ) since dinner in the mountains was so rudely interrupted by huge pains from my surgery. Was in bed by 8 just as my caribou was being served. I felt horrible. Also bought no less then 4 anniversary cards......just couldn't decide. Some where just not appropriate at all!!!!M
Ironically, it helped in communicating with my kids too.
Also checked out the 5 apologies. Had some interesting findings there as well.
"We cannot solve our problems with the same thinking we used when we created them."
T, sorry that post-op pain interrupted your anniversary weekend!!!!!
A year or two later, after the shocking reality that he had basically given up on our marriage, I bought the book and devoured it and worked hard to implement what I learned. However it was too late. Not go my marriage, but he had already started seeing her before I got that shocking revelation and I found out shortly after reading the book.
At any rate ... I'm so glad to know you are reading it. Hopefully he will too. It may just change your marriage drastically.
So, a little abdominal pain, really justified abdominal pain is a relief this year.