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User Topic: Update on he doesn't know that I know
Schadenfreude
♂ Member
Member # 43075
Default  Posted: 1:00 PM, May 8th (Thursday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Hollywood could not have scripted this better. I have a "mind movie" of my own with the credits rolling as she leaves the bar trying to explain to her new beau why a stranger (especially another woman) sent her that aptly-named drink and raised her glass in salute.

Posts: 892 | Registered: Apr 2014 | From: Midwest
Losconang15
♀ Member
Member # 42544
Default  Posted: 1:25 PM, May 8th (Thursday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

AH-MA-ZING!!


Together - 14 years
Married - 7 years
DDay- Jan 15, 2014. WH had EA/PA

Hopeful reconciliation.


Posts: 84 | Registered: Feb 2014
Lalagirl
♀ Member
Member # 14576
Default  Posted: 1:34 PM, May 8th (Thursday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Where the hell is the "like" (how about a "you're awesome") button here?

Cheers!


Me - 49; FWH - 51
Married 31 years 9/2/14
2 grown daughters-30 & 27
5yo GS,2yo GD & 3 mo. GD (DD30) and 2.5 yo GD(DD27). D-day #1 - 1/06; D-day #2 - 3/07
Reconciled! Construction Complete.

Posts: 5173 | Registered: May 2007
Melian40
♀ Member
Member # 41205
Default  Posted: 2:19 PM, May 8th (Thursday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Karmita I remember you.
You're awesome.
I wish you the best of luck!


BW-me:40
BH-him:41
DD-age 9
Together 7 years, married 17 years
DD1:8/12/2013 -OW1-PA 1.5 months in 2009
DD2:8/17/2013 - OW2-EA Spring 2013- He tried to hit on her but she denied.

"You can't fix a broken man, but he can break you"


Posts: 218 | Registered: Nov 2013
FaithFool
♀ Member
Member # 20150
Default  Posted: 2:35 PM, May 8th (Thursday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

This thread needs a sticky, it's THAT CLASSIC!


DDay: June 15, 2008
Mistakenly married Mr. Superfreak
20 years of OWs, WTF?
Divorced Dec 26, 2011
"Life is a shipwreck, but we must not forget
to sing in the lifeboats". -- Voltaire

Posts: 17792 | Registered: Jul 2008 | From: Canada
deena04
♀ Member
Member # 41741
Default  Posted: 2:53 PM, May 8th (Thursday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Honestly what was his reaction if I may ask? I saw he has called and texted you a lot! Is he shocked that you pulled it off like that? Sorry I just wish I could have seen his face and pictured how my WS would look. You rock!


Me BS mid-late 30s
Him WS knocking on 40 (lovemywife4ever)
blended family with lots of kiddos
together 5 years, married 8/13
D day 12/1/13
WH ONS had been 4/12
L-I-B-E-R-A-T-I-N-G ME

Posts: 1307 | Registered: Dec 2013
Karmita
♀ Member
Member # 40183
Default  Posted: 3:53 PM, May 8th (Thursday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage


Thanks everyone for your kind words and encouragement.

Coming here has helped me move forward and I appreciate and feel a connection to those of us here who are going through difficult times.

Hugs to everyone


Posts: 78 | Registered: Aug 2013
Karmita
♀ Member
Member # 40183
Default  Posted: 11:56 PM, June 5th (Thursday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage


My ex ( Mr. butt Plug) got fired from his job. I heard, he's now living in his mother's basement.
That basement is a 1970's fake wall paneling dank shag carpeted hell hole with only two small windows. His mother, is a bingo playing hoarse voiced smoker. Her idea of dinner is ketchup sandwiches. They never got along and she must be pissed off he's mooching off her.

I know it's mean of me to enjoy the misery and bad luck he's found himself in.....scratch that ......the old me would feel bad for him,,,.the new me is laughing my head off and thoroughly enjoying his bad luck ....grin:


Posts: 78 | Registered: Aug 2013
5454real
♂ Member
Member # 37455
Default  Posted: 12:04 AM, June 6th (Friday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Personally, I like the *new* you better!

I hope you do too!


BH 51, WW 42
DS 23(Mine),SD 21,SS 21(Hers),DS 9 Ours, DGS 3, DGD 1 mo
D=Day #1 5/04EA (Rugswept)
D-Day #2 3/10/12, TT til 3/13/12
Married 10yrs
I have no love for a friend who loves in words alone.
― Sophocles, Antigone

Posts: 3304 | Registered: Nov 2012 | From: midwest
Karmita
♀ Member
Member # 40183
Default  Posted: 12:21 AM, June 6th (Friday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage


Thank you 5454real, I like the new me too.

Posts: 78 | Registered: Aug 2013
MakingMyFuture
♀ Member
Member # 43530
Default  Posted: 12:54 AM, June 6th (Friday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Ok, when I first posted I didn't realize there was so much to the story and this was just an update. So I'm taking off the hugs and just leaving the high fives! Reading this just my year, and I tip my hat to you!!!

Actually, throwing in a hug anyway...even warrior princesses need hugs!

[This message edited by MakingMyFuture at 1:15 AM, June 6th (Friday)]


When people show you who they really are, believe them - Maya Angelou

DDay 1 - 1/13, False Recovery Discovered more + Broken NC so DDay2= 7/14

9/9/14: filed for divorce

BW: 42 (me)
WH: 40 (him)
DD-10, DS-8


Posts: 127 | Registered: May 2014
TheAgonyOfIt
♀ Member
Member # 39114
Default  Posted: 1:21 AM, June 6th (Friday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Oh my goodness. Do I need you to script my leaving npd monster after close on house Dale. Just posted long long under divorce separation. If you get a chance would love some thing a la karmita! ! If only....


Me BS 49, ExWS: narcissist! Jekyll Hyde. Left in secret early July, moved states. Left home, job, whole life behind and difficult** adjusting. Dog injured and too much to handle. Supremely bummed out.

Posts: 554 | Registered: Apr 2013 | From: theagonyofit
TheAgonyOfIt
♀ Member
Member # 39114
Default  Posted: 2:55 PM, June 6th (Friday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Oh my goodness. Wow. If only you could script my leaving npd monster after close on house sale. Just posted long long under divorce separation. If you get a chance would love some thing a la karmita! ! Or no worries. We all have so much on our plates. Congrats on your awesomeness.


Me BS 49, ExWS: narcissist! Jekyll Hyde. Left in secret early July, moved states. Left home, job, whole life behind and difficult** adjusting. Dog injured and too much to handle. Supremely bummed out.

Posts: 554 | Registered: Apr 2013 | From: theagonyofit
seethelight
♀ Member
Member # 43513
Default  Posted: 3:03 PM, June 6th (Friday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Karmita:

I am glad you had a sister who had gone through two affairs to help you navigate this properly.

I am sorry you even have to be here.

You are one gutsy girl.


If two people truly have feelings for one another then they dont have an affair. They get a divorce and they sort out their feelings. You are accountable for the people you hold hostage in a marriage when your mind and heart refuse to fully commit

Posts: 1516 | Registered: May 2014
finallymefirst
♀ Member
Member # 41060
Default  Posted: 3:38 PM, June 6th (Friday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Omg... I absolutely love you. None of us deserved any of this, but how in the world could a man not cherish you!!! mind-boggling.

He has got to be SICK with regret. You are a role model. You should start a blog

I'm so happy for you.


Posts: 122 | Registered: Oct 2013
Karmita
♀ Member
Member # 40183
Default  Posted: 10:43 PM, June 6th (Friday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage


Thanks everyone for wishing me well. I appreciate your kindness.

I've got a great support system, amazing friends, and a sister who I love so much,...without her I doubt I could have worn my new bitch boots without breaking my ankles.

Also...for the poster TheAgonyOfIt, thank you for your response. I wish I could have magic words to make everything ok for you. I can only tell you what my sister said to me. "Think with your head and not with your emotions, follow through with what's best for you. Be cool, be fierce, be smart.


Posts: 78 | Registered: Aug 2013
Karmita
♀ Member
Member # 40183
Default  Posted: 10:30 AM, June 30th (Monday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage


I just bought a house. My own house. It's a fixer upper but it's mine.

While being married to "butt plug", he had made buying a house something so out of reach. I realize it was because he couldn't handle responsibility. He made my dream of a real home seem selfish of me. The thing is, he was selfish, he didn't want a real home.

Funny, I got my house and he's living in his crazy mother's basement.


Posts: 78 | Registered: Aug 2013
Secrets Kept
♀ Member
Member # 40630
Default  Posted: 11:53 AM, June 30th (Monday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Awesome for you, Karmita!!! So happy for you!!!

Thanks for updating. I followed your story last year & think it is a good one for all newbies to read for inspiration!!!

You really do need to write a screen-play. In Shakespearian wording of course.

Congrats on your new home!!!


Marriage #1=BW-46 (now)
XWH-Deceased on his 36 bday
Divorced in 1996
Marriage #2= Married in 2003
H-44
2 kids together-DS14 & DD12
"All this time I was finding myself & I didn't know I was lost"

Posts: 226 | Registered: Sep 2013 | From: Midwest USA
Karmita
♀ Member
Member # 40183
Default  Posted: 7:44 AM, July 6th (Sunday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage


I've been reading here at SI, and I know I can't really help anyone with advice. We all have to get to where we need to be within our own time.

The only thing I can say, is that cheaters have downgraded the value of the person they cheat on. But if we all take a step back, we can say "no" to the downgrade that was imposed on us. Cheaters Expect you to buy into being less than.

The value we place in ourselves is not up to a cheater.

I was so scared, it has been hard, but I will not be a downgrade, I will not allow a cheater to determine my value.


Posts: 78 | Registered: Aug 2013
Guinness23
♀ Member
Member # 42852
Default  Posted: 8:58 AM, July 6th (Sunday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Karmita -

I never saw your thread until today as I only became a member here in April. O-M-G!!! YOU KNOW YOU ROCKED!!

Your sister was right in her advice to you: think with your head and not your emotions. You did what SO MANY should do here and are emotionally powerless to do: put the trash out on the lawn and slam the door. I don't know the beginnings of your story and how you found out and how you kept it secret but your birthday surprise as many said is FREAKING PRICELESS!!! And the OSCAR GOES TO:::: KARMITA!!!

What is very, VERY awe inspiring is not only did you pull off such a wonderful job informing him, but you stood your ground and NEVER looked back to him. Sure, it was painful. Sure, in the dark at night you were probably second guessing yourself but to HIM? Full speed trash removal. You said in another thread that he is balding, has a pot belly, mouth gard and farts. NOW he lives in his mothers basement. SOME CATCH he is now!!

In all seriousness, he has fucked up his life with the butt plug as a souvenir if Hauren gave it him. For those of us as BS, we would have NEVER hurt them in a million years. This is what happens when they start to fuck up their own lives.

Good for you! You have a wonderful support system, a new home, an ex apartment that you called yours, a raise and new lease on life. KUDDOS TO YOU KARMITA!!


Me 47
ExH 43
Divorced 2010

47 is the new year of treating myself better than I have in 6 years.

What ever doesn't kill me makes me stronger so long as I remember that

My favorite drink is no longer Guinness but water. Call me Dasani23


Posts: 859 | Registered: Mar 2014 | From: Indiana
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