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Update on he doesn't know that I know

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MrsRussia posted 7/6/2014 09:27 AM

OMG! I want to be just like you when I grow up!

plainpain posted 7/6/2014 17:14 PM

I just found this thread. :) I want to say thank you for sharing your story. I chose to R with my WH, and I don't regret that, but I still have revenge fantasies and sometimes dream of a DDay "do-over". THIS is amazing. Congratulations. :)

thecosmogirl posted 7/6/2014 17:34 PM

I remember this post! I never laughed so hard!

Congrats to you Karmita for staying strong and living YOUR life!!

Myname posted 7/6/2014 18:54 PM

I don't know how I missed this post until now. I was literally yelling and cheering you on as I read this. LOL

I'm so glad to hear that you are doing so well.

You're the best!!!!

Oh and note to self.... Don't mess with Karmita.

[This message edited by Myname at 6:55 PM, July 6th (Sunday)]

wishicouldredo posted 7/7/2014 01:37 AM

Lol I love this. I wish I could've done something like this (just another shoulda!) instead of sitting stunned and paralyzed. He still would have gas lighted until the cows came home anyway. I'll live vicariously through you - brilliant!

Karmita posted 7/7/2014 10:16 AM

Thank you to all of the kind words from those who have taken the time to respond.

In sharing my experiences, it's about hope and courage and that as hard as life can be, we can get to a better place. It's not easy, and very hard to give ourselves what we give to someone else.

We all have the ability be our own hero.


TrulyReconciled posted 7/7/2014 15:44 PM

I can't believe that I never saw this, but it's an absolute SI classic in the best "SNAGGED" tradition

LifeIsBroken posted 8/16/2014 21:47 PM

Karmita, Girl, YOU know how to throw a party ! Not sure how on earth I missed reading all this when it started last fall but am glad I read it tonight. My anger didn't come until later. It would have been more advantageous for me if it had come immediately at D-Day. You ROCK !

Hope your new house is coming along; have fun with the renovation and with making it YOURS.

Karmita posted 8/18/2014 08:14 AM

Hi everyone

I've settled in my new house. It's more of a fixer upper than I realized, but I love it. I'm saving, and it's a must that I get a new furnace before winter. I'm renting out the basement and that is helping with the mortgage payments.

I'm having my friends and family over for a BBQ on Labour Day. Should have the painting done by then.

Bigs hugs to everyone here at SI :

BtraydWife posted 8/18/2014 09:03 AM

So glad to hear things are going well for you. That house is your own and a symbol of new starts. Congrats for knowing you deserved better and for the strength to move on when he couldn't give you what you deserved.

brokenheartinga posted 8/18/2014 10:44 AM

Just read this topic all the way through.
Karmita you are so admired by me. I wish I had
been like you back in 2009 when I had my Dday.
You just made my day. I always said that I would
be like that if I ever had a cheating husband but
I gave in and I am still in recovery since early 2010. Now I am not so sure that is what I want.
The pain just doesn't go away. just gets a little
duller with time.
If your ever in ga. We should hang out! I like
your attitude. Maybe you could teach me a few things about being a B**ch when the need arises.
LOL. Good Luck to you!

hopefulmother posted 8/18/2014 11:01 AM

You are fantastic! I wish I came across the OW. She was a fake red head who was a coworker of my fWH. I would have loved to order her a red headed slut cocktail from my H and me. Congratulations on your new house.

blindsided81 posted 8/18/2014 12:14 PM

New here and I just saw this.

Have to say, "Damn! Woman you are awesome!!!!"

I am so glad things are going well for you. You give the rest of us hope!

Cordelia posted 8/18/2014 14:16 PM

So impressed!

Lalagirl posted 9/9/2014 11:45 AM


You started this thread a year ago today. I remember reading your first post and being in absolute awe of your strength and resolve. And you have paid your strength forward to so many on SI. In rock!

I think I speak for many when I say thank you...and hope you are doing well. Would love an update to see how you are doing!



Karmita posted 9/12/2014 11:26 AM

Thanks Lalagirl for your lovely post.

Geez, I didn't realize it has been over over a year since i started this thread. It's weird, it feels like this past year has been the longest year of my life. So much has happened.

It feels good to be able to taste good again, to wake up in the morning and feel alive.

I still wear my bitch boots, it took me awhile to get used to walking in them..( and I haven't twisted my ankles, not even once).

Life is tough, and nothing good comes easy. I'm in debt, have a fixer upper house..... But, I've never been happier.

Cheater are soul snatchers, but I got mine back.

Hugs to all those who fight to get their soul back.

Karmita posted 10/2/2014 21:58 PM boyfriend asked me to marry him.

I said NO

I'm not ready for marriage again and I hate that I hurt his feelings

I'm too confused, I don't know if too much damage was done to me because my ex husband cheated on me and I'm a afraid to ever really trust again or if I'm being practical?

It's taken so much out of me to feel independent again, to feel good about the here and now. I just want to live day by day, to appreciate and enjoy everyday. I can't live more than one day at a time.

I'm single again, but this time I'm just sad but not falling apart like when I left my cheating husband.

It's weird but I like being reliant on just myself. For too long I felt I couldn't be someone without someone.


pearlharbr posted 10/2/2014 22:16 PM

Karmita, love you and your bitch boots.

It has been a long and eventful year for you. Did you ever see an IC? Perhaps it's time now to sort through your feelings on commitment. At least you'll know what you feel about it and why.

If you decide that you want to remain single forever, more power to you. If you decide that you'll be ready for another long-term commitment, more power to you.

fourever posted 10/2/2014 22:21 PM

You are everyone's hero. That being said,
After what you and all of us have been through, I think we find a new part of ourself. It takes a while to get to know that new person.
Don't feel badly that you said "no". If he's any kind of great guy, he will understand your need to wait for a while. I'm guessing that he is.
Take your time, In the scheme of things, a year is a very short time. You'll know when you know. Trust you.

Karmita posted 10/3/2014 07:32 AM

Thanks for the good advice,

I'm not as far along as I thought I was. I'm still struggling with trust issues, I made an appointment to see my therapist again.

Infidelity, is a crap gift that keeps on giving,

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