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Newest Member: meepsy (46028)

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User Topic: Update on he doesn't know that I know
Ostrich80
Member
Member # 34827
Default  Posted: 1:51 AM, September 10th (Tuesday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Your my hero!!! I'm sorry because I know your sad but damn if I had just one of your king sized balls I would be ecstatic...I hope I can make my departure as awesome as yours.


BS..me
WS..him
Been with him over half my life
4kid
DD1 10-01-09 DD2 02-12-12 discovered it never ended
OW..nothing special. Just your average skank
Status..#$%@????

Posts: 5276 | Registered: Feb 2012 | From: midwest
Bluebird26
♀ Member
Member # 36445
Default  Posted: 5:50 AM, September 10th (Tuesday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Wow you are so courageous! Remember that moment when you felt so brave because times are gonna get tough. That was the real you shining through. Please look after yourself this roller coaster is a horrible ride.


"Loving someone should not mean losing you. Love empowers you. It shouldn't erase you. - Thelma Davis.

Posts: 1404 | Registered: Aug 2012 | From: Australia
confused615
♀ Member
Member # 30826
Default  Posted: 5:55 AM, September 10th (Tuesday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

((((Karmita))))

You are amazing.


BS(me)42
FWH 45
4 kids
M: June 2001
D-Day: 8/10/10
Status: Reconciled.

..that feeling you get in your stomach, when you heart's broken. It's like all the butterflies just died.


Posts: 8084 | Registered: Jan 2011 | From: Indiana
Lalagirl
♀ Member
Member # 14576
Default  Posted: 7:03 AM, September 10th (Tuesday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

((((Karmita))))
You are amazing.

This.

You're going to be okay - lean on us; we're going to be here for you every step of the way.

Big hugs,

Lala


Me - 49; FWH - 51
Married 31 years 9/2/14
2 grown daughters-30 & 27
5yo GS,2yo GD & 3 mo. GD (DD30) and 2.5 yo GD(DD27). D-day #1 - 1/06; D-day #2 - 3/07
Reconciled! Construction Complete.

Posts: 5173 | Registered: May 2007
nowiknow23
♀ Guide
Member # 33226
Default  Posted: 7:23 AM, September 10th (Tuesday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

(((((Karmita))))) Honey, please be gentle with yourself in the coming days. I'm so sorry for what you've endured over the past weeks. It can't have been easy sitting on this information and pretending that everything is ok.

Lean on your sister as much as you can. Lean on us as well.


You can call me NIK

"Keep your face always toward the sunshine - and shadows will fall behind you."
-Walt Whitman


Posts: 26485 | Registered: Aug 2011
Karmita
♀ Member
Member # 40183
Default  Posted: 9:48 AM, September 10th (Tuesday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I've been consumed with adrenalin up until Sunday.

Yesterday was like my limbs and my mind have become numb.

I took this week off from work. My sister just went out to get groceries. She's been trying to get me to eat healthy.

We are going to have wine with our lunch, swear like sailors, and throw darts at a picture of my cheating soon to be ex-hubby.

Thanks everyone for your support.


Posts: 78 | Registered: Aug 2013
Josephine01
♀ Member
Member # 38511
Default  Posted: 11:09 AM, September 10th (Tuesday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

You are so strong. . . I envy you.


Me, 42 BS
H, 61 WH
2 boys 19 and 15 years old
Married 24 years

Posts: 314 | Registered: Feb 2013
Tred
♂ Member
Member # 34086
Default  Posted: 11:19 AM, September 10th (Tuesday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

That is quite the story. Sounds like you have a great support system around you.


Married: 17 years (14 @JFO)
D-Day: 11/09/11
"Ohhhhh...shut up Tred!" - NOT the official SI motto (DS)

Posts: 4128 | Registered: Dec 2011
DCP21
♀ New Member
Member # 40061
Default  Posted: 1:00 PM, September 10th (Tuesday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Oh Karmita, I want to be just like you when I grow up! I'm in the same place you were...he doesn't know that I know, and I'm just trying to gather as much evidence as I can before I grow a pair and decide what to do. This "doing nothing" for the last 6 months has killed me. His birthday is in October...mind if I steal your idea?


BS: 49
WS: 53
Girl/Boy - 25/20
Married 26 years

Posts: 27 | Registered: Jul 2013
kansas1968
♀ Member
Member # 32214
Default  Posted: 1:10 PM, September 10th (Tuesday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Even though my husband and I are reconcilling, I LOVE THIS STORY. It is perfect. The only thing I would have added was a copy given to her husband of all of the evidence on the same day.

We all have revenge fantasies, but this has to be the topper!!
Hope you are doing well. As you said, when the adreniline wears off, a lot of pain and sadness will probably follow. Best wishes to you in your new life and bless your sister for stepping up and helping you through this.


Me - BS
Him - FWS
DD - December 14, 2010
Married 43 years 1/14/2011
Affair lasted 7+ years
Affair had been over for 2 years before I found out. OW sent me a letter.

Posts: 1320 | Registered: May 2011 | From: Kansas
Skan
♀ Member
Member # 35812
Default  Posted: 6:40 PM, September 10th (Tuesday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Ah sweetie, as masterfully as you planned and executed this, I know that your heart was breaking the entire time. You are a strong, funny, and creative lady. You are going to do Just Fine, after the heartache has passed.

And I hope that you had a wonderful time with the wine, swearing, and darts. Repeat as needed. (((hugs)))


Imagine a ship trying to set sail while towing an anchor. Cutting free is not a gift to the anchor. You must release that burden, not because the anchor is worthy, but because the ship is.

D-Day, June 10, 2012



Posts: 5224 | Registered: Jun 2012 | From: So California
myperfectlife
♀ Member
Member # 39801
Default  Posted: 6:57 PM, September 10th (Tuesday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Karmita,
Thank you for sharing this...you've given some smiles and a little revenge to all the Bs on this site.
I am so, so very sorry for what you are going through.
I cannot even begin to imagine the stress and pain you have gone through knowing and not acting. You're a very courageous woman. You will need that courage and your dear sister to get through the rest of this ordeal.
You handled it with real style and I applaud your guts and moxy. Keep those traits and work on you.
You deserve better and you will have better. It is a long road, but you can do it. I have faith in you.


I cannot be responsible for another's personal growth.
DDay#1 of a "cheatillion" 4/1/13
Divorce final 11/04/13

Posts: 452 | Registered: Jul 2013
stilllovingher
♂ Member
Member # 29959
Default  Posted: 10:38 PM, September 10th (Tuesday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

EPIC!!!


The only difference between a butt kisser and a brown noser is depth perception.
I'm sure WAL would agree.

Posts: 2411 | Registered: Oct 2010 | From: still BFE, but now BFE, CA
ShatteredPagan
♀ Member
Member # 35475
Default  Posted: 5:16 AM, September 11th (Wednesday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Wow. You are an amazing person who faces life instead of runs from it. We can all use some of your strength and courage.

Take care of yourself and know you are loved by so many.


WS (him) 48
BS (me) 39
Together since 5/13/2005
Married 10/13/2012
No kids together. 3 total between us (17, 15, 13)
Affair started: 12/19/2011
Sobriety birthday: 1/11/2012
D-day: 2/17/2012
R-day: 3/1/2012
"The next time you think you a

Posts: 56 | Registered: Apr 2012 | From: Leicester, North Carolina
devasted30
♀ Member
Member # 39439
Default  Posted: 6:41 AM, September 11th (Wednesday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I am having a pretty ugly day so far and have been crying since 2am, but, after going on this site and reading your birthday celebration story, I feel a little better.
I am so sorry that you are in the same friggin boat as us, but MAN OH MAN, you are a fantastic swimmer.
Thanks for the smiles and I wish you all the best. Unfortunately, the hardest is still to come.
Good Luck.


And remember Murphy is right. Nothing is so bad that it can't get worse!!!

Posts: 1432 | Registered: Jun 2013 | From: Ontario, Canada
StillGoing
♂ Member
Member # 28571
Default  Posted: 7:31 AM, September 11th (Wednesday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Legendary.


"You have insulted my footwear."

Posts: 7635 | Registered: May 2010 | From: USA
7yrsflushed
♂ Member
Member # 32258
Default  Posted: 9:34 AM, September 11th (Wednesday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Please take care of yourself in the coming days, weeks, months. You seem to have a great support system around you. The ups and downs will be here for awhile. Exercise, eat, drink lots of liquids, and try to get some sleep when you can. All of this sucks but it does get better eventually. Be kind to yourself and I wish you the best.


D-day 5/24/11
BH = Me
2 children
The first true sense of calm I felt in YEARS was when I filed for D...
Divorced 9/2/14 and loving life!

Posts: 1943 | Registered: May 2011 | From: VA
SadFlower
♀ Member
Member # 37725
Default  Posted: 10:13 AM, September 11th (Wednesday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Karmita, well done! Good for you. And hugs--you deserve all the support you can get. I'm so glad you have your sister. I wish you all the best.

/tj/DCP21--and others who know, but whose WS doesn't know they know--a terrific book on what to do is What To Do When Your Spouse Cheats: Take Practical Steps to Survive, by Leigh Richwood. I didn't read this until after D-Day, but found it full of great advice. I was also in the situation of knowing, but sitting on the information until I got rock-solid evidence. I benefited from the book even though I had already confronted my WH. /end tj/


Me: BW, age 66
Him: WH, age 64
Married 19 years
In R.

D-Day: August 14, 2012
9 year LTA with former co-worker and family "friend"/7 years EA+PA, 2 more years EA


Posts: 417 | Registered: Dec 2012 | From: Connecticut
DCP21
♀ New Member
Member # 40061
Default  Posted: 10:37 AM, September 11th (Wednesday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

SadFlower, thanks for the book referral. I'll go see if I can find it. I'm glad I'm a fast reader, because I think I'll be needing a few pointers very shortly.


BS: 49
WS: 53
Girl/Boy - 25/20
Married 26 years

Posts: 27 | Registered: Jul 2013
Karmita
♀ Member
Member # 40183
Default  Posted: 11:01 AM, September 11th (Wednesday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage


Thanks again to everyone for your kind words and support.

It kind of feels awkward to be told I'm strong and tough. It's been a blur these past months, almost like an out of body experience.

If it wasn't for my big sister who kept me sane and focused I don't believe I'd have managed my big F-U to my husband.

I'm numb and I have so much more to do in the following weeks and months. I'm resting this week and just taking it one day a time.

I feel a bit crazy...alternating from laughing and crying.

Thanks again and a big hug to all of you who have reached out to me.


Posts: 78 | Registered: Aug 2013
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