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Update on he doesn't know that I know

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Ostrich80 posted 9/10/2013 01:51 AM

Your my hero!!! I'm sorry because I know your sad but damn if I had just one of your king sized balls I would be ecstatic...I hope I can make my departure as awesome as yours.

Bluebird26 posted 9/10/2013 05:50 AM

Wow you are so courageous! Remember that moment when you felt so brave because times are gonna get tough. That was the real you shining through. Please look after yourself this roller coaster is a horrible ride.

confused615 posted 9/10/2013 05:55 AM


You are amazing.

Lalagirl posted 9/10/2013 07:03 AM

You are amazing.


You're going to be okay - lean on us; we're going to be here for you every step of the way.

Big hugs,


nowiknow23 posted 9/10/2013 07:23 AM

(((((Karmita))))) Honey, please be gentle with yourself in the coming days. I'm so sorry for what you've endured over the past weeks. It can't have been easy sitting on this information and pretending that everything is ok.

Lean on your sister as much as you can. Lean on us as well.

Karmita posted 9/10/2013 09:48 AM

I've been consumed with adrenalin up until Sunday.

Yesterday was like my limbs and my mind have become numb.

I took this week off from work. My sister just went out to get groceries. She's been trying to get me to eat healthy.

We are going to have wine with our lunch, swear like sailors, and throw darts at a picture of my cheating soon to be ex-hubby.

Thanks everyone for your support.

Josephine01 posted 9/10/2013 11:09 AM

You are so strong. . . I envy you.

Tred posted 9/10/2013 11:19 AM

That is quite the story. Sounds like you have a great support system around you.

DCP21 posted 9/10/2013 13:00 PM

Oh Karmita, I want to be just like you when I grow up! I'm in the same place you were...he doesn't know that I know, and I'm just trying to gather as much evidence as I can before I grow a pair and decide what to do. This "doing nothing" for the last 6 months has killed me. His birthday is in October...mind if I steal your idea?

kansas1968 posted 9/10/2013 13:10 PM

Even though my husband and I are reconcilling, I LOVE THIS STORY. It is perfect. The only thing I would have added was a copy given to her husband of all of the evidence on the same day.

We all have revenge fantasies, but this has to be the topper!!
Hope you are doing well. As you said, when the adreniline wears off, a lot of pain and sadness will probably follow. Best wishes to you in your new life and bless your sister for stepping up and helping you through this.

Skan posted 9/10/2013 18:40 PM

Ah sweetie, as masterfully as you planned and executed this, I know that your heart was breaking the entire time. You are a strong, funny, and creative lady. You are going to do Just Fine, after the heartache has passed.

And I hope that you had a wonderful time with the wine, swearing, and darts. Repeat as needed. (((hugs)))

myperfectlife posted 9/10/2013 18:57 PM

Thank you for sharing've given some smiles and a little revenge to all the Bs on this site.
I am so, so very sorry for what you are going through.
I cannot even begin to imagine the stress and pain you have gone through knowing and not acting. You're a very courageous woman. You will need that courage and your dear sister to get through the rest of this ordeal.
You handled it with real style and I applaud your guts and moxy. Keep those traits and work on you.
You deserve better and you will have better. It is a long road, but you can do it. I have faith in you.

stilllovingher posted 9/10/2013 22:38 PM


ShatteredPagan posted 9/11/2013 05:16 AM

Wow. You are an amazing person who faces life instead of runs from it. We can all use some of your strength and courage.

Take care of yourself and know you are loved by so many.

devasted30 posted 9/11/2013 06:41 AM

I am having a pretty ugly day so far and have been crying since 2am, but, after going on this site and reading your birthday celebration story, I feel a little better.
I am so sorry that you are in the same friggin boat as us, but MAN OH MAN, you are a fantastic swimmer.
Thanks for the smiles and I wish you all the best. Unfortunately, the hardest is still to come.
Good Luck.

StillGoing posted 9/11/2013 07:31 AM


7yrsflushed posted 9/11/2013 09:34 AM

Please take care of yourself in the coming days, weeks, months. You seem to have a great support system around you. The ups and downs will be here for awhile. Exercise, eat, drink lots of liquids, and try to get some sleep when you can. All of this sucks but it does get better eventually. Be kind to yourself and I wish you the best.

SadFlower posted 9/11/2013 10:13 AM

Karmita, well done! Good for you. And hugs--you deserve all the support you can get. I'm so glad you have your sister. I wish you all the best.

/tj/DCP21--and others who know, but whose WS doesn't know they know--a terrific book on what to do is What To Do When Your Spouse Cheats: Take Practical Steps to Survive, by Leigh Richwood. I didn't read this until after D-Day, but found it full of great advice. I was also in the situation of knowing, but sitting on the information until I got rock-solid evidence. I benefited from the book even though I had already confronted my WH. /end tj/

DCP21 posted 9/11/2013 10:37 AM

SadFlower, thanks for the book referral. I'll go see if I can find it. I'm glad I'm a fast reader, because I think I'll be needing a few pointers very shortly.

Karmita posted 9/11/2013 11:01 AM

Thanks again to everyone for your kind words and support.

It kind of feels awkward to be told I'm strong and tough. It's been a blur these past months, almost like an out of body experience.

If it wasn't for my big sister who kept me sane and focused I don't believe I'd have managed my big F-U to my husband.

I'm numb and I have so much more to do in the following weeks and months. I'm resting this week and just taking it one day a time.

I feel a bit crazy...alternating from laughing and crying.

Thanks again and a big hug to all of you who have reached out to me.

SisterMilkshake posted 9/11/2013 11:03 AM


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