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Update on he doesn't know that I know

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cl131716 posted 9/27/2013 13:46 PM

Wow! You are my hero! Really I wish I had the guts to do something like this.

silverhopes posted 9/27/2013 13:48 PM

Hope you are doing OK, Karmita. This must be a very hard time for you right now. It sounds like you stood up for your boundaries, and that takes a lot of courage. It's OK to struggle. Everything in your life has changed, and he did a terrible thing to you and your M. It will take a long time to heal from that. We're here for you.

3kids30years posted 9/27/2013 13:59 PM

Karmita -

Hows it going? I think of you often, and how amazing you are and what an asshole he is!

You doing ok?



tushnurse posted 9/27/2013 14:04 PM

Karmita Just want you to know that we are all rooting for you. Use the anger to help you be strong through this. You will survive this, and you will be a happier stronger woman for it.

I hope you find a wonderful new apartment. This will help you to start feeling independent again.

((((and strength))))

Needadrink posted 9/27/2013 16:47 PM

Purple Rose that made me laugh so much thank you I had forgotten what it was like. I have no intention of making the situation funny though as we all understand it's not, I hope you are ok Karmita you deserve an oscar.

Karmita posted 9/30/2013 14:52 PM

Thanks again everyone for your support.

I've been reading here and my heart goes out to all of you. You're all going through so much pain and yet so many of you reached out to me with kindness and encouragement.
Even though it seems there are so many awful people in the world they are outnumbered by generous and kind people such as yourselves.

I'm doing ok...I guess. My sister is amazing...she was a member here years ago and she sent me here. I love her so much.

I filed for divorce. My soon to be ex-husband, who I now refer to as "Butt Plug" is acting like the victim, crying for himself. I hope he drowns in his crocodile tears.

He is such an *#%€¥^% ass*%#~!!

I found an apartment, will be moving in on the first of November. It's scary and exciting. I've haven't lived alone for so long.

mchercheur posted 9/30/2013 15:07 PM

Best of luck with the apt & everything Karmita.
Your strength is an inspiration to us all.

Alex CR posted 9/30/2013 15:57 PM

(((Karmita))) What you did took great courage.

I don't know what or where your roller coaster will take you now, but wanted to send hugs. Being so busy with your 'surprise', moving and dealing with all the new changes in your life has kept you focused on the new life you choose to build.

Whether we R or not, there seem to be stages of healing from betrayal that occur over the months after Dday. Shock, anger, overwhelming sadness.....everybody is different but some stages seem to be common for many of us. Please know you are among friends here who are always ready to listen.

Keep posting, take good care of yourself and good luck in your new home.

exhausted lady posted 9/30/2013 16:29 PM


What you did is epic! You must have the most badass pair of bitchboots on the planet!!! (and you wear them well honey)

You're doing great. The first few weeks & months after a relationship explodes are hard. Very hard. You're gonna go up, down, and all around. Please be VERY patient with yourself, because you deserve it.

You've started taking the steps you need to take (time off to grieve, time with your sis, a new apartment) and those steps will serve you well.

Try your best to stay NC with that loser you just left in your dust. There really is nothing he can say to make things any better, right? So, why go there.

You aren't a're a warrior princess, and you just proved it.

Karmita posted 11/2/2013 12:45 PM

So, I moved into my new place yesterday.

It was hard leaving my sister's place, where I been staying since I left my husband. She offered to spend the night with me....but like they say you have to rip the bandaid off.... I told her I'd be alright.

I went to bed only after I couldn't keep my eyes open. In the middle of the night I woke up and for a second I didn't know where I was. It's hard to believe that less than 6 months ago I thought I was happily married and we were planning to start a family and now I'm living in a new apartment and will be divorced in the very near future.

Today, I've got some friends over helping me paint the place. I'm going with bright colors. Yellow for the kitchen and living room and coral for the bedroom.

I bought a print that says "home is where the heart is" , and I'm putting all my heart into creating a new home for myself.

Williesmom posted 11/2/2013 14:05 PM

Thanks for the update. I've been wondering how you're doing. It gets better.

DeadMumWalking posted 11/2/2013 16:18 PM

WTG Karmita, you've got this!!

Thanks for the update, and for being such an inspiration to many of us here.


Laura28 posted 11/2/2013 16:29 PM

Hi Karmita

I have been following your story and truly admire your courage.

A few years ago I wrote a post about my fantasy future if I decided to D my husband.

I planned where I would live and what I would do. I used to daydream about the wonderful new life I would have. It was one of the many strategies which kept me sane.

I hope you have dreams. I hope you continue to make plans - the decorating and painting are a wonderful start. Keep looking forward. I cannot imagine how hard this is for you but really hope you keep working on your "dream" and I hope you find peace in your new little house.



LetMeRollIt posted 11/2/2013 16:47 PM


Karmita posted 11/2/2013 20:15 PM

Thanks for the kind words.

Sending you all a big hug.

The place looks great. My friends are great. We ordered pizza and had a couple of beers and made fun of my loser husband.

Going to hit the tired.

1956 posted 11/3/2013 07:24 AM

I read your story and I am so proud of you girl, you are so strong and you did what was right.
You deserve all the good things in life and you will get there…….glad your happy with your new place…… next step is getting out and enjoying life…..
say "yes" to everything and see where it leads you………….

Secrets Kept posted 11/5/2013 19:42 PM

Good for you!!!

Karmita posted 12/12/2013 17:43 PM

Seasons greetings to you all.

Just want to say that I know the holidays are tough for everyone here. I'm settled in my new place and put up a Christmas tree this past weekend. I chose a spindly tree that I only paid ten dollars for. This tree is a lot like me, a bit broken and kind of sad. I decorated it and covered it in lights and I have to say I think it's the most beautiful Christmas tree ever.

Hugs to everyone and I just want to say you're all beautiful and don't forget that.

Karmita posted 3/10/2014 21:31 PM

It's been awhile.

I'm officially divorced.

I'm doing great. I got a promotion at work. I'm dating a cute guy.

My ex and Hauren broke up.
Too bad, because they deserved each other

karmahappens posted 3/10/2014 21:34 PM

I am glad you are doing well!!

Did the ex come by crying when his fantasy blew up?

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