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New Beginnings Post Reply     Print Topic    
User Topic: What is this????
nutmegkitty
♀ Member
Member # 33882
Default  Posted: 2:13 PM, September 10th (Tuesday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

So, I've been "dating" this guy from Match. We get along great, he makes me laugh a LOT, he's very sweet, very considerate, very devoted to his son, and on good terms with his ex.
In the beginning he was concerned because he siad I probably wasn't "his type". He's a good foot taller than I am, and he's a big guy. (I'm 5'1" and petite, just for frame of reference).
I don't know what my type is, except I think in the past I used to be attracted to the "sparkly" kind, who would wow at first and then go icy once they knew I was into them. Yes, I'm sure of it.
This guy isn't sparkly. He's real and genuine. This is so weird for me, because about a week ago we were texting and he said he was concerened that we lived an hour apart and that if we got inviolved that would be a hinderance. And I cried, hard. SO NOT LIKE ME. I think about him a lot. We text a lot adn I willingly talk on the phone with him (which if you know me is HUGE).

So, what is going on in my head? Is this limerence??? Yikes. How do I get out of this and get my head back on straight??? ACK! I feel like a sappy 14 year old girl and I don't like it, dammit.


me (BS)
him (NPD Ex)
2 dds
DDay 10/7/11
OW
OC

Divorced 1/17/2013

"Diamonds aren't a girl's best friend, freedom is."


Posts: 2589 | Registered: Nov 2011 | From: MA
cmego
♀ Member
Member # 30346
Default  Posted: 2:19 PM, September 10th (Tuesday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I think I got confused. So, you like him? You are dating and now he says the distance is too far and you aren't his "type"?

Or, he has already ended it and you are sad?


me...BS, 43 years old, 2 small kids
WS, 41, multiple gay affairs
M 15 years, together 17
Divorced

"For whatever we lose, like a you or a me, it's always ourselves we find in the sea" ee cummings


Posts: 4126 | Registered: Dec 2010 | From: South
nutmegkitty
♀ Member
Member # 33882
Default  Posted: 2:26 PM, September 10th (Tuesday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

we are dating, yes.

Before we agreed to date, he brough up the fact that we live an hour away and that that might be hard, and should we even date (this was after a great first date), and that's when I cried. He was also a little concerned that I coudlnt articulate my "type" - like, do I like tall dark and handsome or blondes or whatever. I guess I should have jsut said "my type excludes NPD assholes" and go from there, lol.

Anyeay, So we agreed to date and have fun, and I spent some time last weekend with him and it went great.

Adn now I miss him. I think about him a lot. I can't wait to text or talk on the phone with him, and think about when we can see each other again.

IT's all too much feeling!! I'm not used to this!!! How do I know what's real and what's limerence????


me (BS)
him (NPD Ex)
2 dds
DDay 10/7/11
OW
OC

Divorced 1/17/2013

"Diamonds aren't a girl's best friend, freedom is."


Posts: 2589 | Registered: Nov 2011 | From: MA
nutmegkitty
♀ Member
Member # 33882
Default  Posted: 2:29 PM, September 10th (Tuesday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

And another part is I am worried that do I like HIM, or do I like the attention???? How do I know??

Ack. I feel like a complete mess about this. I do like him. I guess I just have to "let" myself.


me (BS)
him (NPD Ex)
2 dds
DDay 10/7/11
OW
OC

Divorced 1/17/2013

"Diamonds aren't a girl's best friend, freedom is."


Posts: 2589 | Registered: Nov 2011 | From: MA
MyVoice
♀ Member
Member # 35695
Default  Posted: 3:04 PM, September 10th (Tuesday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

SO it sounds like you've just had a few dates? After a few dates and lots of texting/talking you are loving the attention, caught up in the newness of it all.Getting to know someone you're attracted to is a LOT of fun but don't let your head and heart get ahead of reality. Just remind yourself you met him and if it doesn't work you will meet someone else enjoy it but don't think it's forever... be careful you sound delicate!


Me:BW 46, Him:WH 50
two kids DD14 and DS17
Married 26 years
OW 28, crew member (he was the ships captain)
"People are formed by their actions, not their ideals" unknown

Posts: 470 | Registered: May 2012 | From: Australia
better4me
♀ Member
Member # 30341
Default  Posted: 4:35 PM, September 10th (Tuesday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

oh, how I understand what you are going through. It does bring up a whole 'nother set of issues doesn't it nutmegkitty? I'm trying to not get too much in my head, trying to just enjoy the journey. I flip from happy to worried though over nothing at all...just stories I make up in my head. marcandangel.com have a good article on "5 ways to stop feeling insecure in your relationships" that I have been reading and re-reading the last couple of days.

Good news is that we can remember that the limerance, 14 year old giggly, muddled, confused and dreamy school girl stuff doesn't last...and that can be bad news too. Your head is fine, just give it time...


DDay 11/17/2010 BW:52
Divorced

Posts: 3122 | Registered: Dec 2010 | From: Iowa
Topic Posts: 6

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