Do you want me to tell you something really subversive? Love is everything it's cracked up to be. That's why people are so cynical about it.
If he can get to empathy and acceptance then he will see you for real, not this villanized version he has in his head, and then he can have REAL feeling for you, whether or not attraction is there time will tell imo.
Thanks everyone for the input. It gives me stuff to think about. Last night we were talking about how last week we didn't get to start MC because the therapist had strep throat. My husband said - I'm waiting for them to call onto day and say he's having an asthma attack!
I do believe he has unresolved issues that are left over from before me, even.
We are both in IC, so am really anxious to be together in MC and start talking about some of this *together*.
It seems to me that he's effectively managed to get you worried that he's not attracted to you, when, in fact, the focus really should be on are *you* willing to R with him.
I think I'm sort of with Bobbi Sue -- I would probably say something along the lines of that's really a shame, but the one thing I know is that I can't be married to someone who's not attracted to me, so let's start wrapping the legalities up now. But I can be a real bitch. I'm guessing you would see some serious backtracking on his part.
And I totally agree about the dishwasher grope. That was something that we discussed a lot in the early days of R - grabbing my ass while I'm doing something else is *not* foreplay.
This makes me happy for two reasons:
1. I asked him, he said he would, and he did
2. I don't think he would do it if the A was still on going.