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Newest Member: whathappensnext (45075)

Reconciliation Post Reply     Print Topic    
User Topic: He reached out for me!
soconfusednow
♀ Member
Member # 40078
Default  Posted: 10:41 PM, September 12th (Thursday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

We were talking about how certain things trigger me & I told him one of the things I needed was for him to reach out & hug me without being asked. Although I was sad at the time, no hug came.

Later in the evening our paths were crossing, he could have just walked around me. Instead he opened his arms for me to enter and receive a hug, not just any hug, but the best hug I've had in a while!

[This message edited by soconfusednow at 10:44 PM, September 12th (Thursday)]


D-Day January 2013
prior EA in the 90's
me 50
WH 52
NC-several
last broken NC 7/2013 (hopefully)
Married 29 years
2 kids
Want to believe it's over, but is it really? Will I ever trust again?

Posts: 317 | Registered: Jul 2013 | From: USA
sinsof thefather
♀ Member
Member # 29295
Default  Posted: 2:52 AM, September 13th (Friday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I'm glad he acted on what you asked him and gave you what you needed. I hope this positive step from him is the start of a permanent change in this regard.


...second star to the right and straight on till morning.

Posts: 1877 | Registered: Aug 2010 | From: UK
ok4now
♀ Member
Member # 35896
Default  Posted: 4:12 AM, September 13th (Friday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

So confused for now

That is awesome. I know a year after Dday. I finally told my WH what I needed. I know it sounds stupid but I explained when I triggered or brought up the EA what I needed was reassurance. Him to hug me or tell me he is sorry, or he loved me.

This was our light bulb moment. He told me he thought when I brought up the past I was looking for an argument and he would immediately get into his passive aggressive stage.

IC for him definitely helped with our communication and with him pulling away when I wanted to talk about it.


BS - 39 (me)
WS - 33
DD - 6
D Day - 6/2/11 EA (would have been a PA if the OW was game)
"I'm not going to be the person I am expected to be anymore"
Blue de Chanel Commercial

Posts: 121 | Registered: Jun 2012 | From: Maryland
AFrayedKnot
♂ Member
Member # 36622
Default  Posted: 5:03 AM, September 13th (Friday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage


BS 39
fWS 36 (SurprisinglyOkay)
DD DS
A whole bunch of shit that got a lot worse before it got better.
"Knowing is half the battle"

Posts: 2600 | Registered: Aug 2012
Topic Posts: 4

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