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Reconciliation Post Reply     Print Topic    
User Topic: Does the pain ever end??
starmoonchild
♀ Member
Member # 39117
Default  Posted: 5:58 PM, September 13th (Friday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

So I am 9 months from my third DDay, and just finished another bout of crying and mind movies and that same old disbelief....I just wish I could wake up and it was all a dream, a nightmare...that he would walk in the door and say No of course it never happened, I never loved and slept with someone else.
I miss the old me, when I felt safe, when I always got over everything by just picking myself up and saying, OK now just do what you have to do. I can't seem to pick myself up no matter what I do, it only last a day, maybe less, and then here comes the pain again. Why did he have to do it?

Posts: 73 | Registered: Apr 2013 | From: Canada
Rebreather
♀ Member
Member # 30817
Default  Posted: 6:27 PM, September 13th (Friday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Yes, it does. I promise.

It takes time, and it work and probably some therapy.

I'm sorry you are here, I'm sorry you have to go through this mess. You will heal from this and be just fine.


Me BS
Him WH
2 ddays in '07
Recovering.
"The cure for the pain, is the pain." -Rumi

Posts: 6360 | Registered: Jan 2011
crazyblindsided
♀ Member
Member # 35215
Default  Posted: 6:31 PM, September 13th (Friday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

(((starmoonchild)))

Yes it will get better. you have suffered 3 DDays that is not easy to come back from. I have been there too.

What helped me the most was to take the focus off my WH and onto myself. I have been doing it ever since.

They are the one's who made the awful choices and betrayed in the worst possible way... over and over again

You did nothing wrong. When I realized the issue was with WH and not me that is when the pain decreased significantly for me.

[This message edited by crazyblindsided at 6:32 PM, September 13th (Friday)]


BS/FWS (me):40 Madhatter
WS/BS:42 Serial Cheater
Together 18 years, Married 13
DD(10) DS(7)
DDay(s) 5/08, 5/09, 3/30/12
Final Dday 7/11/14 Affair never ended

Posts: 2266 | Registered: Apr 2012 | From: California
Simple
♀ Member
Member # 18814
Default  Posted: 7:06 PM, September 13th (Friday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

This healing takes time. It will take longer if you allow what happened to be denied. I've made a mistake before so this time around I let myself feel hurt, I let myself see the images over and over so I can't deny the truth. The only way those images stopped is when my FWS start overwhelming it with his actions that are in the right direction. When those images almost disappear then you know you're in true R and the pain is getting less and less.

In my case I don't want our old marriage. I got a better one.

Hugs your way.


Love is a choice.

True love is harder to come by than soul mates. True love requires work.

Ignorance can be cured with knowledge. There is no cure for being an idiot.


Posts: 927 | Registered: Mar 2008
starmoonchild
♀ Member
Member # 39117
Default  Posted: 9:23 PM, September 13th (Friday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Thanks so much for all of your words, I don't know what I'd do without this forum at times.

Posts: 73 | Registered: Apr 2013 | From: Canada
Topic Posts: 5

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