I am one of the hitters. At first i didn't feel bad about it. But I realized soon that hitting him was not living according to my values. That was eye opening to me.
After I was a wayward I was starting to get healthy but I had such a long way to go. I realize that things happen quickly but this is where we need to have our values defined BEFORE things like this happen. how many of us have sat down and determined what this looks like for us? I didn't, and that's why it was so easy to say yes to an affair.
it's like this to me: I'm a mandatory reporter. The decision on if I'm going to report child abuse has already been made for me. I do it. There is no question.
same with this kind of thing - clarify your values. Really sit down and think about the kind of person you want to be. and then when situations come up that decision has already been made. I had not done this. Every adult should do this.
I have no idea if hitting someone is as bad as having an affair. I do know that not living your values betrays your own self and that is so effing hard to live with.
his Ddays: 2/10, 7/11
my Ddays: 1/12, 4/12 broken NC 12/12
me (WW/BS): 48
4 kiddos in mid 20's
Me: I didn't sign up for this.
Him: you're already in this. All you can do is resign...