Good luck in your healing.
"That's the thing about pain, it demands to be felt."
What I didn't know is: if you're worried you might be a sociopath, it proves that you're not. The same probably applies to NPD, like you said, you'd never admit there was anything wrong with you.
But IC has been life-changing for me, I hope you have a great experience, too.
Get to IC, everyone can be guilty of having these traits and being a jerk at one point or another. Let your IC help you out.
Good luck to you.
As an aside... why is your wife always your "beautiful BS" or "wonderful BS" or "poor BS"? Do you write posts for her to read? I.e., to prove to her that you are doing the work?
[This message edited by UnexpectedSong at 11:28 PM, September 17th (Tuesday)]
It's just how I feel. I had someone wonderful, beautiful, smart, and funny who loved me with everything she had. I destroyed everything and as a result, she is suffering. I see the hurt and pain everyday and I feel so bad I can't do anything to take it away or help aleviate it any sooner. She sees all my posts and all my PMs. Part of our transparency.
Now? I have no idea. A lot of it has been consciously weeded out of my collective conscious, and I honestly have no conceptual clue as to whether or not I would still test as having Narcissistic tendency.
It took a lot of hard work and conscious effort, regardless. Evenings crying, battling with myself. And I don't know what effects the drugs that have changed in my system have caused, or my weight loss, or my exercise regimen. All I know is that I feel like I'm being a much better person than the man I was, which is all I can really control.