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Newest Member: JRconfused (45363)

New Beginnings Post Reply     Print Topic    
User Topic: And lied to and betrayed again
fireproof
♀ Member
Member # 36126
Default  Posted: 11:35 PM, September 15th (Sunday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I am so sorry! I can't imagine the hurt but I think with a man if this character you know the real man.

You could have made life plans for you and your kids and his actions end up like those at the party. I think you dodged permanent pain and most importantly left yourself open to find an honest and good man.


Posts: 1008 | Registered: Jul 2012
click4it
♀ Member
Member # 209
Default  Posted: 11:41 PM, September 15th (Sunday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I am just shocked that he would actually go the party that he knew you were going to be at, say he's not going, then goes AND then acts like you aren't there? Incredible.

Glad you blocked any future communication with him. That has got to be one of the lowest of the low.

Good riddens.

sorry, you had to go through that.


Me: 42
Two boys: 17 and 14
Divorced 12-13-05
d-day 10-02-01

Laughter will cure life's ills. Have you had your laugh today?


Posts: 25628 | Registered: Jun 2002 | From: California
fraeuken
♀ Member
Member # 30742
Default  Posted: 11:50 PM, September 15th (Sunday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

He had asked me in the morning if I was going; I told him I was not sure and that if I went I wanted to go with him as a couple. He was very set on not going because he 'hated' the town it was in and did not care about the woman whose birthday it was and blah, blah...

I think at the point he did this he was too drunk to really think it through. Not an excuse, but I have a feeling that's what happened.

It was the look in his eyes that really hurt; the look when somebody is caught and all of a sudden you just feel like a nuisance. With that look and his action with the other woman he made me feel like I was absolutely nothing. And then he had the audacity to walk over to some joined friends and tell them very loudly, so that my girlfriend, who stayed behind could hear it, that he was having a lot of friends at this party and that he was planning on partying all night. WTF?

Some people do not know a good thing when it stares them in the face.


Temporarily independent with the whole world at my feet.

Posts: 1260 | Registered: Jan 2011 | From: California
click4it
♀ Member
Member # 209
Default  Posted: 11:56 PM, September 15th (Sunday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Nope he sure doesn't. As I say, good riddens.


Me: 42
Two boys: 17 and 14
Divorced 12-13-05
d-day 10-02-01

Laughter will cure life's ills. Have you had your laugh today?


Posts: 25628 | Registered: Jun 2002 | From: California
Kajem
♀ Member
Member # 36134
Default  Posted: 12:06 AM, September 16th (Monday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

((((((( fruaeken))))))

The interesting thing about the second time on the infidelity roller coaster-you've already figured out what worked for you the first time. The healing happens faster.

He's an ass. You deserve better.

More hugs,
K


I trust you is a better compliment than I love you, because you may not trust the person you love, but you can always love the person you trust. - Unknown
Relationships are like sharing a book, it doesn't work if you're not on the same page.

Posts: 5279 | Registered: Jul 2012 | From: Florida
trebleclef
♀ Member
Member # 33488
Default  Posted: 12:13 AM, September 16th (Monday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Just. WOW.

what a loser!


True remorse isn't followed by a "but".

Posts: 1809 | Registered: Sep 2011 | From: Alberta
heartbroken_kk
♀ Member
Member # 22722
Default  Posted: 12:35 AM, September 16th (Monday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

What. An. Asshole.

FTG!


BW then 46, STBXWHNPDPAFTG the destroyer of my entire life.
D-Day 1 1999, D-Day 2,3,4,5,6... 2009 thru 2011.

Separated, divorcing, moving on.
I edit because I always make typos.


Posts: 1221 | Registered: Feb 2009 | From: California
cmego
♀ Member
Member # 30346
Default  Posted: 7:57 AM, September 16th (Monday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I'm so sorry this happened fraeuken. It sounds like he was "posturing" at the party...so he could deflect the fact that he is an asshole. Typical wayward behavior. The squealing out of the parking lot? More immature behavior, and probably pretty angry at himself, but it is masked in a "so what" attitude. I'm sure he saw his things outside your door and thought, "Whoa. OK. I guess she isn't taking me back." then they change into "well, I didn't want her anyway!" Therefore the immature behavior. Deflecting.

Try to be thankful that you found out who he is early. Your gut was telling you something was off...just cocoon and take care of yourself


me...BS, 43 years old, 2 small kids
WS, 41, multiple gay affairs
M 15 years, together 17
Divorced

"For whatever we lose, like a you or a me, it's always ourselves we find in the sea" ee cummings


Posts: 4186 | Registered: Dec 2010 | From: South
shiloe
♀ Member
Member # 1224
Default  Posted: 8:34 AM, September 16th (Monday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I am so sorry that happened to you. I might have ripped him a new one right there. Let everyone there know what a lying asshole his is.

You should have put Viagra-looking placebo's in his bottle and gave it back to him


But remember, good love is hard to find . . -Tom Petty and the Heartbreakers
BS - 54
Cheater -54
Married 26 yrs
DD - 21 DD -19 DS-17
A#1 2000 with married ho-worker/neighbor ow#1
A#2 2007-? OW#2 LTA with yet another married ho-worker. Kicked h

Posts: 615 | Registered: Mar 2003
missherlots
♂ Member
Member # 30591
Default  Posted: 9:06 AM, September 16th (Monday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Do not let the anger take over in you heart. Remember that everything has a begining and an end.
this is the end of another chapter in your life. Fill your heart with love and kindness from whatever you believe in.
He is disfuncional, not you. Don't become bitter and take his place in limbo.
clear you mind from any bad feelings before it becomes part of you. Accept the fact he is gone and thats all. Value yourself and fill your heart with awarness, live it and let it go.
Love, happiness, sadness, etc is a choice if we do not attach to them. Choose whatever you want to feel and work on it.
We all love you here and will care for you always.

My two cents


Pain and suffering is part of life, but I choose to feel love and compassion for all people excluding no one.

Posts: 96 | Registered: Jan 2011
She11ybeanz
♀ Member
Member # 27457
Default  Posted: 10:05 AM, September 16th (Monday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I am really tempted to flush his Viagra down the toilet..

TOTALLY! That's not any worse than me CLEANING under the lid of the toilet with my XWH's toothbrush!!!


"Sometimes your knight in shining armor ...is just a douchebag in tin foil!!"

ME - BW - 35
HIM - XWH - 39
D day: November 15th, 2009
Married: 5 Years, together 8
Divorced: December 13th, 2010
New Beginning: Piper/8-3-12


Posts: 2724 | Registered: Feb 2010 | From: Virginia
fraeuken
♀ Member
Member # 30742
Default  Posted: 10:07 AM, September 16th (Monday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Shellybeanz, great minds think alike. I did that too way back when I found XH's condoms in his overnight bag...


Temporarily independent with the whole world at my feet.

Posts: 1260 | Registered: Jan 2011 | From: California
EvenKeel
♀ Member
Member # 24210
Default  Posted: 10:16 AM, September 16th (Monday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I am so sorry - what a crappy thing to have happen!!!!

Viagra - Yep - substituting tic-tacs would of been funny.

Toothbrush - I remember my mom brushing the dog's teeth with my father's toothbrush.


Eyes are useless if the mind is blind.


Posts: 2181 | Registered: May 2009 | From: Pa
fraeuken
♀ Member
Member # 30742
Default  Posted: 10:17 AM, September 16th (Monday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I thought I wasn't letting this get to me so much, but apparently I do.

I barely slept and when I fell asleep my disturbing dreams woke me up. I relieved yesterday over and over again. I feel like just wanting to crawl under a blanket and shut the world out. Tears making their way through my attempts not to cry. When I got up this morning, my anxiety set in like I haven't had it in a long time. Dry heaves, chills, sweating, heart racing.

Fortunately I have to teach this afternoon, 3 hours of not thinking just focusing on my English student.

I know I will pull out of this much faster than before. But the pain and somehow the shame of rejection is just as intense.

This will be a long day, can't wait to pull up to school this afternoon and see DD11 all excited to see me.


Temporarily independent with the whole world at my feet.

Posts: 1260 | Registered: Jan 2011 | From: California
nutmegkitty
♀ Member
Member # 33882
Default  Posted: 10:21 AM, September 16th (Monday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

oh honey, I'm so sorry :(


me (BS)
him (NPD Ex)
2 dds
DDay 10/7/11
OW
OC

Divorced 1/17/2013

"Diamonds aren't a girl's best friend, freedom is."


Posts: 2601 | Registered: Nov 2011 | From: MA
She11ybeanz
♀ Member
Member # 27457
Default  Posted: 12:46 PM, September 16th (Monday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Shellybeanz, great minds think alike. I did that too way back when I found XH's condoms in his overnight bag...

Yep...scrub scrub scrub!!!

Little did he know that Crest wasn't responsible for his pearly whites..... but they probably were tidy bowl fresh!!!

Toothbrush - I remember my mom brushing the dog's teeth with my father's toothbrush.

((BIGHUGZ)) Everything will be okay...

[This message edited by She11ybeanz at 12:48 PM, September 16th (Monday)]


"Sometimes your knight in shining armor ...is just a douchebag in tin foil!!"

ME - BW - 35
HIM - XWH - 39
D day: November 15th, 2009
Married: 5 Years, together 8
Divorced: December 13th, 2010
New Beginning: Piper/8-3-12


Posts: 2724 | Registered: Feb 2010 | From: Virginia
Bebba1171
♂ Member
Member # 33857
Default  Posted: 2:33 PM, September 16th (Monday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

That really stinks Frau. What a mean man.

I may need that Viagra sometime in the next few years!


Divorced by Interlocutory decree in May 2012. WW had an affair with a 66 yo doctor she worked for.
D-Day Sept 16. 2011.
BH- 52 (Me) / XWW 50 - ages back in 2011
Two great kids that don't deserve this!

Posts: 727 | Registered: Nov 2011 | From: USA
fraeuken
♀ Member
Member # 30742
Default  Posted: 3:04 PM, September 16th (Monday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Bebba, nothing wrong with Viagra. I had more fun than ever in that department


Temporarily independent with the whole world at my feet.

Posts: 1260 | Registered: Jan 2011 | From: California
CheaterMagnet
♀ Member
Member # 33581
Default  Posted: 3:50 PM, September 16th (Monday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Fraeuken,

I am so very sorry. That seems such a small thing to say, but that's really all there is.

You are a lovely, warm, intelligent, giving person. His perceived "rejection" of you is actually a gift. He is saving you from another long term relationship with a liar and a coward. You know that the issues are his and not a reflection on you. You also know that nothing you could have done or not done would have changed who he is at the fundamental level.

I know none of this eases the pain. I wish I could hug you in real life. And I'd love to give him a piece of my mind.

(((((((HUGS)))))))


If Happy Ever After did exist, I would still be holding you like this.
All those fairly tales are full of shit.
One more fucking love song I'll be sick. ~ Maroon 5

Posts: 1037 | Registered: Oct 2011 | From: Kailua-Kona, HI
InnerLight
♀ Member
Member # 19946
Default  Posted: 4:08 PM, September 16th (Monday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

What an ass! I think that sepsis ate up his brain!

T/J Meds down the toilet make me cringe. It gets in our water and fishes to babies drink it down eventually causing many health issues. It's a big problem. Last thing you want to hear in your pain, but I didn't realize so many other people didn't already know. End T/J

His jackass behavior has nothing to do with your deserving. And I applaud you for your excellent NC and self care. I am so sorry for the pain. There is a withdrawal reaction like a drug for touch. Massage is a good option.


BS, age 53, d-day 6-2-08, divorced after 17 years and 20 together. Now I am living alone in the beautiful rural property that was once the dream retreat with X. It's taking a long time to create new dreams but despite some struggles I am mostly happy.

Posts: 5862 | Registered: Jun 2008 | From: Rural California
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