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User Topic: I think he actually likes talking about the A?
naivewife
♀ Member
Member # 38375
Default  Posted: 9:28 AM, September 16th (Monday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

WH is and always has been a talker. But what's kind of blowing me away is that I get the sense he likes to talk about the A, even? At times, he'll say things like, "I was enjoying not talking or thinking about it, but go ahead and ask your questions." But more often than not, we'll be having a nice day, not focusing on it at all, and he'll blurt out something stupid like "Man, what would you do if she showed up at our door someday?" That was what he said while we were out for a really nice walk with our kids last night. Just that morning we had a huge discussion and talked about how we wanted to move past the actual A and start working on us as individuals and a couple, and no longer obsess about OW. And then he blurts that out. This is not the first time, by any means. Is this normal? I read so much about how getting WS to talk about the A is like pulling teeth, but here, if I manage to go 5 or 6 hours without bringing it up then he does! Anyway, anyone else experience this? Why would a WS want to keep bringing it up?


D-day #1 - 1/23/13
false R, then...
D-day #2 - 3/26/13
I will come for the benefit of the sick, remaining free of all intentional injustice, of all mischief and in particular of sexual relations with both female and male persons. - Hippocratic Oath

Posts: 342 | Registered: Feb 2013
Kierst13
♀ Member
Member # 39197
Default  Posted: 9:35 AM, September 16th (Monday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

It sounds to me like he is still obsessed with her. My jaded mind thinks he likes to talk about the affair because then he gets to think and reminisce about her. She appears to be in his thoughts a lot.


Story in my profile
He lied, I gave the gift of R
He became the model remorseful WS...all while lying and seeing her
Am I done? Yes I am!

Posts: 347 | Registered: May 2013
naivewife
♀ Member
Member # 38375
Default  Posted: 9:37 AM, September 16th (Monday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

It sounds to me like he is still obsessed with her. My jaded mind thinks he likes to talk about the affair because then he gets to think and reminisce about her. She appears to be in his thoughts a lot.

Ugh, that's what I was afraid of.


D-day #1 - 1/23/13
false R, then...
D-day #2 - 3/26/13
I will come for the benefit of the sick, remaining free of all intentional injustice, of all mischief and in particular of sexual relations with both female and male persons. - Hippocratic Oath

Posts: 342 | Registered: Feb 2013
ionlytalkedtoher
♀ Member
Member # 39802
Default  Posted: 9:37 AM, September 16th (Monday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

yeah, he is still obsessing. she is on his mind.

my husband would randomly bring up ow like that. Turns out--she probably had just emailed or texted him. they were still in cahoots together.

is it possible he is still secretly with her ?


Posts: 262 | Registered: Jul 2013
Merlin
♂ Member
Member # 30221
Default  Posted: 9:40 AM, September 16th (Monday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I am convinced that many waywards, because they are that 'broken', needed the drama of an affair to feel anything at all. The heartbreak and destruction that follows is not something they could or would ever want to imagine. The harm they do does not interest or concern them, only the drama.

So perhaps talking freely about it now is a way to keep the drama going?


"I never saw a wild thing sorry for itself. A bird will fall frozen dead from a bough without ever having felt sorry for itself." D. H. Lawrence

Her: WW/57 Me: BS/63 24yrs M
3 great kids, now 22, 20, 17 b,b,g
D-Day 8/14/08, D 1/13/11


Posts: 1164 | Registered: Nov 2010 | From: East Coast
Topic Posts: 5

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