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Newest Member: wwfsmd (44889)

Divorce/Separation Post Reply     Print Topic    
User Topic: Facebook relationship,status update?
FoolontheHill
♂ Member
Member # 40225
Default  Posted: 10:33 AM, September 16th (Monday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I posted this over I the general forum but thought that this would be the better place. So here goes.


STBXWW left about 3 weeks ago. She seems to be carrying on woth her friends as if nothing is happening. I want to change my Facebook relationship status so that all our mutual friends see it but I'm not sure it's a good idea. She is unstable bordeline personality disorder and I'm afraid it will send her off.
She has already reneged on her promis to keep paying formthe car I leased her and now I'm stuck with a car lease I'm trying to get out of. I'm pretty sure her boyfriend bought her a new car.
I need the divorce to go reasonably smoothly.
Anyone deal with this before?


Me BH 46
WW 42

Dday 1: 10/20/2010 -- 3 month physical affair
Dday2: 7/7/2013 -- 3 year emotional affair but I think it was more.


Posts: 83 | Registered: Aug 2013 | From: Florida
Nature_Girl
♀ Member
Member # 32554
Default  Posted: 11:04 AM, September 16th (Monday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

You know how when someone changes their FB status and FB puts an announcement on everyone's News Feed: So 'n So is in a relationship! So 'n so is engaged!

Know those announcements?

FB doesn't make those announcements when you separate or get divorced. If you change your status no one is alerted. No news feed posts. Nothing even shows up on your Wall. So if you need to change your status to Separated, do it.

But don't start trying to manage other people's lives by warning them about your WW via FB. That's taking things a step too far. It's one thing to send a PM to someone. It's something else to craft a status update with a blanket warning about your mental WW.


Me = BS (Stay-at-home-mom)
Him = EX-d out (abusive troglodyte NPD SA)
3 tween-aged kids
Together 20 years
D-Day: Memorial Weekend 2011
2013 - I DIVORCED HIM, I'M FREE!
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=RBOJpIwF47Y

Posts: 9633 | Registered: Jun 2011 | From: USA
Snapdragon
♀ Member
Member # 4286
Default  Posted: 11:09 AM, September 16th (Monday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Just remove the status altogether. Let it be blank. Those that know you well know the nature of your status. As for everyone else.... nobody's business.


Divorced - recovered and hoping to help.

"We're not broken, just bent, and we can learn to love again" ~Pink


Posts: 3080 | Registered: May 2004 | From: Midwest
overcoming2003
♀ Member
Member # 30862
Default  Posted: 11:18 AM, September 16th (Monday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I agree with NG. FB is NOT the place to air your laundry or put your business out there. My husband wants no one to know that we are separated. Why? I don't know and I don't care. However, for my own personal reasons, I feel that FB isn't the place for it. BUT if someone PM (inboxes) me and asks...I won't lie.

Finally, I also feel that you open up a can of worms when you blindside her like that in such a public setting. When the time is right, IF it comes up with certain friends and you want to tell them, then tell them. Otherwise, leave it alone on FB.


Posts: 314 | Registered: Jan 2011
SBB
♀ Member
Member # 35229
Default  Posted: 3:51 PM, September 16th (Monday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Just remove the status altogether. Let it be blank. Those that know you well know the nature of your status. As for everyone else.... nobody's business.

^^THIS. Changing it to Separated does do result in a notification.

Slight t/j The sad clown changed his within days of DD and later told me he was upset that only 2 people reached out to him. I made mine blank a few weeks later once everyone knew (I had told them in person). Earlier this year I had loads of calls one day because he posted some sort of vent (I wouldn't let anyone tell me what it said). It made him look so foolish. I have been commended many times for holding my head high.

Trust me on this - NOT airing your dirty laundry on FB will serve you well in future When you are far away from feeling how you feel know you'll be glad that you took the high road.


I may have reached a point where I'd piss on him if he was on fire.... eventually!!

Posts: 5548 | Registered: Apr 2012 | From: Australia
Topic Posts: 5

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