I agree that all those fabulous lives could be financed by a mountain of debt, and I see all my 20-something friends on FB getting married and having kids, but you were the first one out of the box on that front, and now you've been there, done that, and that shirt no longer fits.
What are you grateful for in your life kittykat? Love? Companionship? Lack of debt?
Make a list and then go out and have a nice cocktail with SO to celebrate your fabulousness.
35 is a great age. I'm 60. I should know.
[This message edited by FaithFool at 7:37 PM, September 17th (Tuesday)]
My goal is to do more now!
Above all, be the heroine, not the victim. - Nora Ephron
It is our choices...that show what we truly are, far more than our abilities.
- J. K. Rowling
Many people in their 30ies seem to have it made just to fall apart in their 40ies because they are burned out, in debt, marriages ruined, their sweet kids not turning out to be so sweet after all. Never say never, you might have that house one day and might be happier than many of your friends because you made those decisions at an older age with more wisdom and life experience.
Look at me! I am a cute 44 year old who just got cheated on by her 66 year old boyfriend (turned out he was not 17 years my senior but 22 years my senior but it took me a while to figure out that lie) to be replaced with a 58 year old who does not hold a candle to me. If anybody deserves a pity-party it is me
And my apologies to all fellow SI-ler in their late 50s - not diminishing any attractiveness at that age, just saying this 58 year old dresses and looks the part and sports platin-blonde long hair which is not helping.
No matter what level of personal wealth you attain, there will always be more to want. That is what we have been trained to want.
Gratitude is about breaking out of that mindset and it's hard work to ignore the messages coming at us every second of the day.
The truth is that all this stuff costs a lot of money, and raising kids is horrifically expensive. Add in student loans, big mortgages and the expense of a two or three car household and the nut required to keep all the balls in the air gets out of control and then there's no going back...
I've learned to love simplicity. It's way more satisfying IMO.
*speaking as someone who no longer owns a car or real estate and has a 20-year-old bike and a bus pass*
[This message edited by FaithFool at 8:21 AM, September 18th (Wednesday)]
At least you have a paycheck.
For now. I am currently seeking a new job. My industry (health insurance) is in a state of upheaval right now and I don't think my job is safe anymore. I'm pretty sure my job will be outsourced overseas soon.
But, we aren't. Yeah, he has a good job...that takes him away ALL the time. And, we have a cute little house...that we both really hate. We'd give about anything to be renting an apartment or house right now, but, 5 identical houses in our neighborhood are already for sale, for less than we'd be able to list ours, so, we are stuck.We are living close to paycheck to paycheck.
So, yeah, definitely don't compare yourself to others. Things aren't always as rosy as they seem.
It will all be ok in the end. If it's not ok, it's not the end
Happily remarried to a wonderful man (Aussie). I think I found the right guy and the right finger this time.
I do get into these pity parties too, but I try to keep in mind that things could definitely be much worse and even though we feel like we are at the bottom, that means the only place we can go is UP!
And do not compare yourself to others--you don't know what's the real deal. There are a WHOLE lot of fakers out there...
But--(always a but, isn't there?) I also had a lying, cheating husband, debt out the wazoo, little girls who hardly ever saw their father because he was always "working", I was stressed to the max trying to get everything done--I'm sure you get the picture. But hey--we looked good from the outside.
As long as you're happy--don't let those other people--or what they have or do, steal your sunshine.
It feels like everyone around me is buying houses and having families and advancing their awesome careers.
Yeah and peel back the curtain & noone's life is perfect. Who knows some may envy your freedom and your relctionship?
Heck I am 53 as of last Monday and just getting started. Hell I didn't run my 1st marathon til I was 47!! I will let you know when I hit middle aged
Go out and celebrate another year on the planet. Make a grand plan of what you'd like to accomplish this year. Then make a realistic one. Toast your strength. Revel in the beauty of your relationship and ignore how others are trying to define it.
Last October I got married. In Hawaii. To the best man who ever crossed my path. We bought an amazing house. We got an awesome dog. So I had the boy, the bling, and the bark. Have my job paying good money and my boss thinks Im the best employee out of a hundred. Life on paper seriously couldnt get any better..
You know what? Life goes on... just as I always had before I got married! Almost nothing has changed just because I got married. Every day when I had been so pitying and upset about being behind everyone else is just a tiny memory now - cause you're going to move on to a whole different set of issues to deal with.
This moment is as real and good as its gonna get. Don't miss out on it. In what feels like just a few moments from now, you'll be living the life you think you should have now.. but you're going to wish you cared a little less, partied a little more, and wished didn't waste a single breathe more on worrying on what should be.
Wishing you the best birthday week!
I am planning to spend my staycation doing things that make me feel good about life.
"Sometimes it takes a good fall to know where you really stand."
When it comes down to it, the simple life is the way to go for me.
Be happy, and be happy with what you have. Really, nothing lasts forever.
Except freakin' taxes!!
They were right about you.
You could be 53, like me. Now that's middle age! My career has been on hold due to kid illness and my H's A. And I've been rethinking what I want to be when I grow up.
(I refuse to be a senior citizen until I'm 70. At least.)
Happy birthday! Party on!
[This message edited by StrongerOne at 11:35 AM, October 3rd (Thursday)]