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I Can Relate     Print Topic    
User Topic: Betrayed Men - Part 14
Razor
♂ Member
Member # 16345
Default  Posted: 3:57 PM, September 19th (Thursday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Song lyrics. speak of opening a can of worms. I like this one. For me it kinda says it all.

Song name SORRY

When your time on the mountain is over
And you fall to the earth like a leaf
It won't be enough this time to say sorry
Sorry won't pay for this grief

Chorus:
You may lay your guilt on the altar
Nail your remorse to the cross
But it's not enough this time to say sorry
Sorry won't pay for this loss

And if the blood on your hands turns to water
And the night in your soul turns to day
It won't be enough this time to say sorry
Sorry won't wash it all away

(Chorus)

When you're through with the spells you've been spinning
And your hopes and your dreams have all died
It won't be enough this time to say sorry
Sorry won't turn back the tide

(Chorus)

And if you should desist from deceiving
And if you confess to the crime
It won't be enough this time to say sorry
Sorry won't save you this time

(Chorus 2x)


Forgive and forget = Relive and regret.


Posts: 3086 | Registered: Sep 2007
1985
♂ Member
Member # 28171
Default  Posted: 4:37 PM, September 19th (Thursday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I also get a lot out of music.
For those of you fairly new to the trauma of the A, listen to Back On My Feet Again by Michael Bolton.
A song that I appreciate now, and for those who are Reconciled or well on the road to it, try Bolton's That's What Love Is About.


Me-BH 63
Her-fWW 63
DDay: June 1985. 5 years after A ended
DDay June, 1985
DDay June 1985
Still married - actually in love
2 grown kids; 4 grandkids

Posts: 589 | Registered: Apr 2010 | From: Midwest - large city
DefiledRage
♂ Member
Member # 39292
Default  Posted: 5:02 PM, September 19th (Thursday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

1985,
Sorry cant help myself but this Michael Bolton?


Me:35 WW:34 M:13yrs
3 young children
Dday 1 EA 7/8/2010
Dday 2 PA 3/1/2013 same OMM for 4yrs

Mister rabbit says, "A moment of realization is worth a thousand prayers."


Posts: 427 | Registered: May 2013 | From: Two blocks from south shit and west hell
1985
♂ Member
Member # 28171
Default  Posted: 5:06 PM, September 19th (Thursday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

DR -- no, I think not that one. Whoever the guy is in your posting, he is not the same one.


Me-BH 63
Her-fWW 63
DDay: June 1985. 5 years after A ended
DDay June, 1985
DDay June 1985
Still married - actually in love
2 grown kids; 4 grandkids

Posts: 589 | Registered: Apr 2010 | From: Midwest - large city
DefiledRage
♂ Member
Member # 39292
Default  Posted: 5:11 PM, September 19th (Thursday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Office Space, awesome movie, you should check it out, cubicle humor type stuff. Character's name is Michael Bolton, they give him hell for it.


Me:35 WW:34 M:13yrs
3 young children
Dday 1 EA 7/8/2010
Dday 2 PA 3/1/2013 same OMM for 4yrs

Mister rabbit says, "A moment of realization is worth a thousand prayers."


Posts: 427 | Registered: May 2013 | From: Two blocks from south shit and west hell
RyeBread
♂ Member
Member # 37437
Default  Posted: 5:16 PM, September 19th (Thursday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

DR,
Hilarious

1985, Office Space is a must see


Let him that would move the world first move himself. - Socrates

Posts: 957 | Registered: Nov 2012 | From: Midwest
DefiledRage
♂ Member
Member # 39292
Default  Posted: 5:20 PM, September 19th (Thursday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I could beat him within an inch of his life and he could still look at me and say: "I still fucked your wife."

I'm sure thats what he would say or at least be thinking. Like he just won the a pissing match. I mean how hard is it really to get a chick to sleep with you. Go to a bar and start buying drinks you could get it done tonight. One of the easiest things in life to do is get laid. Poser thinking there, set the bar high, the greatest accomplishment he will ever achieve in life is bagging my ww. Color me not impressed, I do that on a fairly regular basis, don't consider it much of an accomplishment. I aim a little higher for something to hang my hat on as my life's work. I have bigger and better things to do.

ETA.....
Just wanted to add, if I vacuum the carpets before she comes home my on days off, guess whats going to happen, that's right I'm banging headboards. He had to put a helluva lot more work into getting her into the sack than I ever have. So if I accomplish something without much effort and he has to dedicate all his free time to it, who wins?

[This message edited by DefiledRage at 6:45 PM, September 19th (Thursday)]


Me:35 WW:34 M:13yrs
3 young children
Dday 1 EA 7/8/2010
Dday 2 PA 3/1/2013 same OMM for 4yrs

Mister rabbit says, "A moment of realization is worth a thousand prayers."


Posts: 427 | Registered: May 2013 | From: Two blocks from south shit and west hell
Sal1995
♂ Member
Member # 39099
Default  Posted: 6:14 PM, September 19th (Thursday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Love the movie and the gif, DR. Do you have a gif of the annoying woman who walked by Bolton's cubicle? For those not familiar with the movie, that would explain the sour look on his face. It would piss anyone off.

"I still fucked your wife."

I guess a POSER can always say that. But hey, I've fucked her many more times than he ever will, and didn't have to sneak around like a coward for the privilege. If POSER was a real man, he would have called me out the day after the affair started and fought for the lurvvvve of his life. But he's kept a safe distance from me.

I made an honest woman out of her. He enabled her to be a dishonest woman. A broken, distraught, and deeply regretful woman. Or as she put it recently: "mortified and ashamed." Well played, POSER. I'm sure your mother's proud of you. Bottom line: POSERS have no code, no honor, no dignity, and no self-respect. They're just living a lie, same as your WW. And that's just the way it is, ass-whipping or no ass-whipping. POSER on his best day isn't half the man I am. And every guy on this board can say the same damn thing.

[This message edited by Sal1995 at 6:22 PM, September 19th (Thursday)]


Me-45
WW-42
DDay 2/17/13, 10 month PA/EA
Final NC late Feb. '13
M - 18 years, together 19+
4 children

Reconciled


Posts: 1035 | Registered: Apr 2013 | From: Texas
StillGoing
♂ Member
Member # 28571
Default  Posted: 6:19 PM, September 19th (Thursday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

eta:

Doh, wrong one. Here:

[This message edited by StillGoing at 6:22 PM, September 19th (Thursday)]


“Fate is a fickle bitch who dotes on irony.”

Posts: 7116 | Registered: May 2010 | From: USA
foundoutlater
♂ Member
Member # 32900
Default  Posted: 6:53 PM, September 19th (Thursday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Man you guys move fast around here. Tred went on an island vacation and a ton of other shit

@ wonderboy – damn fine first page again (and I kind of like the Kramer turkey on BM13).

@WAL – I didn’t see any fluster about the childrns – I guess all is good – congrats on integrating them into your life (or integrating you into theirs probably)


"I still fucked your wife."

Yeah I really don’t care anymore. The POSER fucked a lot of people (literally and figuratively). But he fucked himself the worst. I would not want to be him or anything like him. I did care for awhile and the anger was intense to deal with. What I really care about is “my wife fucked POSER”. That actually matters to me. So far she has given me good reason to work through this shit and also some of my own.


Your beliefs don’t make you a better person, your behavior does.

Posts: 1062 | Registered: Jul 2011
SuperDuperWonderboy
♂ Member
Member # 34716
Default  Posted: 7:06 PM, September 19th (Thursday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I loved my turkey. Thanks!

As far as the POSER. I don't really waste my time with him anymore. He's a dipshit that fucked up his marriage and his family. He didn't know me though. My wife on the other hand, she knew me, she knew everything that we had been through over 14 years. She knew her kids, my love for her, my love of the family. She is the one who threw that shit right out the window like a worthless piece of garbage.

I think that for a while, I used my anger at him to deflect the rage that I felt at my wife. Easier to have him as a target than to face what my wife had knowingly done to me and our family.

Now though, I don't really harbor any anger towards him. Hell, I hope he gets his shit together and fixes his life. His wife seemed like a really sweet person. His kids don't deserve to come from a broken home. So yup, I am rooting for him to fix his shit and I sincerely hope his marriage works out.

Of course if he breaks NC or comes after my wife...well, I'll tear his heart out.


My Friends call me Wonderboy--That's Mr. SuperduperWonderboy to you Tred.


Posts: 1267 | Registered: Feb 2012 | From: Everett
ontheslope
♂ Member
Member # 40574
Default  Posted: 7:15 PM, September 19th (Thursday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Love the office space reference. I have an actual TPS report at my desk at work. And a coworker has a red swingline stapler. Classic.

I think my anger has been towards the OM mainly, but you are right. I think really it was my wife's decision to basically foresake the marriage that riles me up so much. Or it should. But I think that I deflected a lot of that anger on to him.

I'm still kind of new here and learning all of the acronyms. .. can someone clue me in to what POSER means? Based on context I get what it is referring to sort of. But... all I keep thinking is "Piece of shit something something"

Little help?


Me: BH, 35
Her: WW, 36
Two girls 7 & 10
Married 12 years
Dday: July, 2009

She wants answers... I'm still trying to figure out what the questions are.


Posts: 255 | Registered: Sep 2013 | From: Maine, USA
SuperDuperWonderboy
♂ Member
Member # 34716
Default  Posted: 7:17 PM, September 19th (Thursday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

POSER has evolved over the course of about 3 menz threads.

It actually refers to Piece Of Shit Ensign Rivera.

Tough to explain. But it start out as a reference to the redshirted Star Trek characters who always got killed. Then it sort of evolved. (see page 1 for images of redshirts dying).

POSER is now just a nickname for the douchebag other guy.

[This message edited by wonderboy at 7:18 PM, September 19th (Thursday)]


My Friends call me Wonderboy--That's Mr. SuperduperWonderboy to you Tred.


Posts: 1267 | Registered: Feb 2012 | From: Everett
DefiledRage
♂ Member
Member # 39292
Default  Posted: 8:25 PM, September 19th (Thursday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Since this seems to be a reoccurring question from time to time I created the POSER explanation template. So without further ado...

***The Evolution of POSER***

How can I make an educated decision when I haven't been educated on the full extent of the betrayal.

Capt. Kirk: Spock, give me an update on the dark area ahead.
Mr. Spock: No analysis due to insufficient information.
Capt. Kirk: No speculation, no information, nothing? I've asked you three times for information on that thing and you've been unable to supply it. Insufficient data is not sufficient, Mr. Spock! You're the science officer. You're supposed to have sufficient data all the time.

That's me right now, an infidelity science officer.

Curious Captain
My WW's POSOM appeared to have been wearing a red shirt.

red shirted by a dikironium cloud creature.
Just how satisfying would it be to issue the OM a red uniform then send him on a landing party knowing there's a 73% chance he ain't making it back. ahhh sweet justice.
FYI googled the percentage of red shirt deaths, I'm not that geeky!

As if the only one Ensign Rivera would lie to is his wife?

There is no actual "Ensign Rivera". That was the fictitious name we would assign to the anonymous guy in the Star Trek episodes who never made it back.

I don't think there was ever an actual Ensign Rivera in the show....and at least one point in my pop culture circle anyone who was referred to as "Ensign Rivera" was someone tagged as not worth it, an extra, along for the ride, insert your definition here, and the best thing about it was he usually died a messy death and then was forgotten. Therefore, in my post, instead of writing AP, I chose to write "Ensign Rivera". So from now on, I think I'll refer to the AP as Ensign Rivera.

Ensign Rivera (ER)- I am running with this, full-fledged. You know why? Because 'POSER' is so much more accurate than 'POSOM'

And hence the birth of POSER.

Disclaimer: The names have been removed to protect the innocent


Me:35 WW:34 M:13yrs
3 young children
Dday 1 EA 7/8/2010
Dday 2 PA 3/1/2013 same OMM for 4yrs

Mister rabbit says, "A moment of realization is worth a thousand prayers."


Posts: 427 | Registered: May 2013 | From: Two blocks from south shit and west hell
LosferWords
♂ Guide
Member # 30369
Default  Posted: 8:35 PM, September 19th (Thursday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I can hardly keep up with you guys!

slater - Best of luck to you with the timeline/MC tomorrow. Let us know how it goes.

ontheslope - I've struggled with the same thing, focusing the bulk of my anger on the OM. It's almost like directing all that anger at my wife is going against my nature. The key is to do it in a productive and healthy way.

Grilla - Really good to see you make your way down here, man. Definitely keep posting in the other forums as well. Good to get support from all sides. Especially this early out.

DR - Nice POSER template!!

Really enjoyed all the song lyrics. Music is a huge part of my life, and has been helpful throughout this experience. I've used "The Cave" by Mumford and Sons to help me through thoughts of reconciliation. I've used "Always" by Switchfoot to help me reframe the memory of my son's birth in my mind and be happy about that day once again. Those are the two biggies for me. Music is a powerful thing, my friends.


Posts: 4557 | Registered: Dec 2010
aesir
♂ Member
Member # 17210
Default  Posted: 8:54 PM, September 19th (Thursday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

And then there is the wonderful Family Guy Ensign Ricky scene.

Kirk: "All right, men. This is a dangerous mission. And it's likely one of us will be killed. The landing party will consist of myself, Mr. Spock, Dr. McCoy, and Ensign Ricky."

Ricky: "Ah, crap."

[This message edited by aesir at 8:54 PM, September 19th (Thursday)]


Your mileage may vary... in accordance with the prophecy.

Do not back up. Severe tire damage.


Posts: 14924 | Registered: Nov 2007 | From: Winnipeg
sunsetslost
♂ Member
Member # 39885
Default  Posted: 8:55 PM, September 19th (Thursday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Had a house showing this evening. Keep your fingers crossed for me. This old house is the only thing keeping me from FREEDOM!


D Day: 6/13/13
Moving on. Every Single Day.

Posts: 493 | Registered: Jul 2013
h0peless
♂ Member
Member # 36697
Default  Posted: 9:09 PM, September 19th (Thursday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Wishing you luck, sunsets. Mine shortselling was a huge relief for me, both financially and emotionally. Unfortunately, I'm currently living with my mother and her POSER husband due to excessive dog fighting in the place I originally moved to but that's a temporary thing.

Posts: 1323 | Registered: Sep 2012 | From: Arizona
sunsetslost
♂ Member
Member # 39885
Default  Posted: 9:18 PM, September 19th (Thursday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Thanks h0peless. I've got a condo in FL, right on Tampa Bay waiting for me. My grandfather bought it a million years ago and my uncle has lived there the last 25 years. He wants to buy a house. It's mine when I can get out of here. New state, new start. Truth be told, I'm comfortable here. Without WW's bullshit spending habits I'm actually saving money. If I'm here all winter so be it. I can't control it so I won't worry about it.


D Day: 6/13/13
Moving on. Every Single Day.

Posts: 493 | Registered: Jul 2013
jjct
♂ Member
Member # 17484
Default  Posted: 9:23 PM, September 19th (Thursday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Music's actually too powerful for me, and why I till fields of poetry. Even then, I have to be careful what my eyes see. It's safe for now - to read Emily Dickinson's diary.

When my ears take in the wordless things, like Mozart's Figaro, heh, the Marriage of Figaro, I hear joy, unreal genius joy.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8OZCyp-LcGw
I read that he wrote everything - everything he wrote, just once. No corrections.

I try to brush up against these things to stay well. God rested after all on the 7th day because he heard Beethoven's 6th, describing his creation without words.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=iMJPZ-mu-Ts


Posts: 6023 | Registered: Dec 2007 | From: texas
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