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I Can Relate     Print Topic    
User Topic: Betrayed Men - Part 14
foundoutlater
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Default  Posted: 1:47 PM, September 24th (Tuesday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I like the shoe analogy.

Can`t think of an equivalent analogy for to explain WH`s, but here I don`t have to.

I was thinking cars but that just fell apart IDK. The handguns or beer fall apart for me because of the required self-restraint to use them responsibly.

So if the issue is self-destruction at launch the could the solution be a longer launch pad? If there is a limit on how much space to use it would seem that something that goes round and round would work – like a discuss throw? But then I guess g-force would be your limit. IDK I don’t need explosions to get excited – just a shit load of force to chunk that thing ya know.


Your beliefs don’t make you a better person, your behavior does.

Posts: 1058 | Registered: Jul 2011
doubleboggy
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Default  Posted: 1:53 PM, September 24th (Tuesday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

We have PhD quality analysis going on in this thread. Guarantee the POSER Club doesn’t have enough brain power to figure out how to get their shoes on the right feet much less the deep secrets of the universe that this thread tackles.


I have became what I have beheld and am content that I have done right. - Elliot Ness

Posts: 82 | Registered: Sep 2013
Sal1995
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Default  Posted: 1:57 PM, September 24th (Tuesday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Regarding the whole alpha/beta discussion, I think it's an interesting theory but you can find plenty of examples on this board alone that don't fit that mold. Think of Betrayed444's WW's OM, a squirrelly little punk who pissed in his pants when confronted by B444.

I don't think anyone IRL thinks of me as a "beta." OM was kind of a stereotypical bad boy - blue collar, tattooed, divorced, muscular, chases women in dance clubs every weekend. That would fit some's definition of an "alpha" I guess, while others would look upon him as anything but. Alpha implies leadership, respect from other men, having followers, being a top dog, etc. As far as I know he doesn't lead any other men, just their WWs out onto the dance floor after smooth talking them up one side and down the other. I know many men who would laugh and sneer at someone whose life amounted to that.

OM almost by definition have to be "bad boys" - they are men who have no problem pursuing and screwing other men's wives, after all. If nothing else that puts them outside the boy scout category. There are examples of otherwise good men who gave into temptation and did things that were otherwise out of character. Those would be exceptions to the OM-bad boy rule. But many OM are just narcissistic opportunists imo, same as many of the OW. They see a chance to do something that gives them personal pleasure, to hell with anyone else who might get hurt in the process. Every city or village in this world has those people in them, we've been surrounded by them at least since Kindergarten. Some of us have them in our families, so we've been exposed to them since birth. They get mistaken for "alphas" because of their brazen behavior, but otherwise the label doesn't fit.

My MC/IC summed it up perfectly, I think. She said that we all are physically attracted to numerous people, that's really besides the point. "Love" is besides the point too (according to her), because we can be madly in love with someone and still be attracted to others. She said it comes down to a commitment we make to another, and having the character and integrity to honor that commitment. Someones character and integrity can be seriously skewed by a person's upbringing to the point where his or her concept of "normal" is very different from someone who grew up in a stable environment.

It could just be that many waywards cheat simply because they do not have the tools to do otherwise when temptation presents itself. If, as in my wife's case, at least two generations of family send you the consistent message throughout your life life that cheating is just what spouses do and marriages are meant to be destroyed, it's hard to see how she could be expected to make any other choice.

This is all hindsight, of course. Before 2/17/13 I never heard of the term "family of origin." I didn't mean to rain on anyone else's parade, but I think all of this alpha/beta thing is really just a way to kick ourselves for being good men who honor our marriages. For not being "exciting" enough (quick quiz - how many feel that their WWs were all that "exciting" before we found out they were cheaters? If being bored was an excuse to cheat, I would have started doing that myself around 2000).

Peace, brothers. Repeat this 3 times: It...isn't...about...you. She would have cheated on whoever she married, eventually, whether he was labeled alpha, beta, charlie or delta. It's her problem, and her problem to fix.


Me-45
WW-42
DDay 2/17/13, 10 month PA/EA
M for almost 18 years
4 kids

Reconciled


Posts: 1024 | Registered: Apr 2013 | From: Texas
ontheslope
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Default  Posted: 1:57 PM, September 24th (Tuesday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

The key with punkin' chunkin' is slowing the acceleration of the projectile sufficient that it doesn't implode. Given the inherent strength in a near sphere, even if it is made of vegetable matter, wind resistance alone isn't what is going to destroy the pumpkin.

So... be it trebuchet or slingshot or cannon or railgun... how do you obtain maximum speed while keeping the force on the projectile due to acceleration slow enough that it doesn't self destruct.

THAT's the key.


Me: BH, 35
Her: WW, 36
Two girls 7 & 10
Married 12 years
Dday: July, 2009

She wants answers... I'm still trying to figure out what the questions are.


Posts: 255 | Registered: Sep 2013 | From: Maine, USA
aesir
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Default  Posted: 2:04 PM, September 24th (Tuesday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Cars would be a good one except they have the obvious financial limitation. If shoes required 84 month financing I am sure most women would learn to get by with far fewer.

Beer is disposable, in fact one could even suggest that rather than purchased it is merely rented.

Handguns, except at the most superficial level of launching a projectile are designed for very different purposes.

Now back to launching projectiles.

So if the issue is self-destruction at launch the could the solution be a longer launch pad? If there is a limit on how much space to use it would seem that something that goes round and round would work – like a discuss throw? But then I guess g-force would be your limit. IDK I don’t need explosions to get excited – just a shit load of force to chunk that thing ya know.
It`s not so much an issue of destructing from the launch force as it is arresting the machines own kinetic energy after launch. In the case of the sabot, it has to be stopped within the machine after launch, which means that half the machine has to be dedicated to reversing the acceleration. In the case of a counterweight trebuchet, after launch the counterweight rises to absorb the kinetic energy, and rocks back and forth for a while until internal damping brings it to a rest, but a flywheel trebuchet could store and unleash immensely more force, only to slam the throwing arm into the ground on the other side shattering it into toothpicks unless there is a suitable method of arresting it. Disengaging the flywheel clutch at the launch point and then using slowing it by dumping energy somewhere else could work.

This may seem like a threadjack on the whole betrayed men concept here, but be honest, who here has not wanted to violently smash the shit out of something with medieval weaponry at some point.


Your mileage may vary... in accordance with the prophecy.

Do not back up. Severe tire damage.


Posts: 14924 | Registered: Nov 2007 | From: Winnipeg
Stillkicking
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Default  Posted: 2:08 PM, September 24th (Tuesday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Isn't that the core of the tremblesome RA that so many folks start worrying about roughly 3.7 seconds after D-Day? That the BS might just be more successful at trading up? That the BS might, in fact, might just be able to replace the WS rather easily, both physically and emotionally?

I am absolutely dealing with this as we speak right now, had a chat with someone on Facebook (nothing inappropriate or boundary crossing). She catches wind of it by logging into my Facebook and following the chat, that's fine I don't mind that, I don't have anything to hide anyways, it changes into how I have been sleeping with women for the past six months and how could I do this to us, and a bunch of other shit.
I asked her why this was such a big deal and why she is freaking out, tells me that "she knows how these things start remember, I had one of my own and it started as just friends". Remember it dear??? I lived that shit, I FUCKING SURVIVED that assault on my life.


A

And I can guaran-damn-tee you that those amongst us who *are* the Bad Boys who settled down just enough to try to provide that minimum of stability/fidelity their cheating wife demanded, got to hear about how *their* big failure that caused the A was lack of commitment/stability/selflessness that led to their WW fucking the dad of 4 kids office manager at the wife's job.

Got this last nigh too, asked her if she knew why she did it, it was because #24071 I wasn't there for her emotionally and #75912 because he listened to me and supported me.
Bit my tounge on those because she was actually talkin and answering questions for once and not starting a fight or walking away. Don't worry I will address those points with her shortly.


You'll never learn to fly
until your standing at the cliff

I reserve my right to feel uncomfortable reserve my right to be afraid.
I make mistakes and I am humbled every step of the way.


Posts: 126 | Registered: Jan 2013 | From: Canada
aesir
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Default  Posted: 2:12 PM, September 24th (Tuesday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Regarding the whole alpha/beta discussion, I think it's an interesting theory but you can find plenty of examples on this board alone that don't fit that mold. Think of Betrayed444's WW's OM, a squirrelly little punk who pissed in his pants when confronted by B444.
That`s a good reason for the use of the term POSER here. It is also a throwback to the 80`s reference to people who try really hard to appear to be what they are not. And don`t forget that some women also feel a draw to the SNAG (sensitive new age guy), though if he was a real SNAG rather than POSER snag, he would not mess with married women.

Not so sure alpha implies leadership of others so much as enough independent will not to blindly follow them.

So... be it trebuchet or slingshot or cannon or railgun... how do you obtain maximum speed while keeping the force on the projectile due to acceleration slow enough that it doesn't self destruct.
First you create a launcher that will cradle the pumpkin to evenly distribute the force over the entire surface, then you redefine the allowable force by freezing the pumpkin.

For the record, seven frozen medium pumpkins will stop a 12 gauge Federal 3" Magnum hollow point slug. Just sayin'.

[This message edited by aesir at 2:13 PM, September 24th (Tuesday)]


Your mileage may vary... in accordance with the prophecy.

Do not back up. Severe tire damage.


Posts: 14924 | Registered: Nov 2007 | From: Winnipeg
StillGoing
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Default  Posted: 2:14 PM, September 24th (Tuesday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

but a flywheel trebuchet could store and unleash immensely more force, only to slam the throwing arm into the ground on the other side shattering it into toothpicks unless there is a suitable method of arresting it.

Could raise it to a point where the arm clears the ground and supports and give it a slow brake?


“Fate is a fickle bitch who dotes on irony.”

Posts: 7081 | Registered: May 2010 | From: USA
foundoutlater
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Default  Posted: 2:14 PM, September 24th (Tuesday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Sal that was awesome.

It...isn't...about...you
.

Took awhile to think this than a whole lot longer to believe it. One of the few things I know to be true anymore. I don’t know if the rest fits everyone. It’s very possible my W would have messed around with POSER a bit and left that POSER behind when she was done. I think I had very unfortunate timing. But I think anyone who would have come along right then would have suffered the same fate with her.

OM almost by definition have to be "bad boys" - they are men who have no problem pursuing and screwing other men's wives, after all. If nothing else that puts them outside the boy scout category.

And that right there supports the genetic drift SG refers to. The POSER was not just a boy scout – he was an eagle scout. And it turns out this shit was not out of character – he was a hound who did three MOW I know of. Opportunist no doubt.

That just feels good. I can smile and type this shit out even when a truly sore chord is strung. Life does get better with time and work.


ETA - Trustworthy and Loyal are the first two Scout Laws. A person can be led to a good life, taught what is right and have good role models and still be a turd. This scares the crap out of me when I think about my kids. I guess what he was missing was good relationships. I can’t believe I’m trying to glean some knowledge from this.

[This message edited by foundoutlater at 2:23 PM, September 24th (Tuesday)]


Your beliefs don’t make you a better person, your behavior does.

Posts: 1058 | Registered: Jul 2011
7yrsflushed
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Default  Posted: 2:20 PM, September 24th (Tuesday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I'd prefer we start work on a teleportation device
This would be cool as well as the punkin chunkin but I vote for a time machine just so I could go back and slap the shit out of myself for not leaving right after Dday.


D-day 5/24/11
BH = Me
STBXWW = Her
2 children
The first true sense of calm I felt in YEARS was when I filed for D...
Separated 6/2013, D official around 6/2014

Posts: 1562 | Registered: May 2011
RyeBread
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Default  Posted: 2:36 PM, September 24th (Tuesday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Haha 7yrs...I thought time machine at first too. I just didn't want to be the one to start the whole space time continium discussion.


Let him that would move the world first move himself. - Socrates

Posts: 956 | Registered: Nov 2012 | From: Midwest
StillGoing
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Default  Posted: 2:45 PM, September 24th (Tuesday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

If I had a time machine I would use it to fuck with people. There's just too much broken shit to try to fix. I'd just be the time traveling prankster asshole. Like, I'd transport an aquatic dinosaur to Loch Ness for a few weeks so people could snatch grainy pictures, then send it into the distant future so it could make sure Star Trek IV happens. Make up all kinds of crazy shit like "WE ARE MADE OF FIRE AND DIRT EAT MOAR FIRE" and do shit like stick a sword in a stone, chisel "THIS IS MAGIC" on the rock and then make it so when someone pulls it out at random, it sends him forward in time to 1964, dressed as he was when he yanked the sword out. Preferably still holding it, in front of a police station.

Maybe I am too much of an asshole to be trusted with vast cosmic powers.


“Fate is a fickle bitch who dotes on irony.”

Posts: 7081 | Registered: May 2010 | From: USA
aesir
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Default  Posted: 2:46 PM, September 24th (Tuesday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

The trouble with teleporters is in the data transmission. A recent study concludes that the data required to transmit a person is 2.6x10**42 bits. At a transmission rate of 30 GHz it would take 350,000 times the current age of the universe. It appears that walking will be faster. To try and up the data rate would consume more power than is available.

Though I must confess, I don't know why we assume that data must be transmitted in serial rather than in parallel on multiple frequencies.

The time machine brings up a Sheldon like paradox discussion regarding if you go back and slap the shit out of yourself to change things, why are you going back to slap the shit out of yourself.


Your mileage may vary... in accordance with the prophecy.

Do not back up. Severe tire damage.


Posts: 14924 | Registered: Nov 2007 | From: Winnipeg
aesir
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Default  Posted: 2:47 PM, September 24th (Tuesday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Maybe I am too much of an asshole to be trusted with vast cosmic powers.
Or sharp sticks.


Your mileage may vary... in accordance with the prophecy.

Do not back up. Severe tire damage.


Posts: 14924 | Registered: Nov 2007 | From: Winnipeg
StillGoing
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Default  Posted: 2:48 PM, September 24th (Tuesday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Are the numbers for transmitting people based on every individual cell? Because it would be a lot easier to construct a template and transport identity necessities. Also I could add a couple inches to my dick, get a few teeth back. That would be cool.

eta:

As for the paradox involved, that assumes going back in time would alter the prior sequence that led to going back in time. If it's actually transporting your existing mass back through sequential time in the universe (which is i don't fucking know what how?) then it wouldn't be paradoxical because you would then be two separate and divergent entities, each with different memories that ultimately leads to different personalities. The problem at that point becomes what is going on with the rest of the universe and if you can go back to the future YES I USED THAT FUCKING PHRASE IN A SORT OF REAL CONVERSATION and not even so much would it be the same events sequence as when you slapped the shit out of yourself, but would you be there waiting for yourself when you got back? So I guess you could go back, change time, but leap forward and basically have cloned yourself except that You would each be divergent from the Slap Your Face event.

OTOH I think the way going back in time would actually work means rearranging every particle in the known universe to be exactly as it was at the desired point in time, and if you could do that then you're probably saying "Fuck this, what's THAT over THERE" and be checking out that unknown construct that's slowly eating our universe. Or make cosmic pumpkins or arrange constellations in the shape of boobs or something. The boob nebula. Heheh.

[This message edited by StillGoing at 2:55 PM, September 24th (Tuesday)]


“Fate is a fickle bitch who dotes on irony.”

Posts: 7081 | Registered: May 2010 | From: USA
7yrsflushed
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Default  Posted: 2:48 PM, September 24th (Tuesday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I just didn't want to be the one to start the whole space time continium discussion
Wait didn't we already have this discussion?? Damn, i'm in the punkin chunkin/rail gun timeline. I'm getting back in the time machine to mistakenly create some more timelines and slap the shit out of more versions of myself.


D-day 5/24/11
BH = Me
STBXWW = Her
2 children
The first true sense of calm I felt in YEARS was when I filed for D...
Separated 6/2013, D official around 6/2014

Posts: 1562 | Registered: May 2011
aesir
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Default  Posted: 2:52 PM, September 24th (Tuesday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

The data was based on transmitting the DNA pairs making up the genome in each cell, as well as the information contained in the brain. I suppose it could be much faster if you were prepared to accept a mind wipe on arrival.


Your mileage may vary... in accordance with the prophecy.

Do not back up. Severe tire damage.


Posts: 14924 | Registered: Nov 2007 | From: Winnipeg
StillGoing
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Default  Posted: 2:56 PM, September 24th (Tuesday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Each cell in the body? Because if you transported the neurological system into a prefab body at the other end you'd still have the same identity at a fraction of the cost!


“Fate is a fickle bitch who dotes on irony.”

Posts: 7081 | Registered: May 2010 | From: USA
aesir
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Default  Posted: 2:58 PM, September 24th (Tuesday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Opening wormholes makes more sense, and you just decrease the distances to travel. Plus you could chuck a pumpkin through a wormhole with your bare hands and set a new record.


Your mileage may vary... in accordance with the prophecy.

Do not back up. Severe tire damage.


Posts: 14924 | Registered: Nov 2007 | From: Winnipeg
StillGoing
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Default  Posted: 3:02 PM, September 24th (Tuesday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I don't know if wormholes actually work that way though. They produce closed timelike curves which I don't know enough about to talk about like I know a lot about them but basically I think it means you can get transport down to zero but not into the negative - so that would allow teleportation I guess, without reconstructive subatomic particle surgery.

It would let you SEE back in time though, since it would mean you could out distance your own light cone and catch it on netflix or something. "Your most embarrassing moments at age 13, NEW EPISODES."

eta:

Oh sorry we moved entirely to teleportation from time travel my mistake.

That would be a good punkin chucker.

[This message edited by StillGoing at 3:03 PM, September 24th (Tuesday)]


“Fate is a fickle bitch who dotes on irony.”

Posts: 7081 | Registered: May 2010 | From: USA
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