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I Can Relate     Print Topic    
User Topic: Betrayed Men - Part 14
ForwardMotion
♂ Member
Member # 32608
Default  Posted: 7:11 PM, September 27th (Friday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

SG - re: drama

My daughter and her mom (my ex-W...fWW is W#2) are DRAMA QUEENZ. But on this night, not. I was just thinking, man, this wedding/reception is going great, totally rocks...but, wait, where the hell is my wife?


me - BH

'It's not the end of everything,
It's just end of everything you know.'


Posts: 399 | Registered: Jun 2011 | From: Tejas
h0peless
♂ Member
Member # 36697
Default  Posted: 7:43 PM, September 27th (Friday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

A favorite local brew for me this evening: Nimbus Old Monkeyshine.

As for GTAV, I want it. I really, really want it. I don't, however, want to try to suffer through playing through it on a controller so I wait.


Posts: 1323 | Registered: Sep 2012 | From: Arizona
LosferWords
♂ Guide
Member # 30369
Default  Posted: 8:25 PM, September 27th (Friday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Nimbus Old Monkeyshine

Never heard of it. What kind of brew is that, h0peless?


Posts: 4549 | Registered: Dec 2010
h0peless
♂ Member
Member # 36697
Default  Posted: 8:35 PM, September 27th (Friday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

The bottle reads "English Style Ale". It isn't a brown but it isn't particularly hoppy either. 8.2% ABV. The nectar of the Gods. Probably my second favorite brewery to visit in town.

(not my picture but you get the idea.)

[This message edited by h0peless at 8:39 PM, September 27th (Friday)]


Posts: 1323 | Registered: Sep 2012 | From: Arizona
LosferWords
♂ Guide
Member # 30369
Default  Posted: 8:41 PM, September 27th (Friday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Damn. That looks really good, h0peless!

Posts: 4549 | Registered: Dec 2010
ForwardMotion
♂ Member
Member # 32608
Default  Posted: 9:21 PM, September 27th (Friday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

That is a good looking beer. Kind of Yorkshire ale-ish.


me - BH

'It's not the end of everything,
It's just end of everything you know.'


Posts: 399 | Registered: Jun 2011 | From: Tejas
flup
♂ Member
Member # 21259
Default  Posted: 9:27 PM, September 27th (Friday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Strangely I am o.k. with it. I am sure I will have some bad days, but amazingly, I have reached a point where I am not worried about her finding some POSER. Interesting. I am going to think on why I am suddenly not giving a shit. (I mean I am going to miss her--but I am not giving a shit in the affair sense).


Yep... same here. Although, my fWW doesn't spend so much time away from home, but I get the same treatment... texting about leaving/arriving here and there/leaving work/be home soon.

Whatever. (at this point)

I wasn't always like that - but I'm pretty sure I was very co-dependent at the time. Now, I've got a '79 Sportster in the garage I'm working at piecing together and getting a ride in before the snow flies.

I'm still trying not to be TOO bitter about getting her back when she's dried up and disinterested in sex, but she was horny and ovulating while banging whoever asked her what time it was, in years past.


Me: BS 55
Her: fWW 50

D-Day #1: 12 Aug. 2008. WW's 2nd affair w/college teacher.
D-Day #2: 18 June 2009. Affair #1 with neighbor was fall of 2002 - while I was coping with the fallout from 9/11.
Still trying to R.
22 years married


Posts: 426 | Registered: Oct 2008 | From: Ohio
slater13
♂ Member
Member # 39008
Default  Posted: 9:42 PM, September 27th (Friday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Re- hobbies/ gaming. I have always felt I had an addictive personality trait towards games. When I had an original Xbox, I would play HALO deep into the night and be useless at work the next day. I had to give that shit up. Now, I focus on my other hobbies- racing sailboats and my car.

During my fWW's affair, I bought a sporty car and started taking it to the track. I found my garage to be a great place to be alone and do what I enjoyed. It is a great mental distraction.

My fWW still has no hobbies, though she does sail with me some.


The choices we make reveal the true nature of our character

Posts: 153 | Registered: Apr 2013
StillGoing
♂ Member
Member # 28571
Default  Posted: 10:16 PM, September 27th (Friday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I was just thinking, man, this wedding/reception is going great, totally rocks...but, wait, where the hell is my wife?

That's one of those moments where you wish your shirt came with a seat belt, just so you could strap in after that epiphany strikes, isn't it.


“Fate is a fickle bitch who dotes on irony.”

Posts: 7107 | Registered: May 2010 | From: USA
ForwardMotion
♂ Member
Member # 32608
Default  Posted: 10:22 PM, September 27th (Friday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

A-fucking-men. Made my blood run cold.


me - BH

'It's not the end of everything,
It's just end of everything you know.'


Posts: 399 | Registered: Jun 2011 | From: Tejas
StillGoing
♂ Member
Member # 28571
Default  Posted: 10:27 PM, September 27th (Friday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

It's funny you say that, because I was just reading about naked mole rats, you know they are the only mammalian thermoconformer? Weird little fuckers.

I really need to close this shit out. Good night gentlement.


“Fate is a fickle bitch who dotes on irony.”

Posts: 7107 | Registered: May 2010 | From: USA
aesir
♂ Member
Member # 17210
Default  Posted: 2:57 AM, September 29th (Sunday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Just because the whole ICR forum seems almost catatonic, thought I would stir things up a bit with this article about food stuffed between bread.

http://tinyurl.com/nyftrts


Your mileage may vary... in accordance with the prophecy.

Do not back up. Severe tire damage.


Posts: 14924 | Registered: Nov 2007 | From: Winnipeg
StillGoing
♂ Member
Member # 28571
Default  Posted: 7:14 AM, September 29th (Sunday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

The thing that makes the headline for that link so epic is the photo of the couple.


“Fate is a fickle bitch who dotes on irony.”

Posts: 7107 | Registered: May 2010 | From: USA
wifehad5
♂ Moderator
Member # 15162
Default  Posted: 7:46 AM, September 29th (Sunday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Really aesir? Did you really think it was a good idea to post that?


FBH - 42
FWW - 43 (BrokenRoad)
2 kids 7&12

The people you do your life with shape the life you live


Posts: 35354 | Registered: Jun 2007 | From: Michigan
Ascendant
♂ Member
Member # 38303
Default  Posted: 8:29 AM, September 29th (Sunday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

The article does kind of eventually meander into some interesting conversation-starter type topics... namely, by one person who takes it all the way to the point of asking, "Why would you do anything for a man he could do for himself?"

Well.... Because she was being nice. Sometimes within the context of relationships... nice happens. Also within the context of relationships, you can make jokes that sound sexist, racist, offensive or whatever, and there is a mutual understanding of the tongue-in-cheekness of it all.

[This message edited by FacePunched at 8:30 AM, September 29th, 2013 (Sunday)]


“Anyone who has a continuous smile on his face conceals a toughness that is almost frightening.”

Posts: 1604 | Registered: Jan 2013 | From: Illinois
aesir
♂ Member
Member # 17210
Default  Posted: 9:15 AM, September 29th (Sunday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I did sit on it for a few days to make sure recent events had died down, however I found it to be an excellent metaphor for one of the biggest challenges men face in all of this. I have been feeling kinda metaphorical lately (see my "I have a friend" thread in general) because I can really only handle so many pages of "she fucked another dude" at one time, and that is not the only issue that affects us in all of this. The article is really about the condemnation heaped on him despite his doing nothing. How demeaning it is for her despite it being a perfectly normal thing.

The reactions to this (which was entirely her doing):

Instead of asking for a ring from "make me a sandwich" guy, I recommend changing the locks when he goes to work.

...

when a knuckle sandwich is clearly needed...

...

Is this real life? I dont even have anything witty to say about this because its so awful #300sandwiches #fail

Hell, even a guy (I presume from the tiny photo) got in on the attacks:

Wait a second:this asshole was literally waking up every morning and saying "Why haven't you made me a sandwich yet?"

All this because he made a little joke during a movie and she ran with it, but the whole societal meme dictates that he must be an abusive neanderthal oppressing her.

It reminds me very much of how everything about my STBXWW's affair was my fault, I must have done something to cause it, I clearly deserved it, and oh yeah, when I told her to go NC with her AP and the toxic friends who were co-conspirators in the whole thing, she got a flood of outraged facebook messages highlighting the relevant sections of the abusive spouse checklist (trying to isolate from friends, trying to control social interactions, etc.).

Sometimes people might get the idea that is is just pride and the fragile "male ego" that makes dealing with this shit different for men, but there is a whole lot of societal stuff that at a minimum borders on misandry. Face it, we are expected to play by a whole different set of rules than women, can not count on sympathy or support the way women can, are far more likely to be blamed for actions that were not ours, and are likely to be demonized for insisting on normal boundaries in the aftermath.


Your mileage may vary... in accordance with the prophecy.

Do not back up. Severe tire damage.


Posts: 14924 | Registered: Nov 2007 | From: Winnipeg
aesir
♂ Member
Member # 17210
Default  Posted: 9:19 AM, September 29th (Sunday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Excellent point FP, and when those things happen, it is very rare for outsiders to give the man the benefit of the doubt, which is almost automatically given to the woman.


Your mileage may vary... in accordance with the prophecy.

Do not back up. Severe tire damage.


Posts: 14924 | Registered: Nov 2007 | From: Winnipeg
StillGoing
♂ Member
Member # 28571
Default  Posted: 9:26 AM, September 29th (Sunday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

What I think is interesting is rather than just take the stupid comments at face value - stupid comments from stupid people - the article there as well as the folks defending it have to turn around and Other Group everyone. Liberals, Feminists, etc. It's hard to take the concept of misandry seriously when it's shouted right before the same kind of tripe immediately following.

I agree with you completely that as men we face some seriously double standard bullshit and demonization but I think that article is a better illustration of how everybody tries to pigeonhole things they don't agree with, even while they're being subjected to it themselves.

Honestly given they live in NY and he said it during ROTJ the 300 sammiches thing sounded like a nerd reference to a gaming counter, like "You are 300 hearts away from a Teleporting Sword Of Lion Pooping" but if you went out collecting hearts that would be kind of bad. Unless they were Ewok hearts.


“Fate is a fickle bitch who dotes on irony.”

Posts: 7107 | Registered: May 2010 | From: USA
aesir
♂ Member
Member # 17210
Default  Posted: 9:52 AM, September 29th (Sunday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I tried to find other articles about the same thing, but they were all more in line with the twitter twits commenting.

She even wrote an article explaining it in simple terms to the humour or relationship impaired, going so far as to state:

For those who think I’m sacrificing myself for Eric, know that he does most of the cooking, often having dinner ready when I come home late from work. He also suffers through many episodes of “House Hunters” on HGTV. He does things I like, just as I make sandwiches he likes, because that’s what a couple does. These aren’t sacrifices. They are what you do when you enjoy seeing the person you love happy.

And yet, that article had comments like these:

I think you have feminists so irked because your blog has succeeded in showcasing your husband's absolute worst, most pedantic and childish side. Which either means you're an awful writer not doing his supposed dazzling, sandwich-worthy personality justice, or you're pouring all this time, love, devotion and work into this childish wreck of a man when you could be doing something better for yourself. “You’ve been up for 15 minutes and you haven’t made me a sandwich?” Only works as a tongue-in-cheek line if you aren't perpetuating the inherent sexism it implies. Instead it's just ironic and depressing that you seem to cater to his every whim.

Back peddle any faster and you'll moonwalk right through a wall.

or my favorite commentary on this being an apparent interracial couple:
slavery ended a long time ago.......too good for him...
Though I am sure race had little to do with the vitriol in this case.

And a recent comment on the original, not sure if it is serious or funny as hell satire, but it does illustrate ... well I will let you decide:

Oh dear. No. Just no. That man? Is gayer than a Mexican tablecloth. Your sandwiches are not the sandwiches he is looking for. Do yourself a favor - get a spine, get some of your dignity back, and move on. Find a man who wants you simply because you are you - not because you make a mean PBJ.

[This message edited by aesir at 9:57 AM, September 29th (Sunday)]


Your mileage may vary... in accordance with the prophecy.

Do not back up. Severe tire damage.


Posts: 14924 | Registered: Nov 2007 | From: Winnipeg
wifehad5
♂ Moderator
Member # 15162
Default  Posted: 9:57 AM, September 29th (Sunday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Lots of people don't have a sense of humor. The author and her boyfriend do, and they seem to enjoy their life together. Good for them


FBH - 42
FWW - 43 (BrokenRoad)
2 kids 7&12

The people you do your life with shape the life you live


Posts: 35354 | Registered: Jun 2007 | From: Michigan
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