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Reconciliation Post Reply     Print Topic    
User Topic: Tomorrow is...
TimeToManUp
♂ Member
Member # 37538
Default  Posted: 6:59 PM, September 17th (Tuesday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

... the due date for what would have been our fourth child. It is going to be an excruciating day for TCD, I know it is. Tomorrow is the day that we should be welcoming what likely would have been our beautiful baby daughter (I am positive I only make girls) into the world. Instead, we will be going about our lives, trying our best to get through the day. I already know I have to work late, and TCD will be taking the girls to hockey practice alone. I wish there was something I could do to take her pain away. I wish the pain of my A wasn't coupled to the pain of our lost child. I know that I can't change the past, and I can't bring back our baby. And that is what frustrates me more than anything... That feeling of being powerless. She is going to be hurting immensely, and all I will be able to do is listen. I won't even be here to hold her until tomorrow night. I've got no vacation time left, and I can't call out sick anymore (just got my warning letter this afternoon). Ughh, I know I'm rambling. I just want TCD to know how much I love her and that I am sorry for everything. Nobody should have to endure either of these tragedies...


I know we're worth it.
WH (Me-33)
BW (tattoodchinadoll-31)
D-Day: 12/22/11
Together 15 years, married for 10.
Three daughters, 8, 4 and 2.

Posts: 227 | Registered: Nov 2012 | From: New Jersey
Simple
♀ Member
Member # 18814
Default  Posted: 7:16 PM, September 17th (Tuesday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

all I will be able to do is listen.

Sometimes that is enough.

Hugs to you both.


Love is a choice.

True love is harder to come by than soul mates. True love requires work.

Ignorance can be cured with knowledge. There is no cure for being an idiot.


Posts: 927 | Registered: Mar 2008
TimeToManUp
♂ Member
Member # 37538
Default  Posted: 11:32 AM, September 18th (Wednesday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I just hope and pray that listening will in fact be enough. I know she's really struggling today. Not in the broken down sobbing kind of way, just trying to process all the hurt of the past nearly two years of her life. It's got to be impossibly difficult to wade through it all right now.


I know we're worth it.
WH (Me-33)
BW (tattoodchinadoll-31)
D-Day: 12/22/11
Together 15 years, married for 10.
Three daughters, 8, 4 and 2.

Posts: 227 | Registered: Nov 2012 | From: New Jersey
Josephine01
♀ Member
Member # 38511
Default  Posted: 11:34 AM, September 18th (Wednesday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Hugs to you both, stay strong, you can get through this together.


Me, 42 BS
H, 61 WH
2 boys 19 and 15 years old
Married 24 years

Posts: 314 | Registered: Feb 2013
confused615
♀ Member
Member # 30826
Default  Posted: 11:43 AM, September 18th (Wednesday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Can you come home for lunch? Or, at least, call her more often than you usually do during the day? Maybe get her a nice gift,or write her a letter,where she will find it tomorrow..and be pleasantly surprised? Send her flowers? Just something a little extra that lets her know you know she is hurting and you're there for her.

You've made huge steps in the right direction in the last few months,TTMU. I showed my WH a post of yours a month or so ago..and it made an incredible impact on him..our R is going strong,largely due to that post..he "got it"....so thank you. Thank you.

(((((TCD and her FWH))))))


BS(me)41
FWH 45
4 kids..21,20,11,9
M: June 2001
D-Day: 8/10/10
Status: Happily Reconciled.

..that feeling you get in your stomach, when you heart's broken. It's like all the butterflies just died.


Posts: 7248 | Registered: Jan 2011 | From: Indiana
TimeToManUp
♂ Member
Member # 37538
Default  Posted: 12:00 PM, September 18th (Wednesday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Thank you all.

Confused- tomorrow is now today (I know, my topic could have been less confusing). I did in fact leave a note for her. I am trying to be as available as possible, given the circumstances. I am actually on a job that's about as far from home as I ever have to go (still in state, and I'll be home tonight, but lunch is out). I did buy her a gift, which I certainly hope can bring some light into her heart. I'm doing my best to get done as quickly as possible, but I'm in a very high voltage yard (345000 volts!) and safety has to be the primary concern for me and my coworkers. Thank you for the kind words. I'm glad to see others succeed. Your words have helped us very much as well.


I know we're worth it.
WH (Me-33)
BW (tattoodchinadoll-31)
D-Day: 12/22/11
Together 15 years, married for 10.
Three daughters, 8, 4 and 2.

Posts: 227 | Registered: Nov 2012 | From: New Jersey
sisoon
♂ Member
Member # 31240
Default  Posted: 6:18 PM, September 18th (Wednesday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Have you asked TCD what she'd like from you that you can give?

It doesn't matter what I say - the best solution is the one you and TCD create.


fBH (me) - 70, fWW (plainsong) - 65+, Married 45+, together since 1965
DDay - 12/2010
Recovered, not yet fully R'ed
I share my own experience because it's the only experience I know, not because I'm a good model.

Posts: 9909 | Registered: Feb 2011 | From: Chicago area
Topic Posts: 7

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