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Divorce/Separation Post Reply     Print Topic    
User Topic: Finally have a court date!
copout
♀ Member
Member # 22421
Default  Posted: 6:20 PM, September 18th (Wednesday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I refused further mediation after three hours got us no where.
Tell me what to expect from court?
Are there advantages or disadvantages?


Every new beginning comes from some other beginnings end.

Posts: 287 | Registered: Jan 2009
ChoosingHope
♀ Member
Member # 33606
Default  Posted: 8:17 PM, September 18th (Wednesday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Court can take a long time. It's very expensive. A real divorce court case can cost upwards of $100,000 per party. And most importantly, you lose all control over the outcome. Your future is entirely in the hands of a judge, who is a stranger who has a very limited period of time to figure out everything that's going on in your case. Some judges are lazy. Or biased. You never know who you will get.

If at all possible, you might want to keep the door open for some sort of settlement talks. If it's possible.

Good luck. I'm sure others will chime in here. I'm guessing very few will say that going to court is anything except a last resort.


Posts: 1433 | Registered: Oct 2011
MovingUpward
♂ Guide
Member # 14866
Default  Posted: 8:19 AM, September 19th (Thursday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Judges will vary in their rulings too so you'll need to find out who your judge will be and they will help you figure out what is to be expected. Most states have child support calculators and spousal support calculators. Many have a default visitation schedule. So understanding what those are will give you a better idea of what the outcome could be. Does your H have a lawyer? Were there any areas that you could agree on in mediation? I don't believe that you need to have the entire D settled in mediation, but if you are settled on some aspects then get those down in writing and signed.


AKA Moo

Think of the haters in your life as sandpaper; they’ll scratch you up time and time again but in the end you’re polished, smooth, and spotless..while they end up useless

There are shortcuts to happiness, and dancing is one of them-Vicky Baum


Posts: 49755 | Registered: Jun 2007 | From: Big Blue Nation
crisp
♂ Member
Member # 34236
Default  Posted: 12:37 PM, September 19th (Thursday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

It all depends on the variables. In a small asset, short term marriage with no kids, there is little to argue/worry about. The first thing you need to do is identify the issues. Then you can work on them--and maybe get some guidance from SIers.

Posts: 298 | Registered: Dec 2011 | From: NE US
copout
♀ Member
Member # 22421
Default  Posted: 5:45 PM, September 19th (Thursday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Married 23 yrs. 2 adult children,no debt,both retired.
It should be easy but he won't let that happen.


Every new beginning comes from some other beginnings end.

Posts: 287 | Registered: Jan 2009
crisp
♂ Member
Member # 34236
Default  Posted: 5:51 AM, September 20th (Friday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

No real estate or other valuable property to fight over? Sounds like he will find it difficult to isolate anything that will entertain any judge. As a lawyer, (no-not family law)I could see this as an opportunity for you to be able to do it yourself. Almost every court has sample forms for divorce and these type of courts are user friendly. On the other hand don't even think about going into criminal or commercial courts pro se. They would eat you up.

Posts: 298 | Registered: Dec 2011 | From: NE US
crisp
♂ Member
Member # 34236
Default  Posted: 5:55 AM, September 20th (Friday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I should add that you should make sure you know how your circumstances fit into the formulas on division of retirement income and possible spousal support.

Posts: 298 | Registered: Dec 2011 | From: NE US
copout
♀ Member
Member # 22421
Default  Posted: 12:55 PM, September 20th (Friday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

We have two residences and other assets to squabble over.


Every new beginning comes from some other beginnings end.

Posts: 287 | Registered: Jan 2009
homewrecked2011
♀ Member
Member # 34678
Default  Posted: 2:54 PM, September 20th (Friday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Ours was settled the day before. My friend's was settled the morning of the hearing.

In both cases, both attys said to settle, but we were fighting over stuff up until that day.


me BS 52
him - 46
married 15 years DIVORCED 10 31 12
children - ds15 ds12
d-day 12-19-11
I gave a 24hour ultimatum then went to attorney next day
Divorce filed

Posts: 1713 | Registered: Jan 2012
Topic Posts: 9

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