How to let go and accept? - That's the million dollar question!
I am going to give myself the gift of "time".
I remind myself that I did not make the choices that landed us in this horrible mess, and I will not let anyone...including me put the pressure on to "get over it" and accept it.
I tell myself if it takes a week, a year, 5 years, so be it. I will keep working on myself and if he keeps working on him, I have hope we will get there.
In the meantime I have re-learned to put myself back at the centre of my world, so regardless of how this plays out I will be strong in the face of it.
Also, his A "was a deal breaker". Just because I have chose to try R does not mean I am in the same marriage as I was before. We needed a "new deal". There was no way for me to continue in that marriage as good as it was, the foundation was broken into little pieces. We are two very different people after this experience, How can two people who are so drastically changed re-enter the old marriage? I don't think we can. But, I think we can build a new one, on a new foundation.
This is all I have to share, I know it is a whoa fully inadequate response, but it's
kinda helping me get there...I think
BS (Me) - 47
Married 23 years - together for 29 years
DDay - June 10th 2012 then TT'd-June 2012 - July 2012 (and beyond????)
2 amazing children
"Understanding love is one of the hardest things in life." - Fred Rogers