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Newest Member: dunnoY (44984)

Reconciliation Post Reply     Print Topic    
User Topic: shocked and stunned
Rebreather
♀ Member
Member # 30817
Default  Posted: 12:29 PM, September 19th (Thursday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

PJL, just wanted to give you a hug and a high five for staying true to yourself. Maybe this is the REAL wake up call he needs so he can take real action. I will hope so!!


Me BS
Him WH
2 ddays in '07
Recovering.
"The cure for the pain, is the pain." -Rumi

Posts: 6455 | Registered: Jan 2011
dameia
♀ Member
Member # 36072
Default  Posted: 7:55 AM, September 20th (Friday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I know I'm late to this, but I just wanted to give you a hug..


(((PinkJeepLady)))

I'm so sorry you're going through this right now. I think everyone else gave you some excellent points to ponder. I don't know where you'll go from here, but I hope your WH will make the decision to truly change this time.


Me: BS
D-Day: 7/7/12

One should rather die than be betrayed. There is no deceit in death. It delivers precisely what it has promised. Betrayal, though ... betrayal is the willful slaughter of hope. ~Steven Deitz


Posts: 1139 | Registered: Jul 2012
PinkJeepLady
♀ Member
Member # 37575
Default  Posted: 9:25 AM, September 20th (Friday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Never too late for a hug, in fact I needed one this morning. The shock is wearing off and now I feel confused and frozen. WH made a tremondous effort yesterday, but I don't know. This is so hard!
Pondering can really wear you out. I am wondering how I can put my full efforts into R while also being cautiously optimistic about WH's actions? How do I do that?
The support from SI has felt like a cushion that broke a bad fall, so nice!


Me: BW-54. Him-FWH 54. DDay June 1st 2012 cheating with prostitutes overseas
R-ing
"Not everything that counts is counted. Not everything that is counted counts." Albert Einstein

Posts: 484 | Registered: Nov 2012 | From: Out West
ISPIFFD
♀ Member
Member # 26367
Default  Posted: 11:18 AM, September 20th (Friday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

You find the note on the floor, by the trash? Sounds like a manipulation to me.

^^^ This. Exactly what I was thinking when I read your original post. I have no doubt that he meant for you to find that folded up postit. If he didn't want you to find it, he would've made damn sure it was buried in the trash or burned or thrown in the ocean. My XH used to do this. I'm amazed in retrospect by how many times I found things until someone pointed out to me that if my XH didn't actually want me to find them (and be horribly hurt all over again each time), he would have actually taken the trouble to get rid of them.

((((PinkJeepLady))))


Me: BW (55)
Him: WH (62)
7/14/11 - Divorced

Posts: 1847 | Registered: Nov 2009 | From: another world
PinkJeepLady
♀ Member
Member # 37575
Default  Posted: 12:31 PM, September 20th (Friday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

That's what is so great here, other people validate what you are thinking!
We aren't super clean but we don't leave trash on the floor. It was almost like he straight out handed it to me, how insane is that??!! He actually is considering this himself and I will say we are talking about things we haven't previously been able to. He seems to be very clear and driven today to get help and stick with it. I never felt he was completely out of the "fog", but I seems like it's more likely today.
Appreciate your thoughts, makes me not feel so crazy!


Me: BW-54. Him-FWH 54. DDay June 1st 2012 cheating with prostitutes overseas
R-ing
"Not everything that counts is counted. Not everything that is counted counts." Albert Einstein

Posts: 484 | Registered: Nov 2012 | From: Out West
Topic Posts: 25
Pages: 1 · 2

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