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User Topic: How low did they go?
♀ Member
Member # 39850
Default  Posted: 8:12 PM, September 19th (Thursday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

A few different things for me:

1. He had sex with her for the first time on Christmas Day

2. After Dday, he created 2 fake profiles on my online support forum and pretended to be girls giving me advice to stay with him, and then told me I was creating conspiracy theories when I told him I suspected that the profiles were him

When I think about everything, I just feel so bitter.

30 Bgf
Dday: April 2013
Relationship ended: January 2014

Posts: 1205 | Registered: Jul 2013
♀ Member
Member # 19772
Default  Posted: 10:30 PM, September 19th (Thursday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

How low did he go? He did a 180 for the worse.

He actually was a nice guy, good H to me at time and excellent father. I feel he's lost sight of the father thing and has become this superficial, elitist douche. It's sucky for kids and a bit embarrassing in a way. It's such a phony way to be, IMO.

I think a low for me was him "informing" me how crummy I was while he was 'up here'. It was like really - you had to do a physical hand-scale comparison?! That was pretty low, even for his new egotistically shitty personality.

[This message edited by wannabenormal at 10:32 PM, September 19th (Thursday)]

Posts: 14389 | Registered: Jun 2008
♀ Member
Member # 30905
Default  Posted: 11:34 PM, September 19th (Thursday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

How low did they go. The skanky ho invited him to come to her church, rubbed his arm during the service and told him how horny she was and then fu**** him in the parking lot in my car. My husband is a dick, but how skanky are you to fu** someone elses husband in your churchs parking lot?

Posts: 234 | Registered: Jan 2011
♀ Member
Member # 23769
Default  Posted: 11:46 PM, September 19th (Thursday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I was thinking about all the LOW moments H had but one of the things that still stand out to me was the day he moved out he took all the TP and Laundry detergent. I was staring at the empty spot on the washer where the giant container once was thinking WTF??? I know it isn't the same as banging in the church parking lot but to me it was just another point of how selfish he was. Buy your own detergent!

Married 1998, 2 kids
D-day3/27/09,he left 5/23/09
WH wants to rebuild 3/21/10
He moved back in 9/25/10,
Dec, 2011-finally putting it all together, H had multiple affairs.
Possible porn addict for 15 yrs.
01/2014- in house separation

Posts: 3280 | Registered: Apr 2009
♀ New Member
Member # 32928
Exclaimation  Posted: 11:49 PM, September 19th (Thursday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Well reading all of these makes me so sad for all of you.
The lowest for me was that he lied to me about having to go to home depot, while he was going to see her, her brother had died and she told him then that she wanted his baby How do you do this use your brothers death as a means to meet up, and discuss having a child with each other. This to me was the worst blow

Posts: 42 | Registered: Jul 2011
♀ Member
Member # 19772
Default  Posted: 11:56 PM, September 19th (Thursday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Things like church is totally gross. There's something sick to me about actually believing your church thinks you should be there w/ an OP...let alone sleep with an OP on premises! Not getting religious, just think it's one of those b.s. bonding things.

Hit - honestly, I think there is something pretty damned low-down about taking the family laundry products. Like you can't even get that for yourself?! It's just sad to me.

I'm such hot shit, I'm a hot date and totally neato...but I stole Angel Soft and Tide from my family. That's just real pathetic. Woo hoo, did he score dryer sheets too?! SMH

Posts: 14389 | Registered: Jun 2008
♀ Member
Member # 39911
Default  Posted: 11:58 PM, September 19th (Thursday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I told fWH not to worry about doing anything big for our anniversary. 33 years is a long time! "And we knew we loved each other, right?" He gave her a $500 pair of diamond and gold earrings, took her to lunch and called her 7 times that day. I got one "Happy Anniversary" text. Not even a card.

Me: BS - 58
Him: WS - 56
Married 34 yrs

Latest DD - April 2013, PA

Posts: 197 | Registered: Jul 2013
♀ Member
Member # 21377
Default  Posted: 12:14 AM, September 20th (Friday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

He had some business trips out of town and I was delighted that he was working. I never saw any money - he handled our finances.

One Saturday, I got a call from a nasty stripper. She lived in a different city but told me enough so that I knew she was telling the truth. She wasn't trying to do me any favors, she was mad at him. She called him a psycho. He told me she was blackmailing him.

Somewhere in the middle is the truth, but the only truth I cared about is that he cheated and that he gave her a LOT of money (that I earned).

I kicked him out that very day. I was able to get a legal annulment, in spite of the fact we were married five years. The reason I wanted the annulment is that I was the income earner (not what I signed up for) and I would have had to pay him alimony if I got a divorce. The judge granted my annulment, I was free and I am five years into my new life. It's not perfect, but I'd take it any day over the fake life I was living with him.

eta- I later found out she wasn't the only stripper. As far as I know, he may have been doing this our entire marriage. He certainly wiped out any money I saved before I met him.

[This message edited by somer222 at 12:15 AM, September 20th (Friday)]

Posts: 1424 | Registered: Oct 2008
♂ Member
Member # 28992
Default  Posted: 12:32 AM, September 20th (Friday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

My ex ran a cleaning company. During her A (exit affair) she got my Mum to do some of her cleaning jobs (my Mum was never paid) so she could spend time with OM. So in reality my ex was getting paid to sleep with OM while my Mum was doing the work. Her excuse for not being able to do the work herself was that she wasn't well and had doctor's appointments. Yeah, a doctor's appointment nearly every second day for 3 weeks. Not only that, but ex stole money, food and clothes from her cleaning clients. Some of her clients left money on the bench for her. She took the money without doing the work. I only know this because I was contacted by someone who was taking action against her for taking money but not doing any of the work for it. Now that is low.

[This message edited by Heath at 12:33 AM, September 20th (Friday)]

"It's only after we've lost everything that we are free to do anything'.

Posts: 123 | Registered: Jul 2010 | From: Australia
♀ New Member
Member # 39696
Default  Posted: 12:49 AM, September 20th (Friday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I thought he was going to watch a game at a bar, come to find out he was going to be with her. As he was getting ready to leave he kissed me goodbye, looked me in the eyes and said I love you with a smile. After being with her, he came home late that night crawled into bed with me, spooned up behind me wrapping his arms around me and told me thank you for letting him go, told me about what a great time he had, and said I love you, and proceeded to go to sleep with me in his arms....that night was also D-day for me.

Me = BS
Him = WS
3 teenagers
Married 24 years
D-Day: Nov. 10, 2012

Posts: 45 | Registered: Jun 2013
♀ Member
Member # 38735
Default  Posted: 12:54 AM, September 20th (Friday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I suddenly got really bad vertigo. I has a 5 year old and 3 month old baby that I was caring for. I was scared and didn't know what was wrong with me. The doctors weren't sure either. The Gnat suddenly had an out of town business trip that he HAD to go on. No matter how much I pleaded with him to stay (I was afraid to even drive and feared being alone with the kids) he said it would cost him his job if he didn't go. I ended up calling a friend who had a young baby herself, to come and stay with me.

You guessed it, he went to see OW and there was no work trip. It makes me sick to think about to this day. How he could be so selfish and uncaring. Turns out I had some inner ear damage from a virus that eventually fixed itself, but it took about 4 months.

I will never forgive him for that.

BW - Me (37)
XWH - (37) The Gnat
OW - Some dumb whore he picked up in another state and moved here here. Known as Hello Kitty.
M for 8 years, together for 10
1 DD (5), 1 DS (1 year)
Dday 3/13
Divorced 9/20/13

Posts: 918 | Registered: Mar 2013
Alex CR
♀ Member
Member # 27968
Default  Posted: 5:07 AM, September 20th (Friday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

GoingtoMakeIt....I never knew that Scott Peterson said that.....we never had television and don't catch a lot of that stuff.

But it looks like the Peterson trial was going on during the time H was looking for an OW in the other country.....he met her the end of '04 and probably heard about that lie on the radio..... either way it's disturbing and a reminder how low my H would go to get what he wanted.

BS Me 61
WS Him 62
Married 33
Together 40
DD 11/16/09
The future looks good....

Posts: 1713 | Registered: Mar 2010
♀ Member
Member # 34755
Default  Posted: 7:38 AM, September 20th (Friday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

He told me that people at work were spreading rumors about him and the baker were having an affair. HA HA HA, how insane is that?

I asked what did he and the baker think about that?

He said they just laughed and ignored it.

Except, the rumors were true. I have NO idea why he told me that. Gauging if I suspected? I don't know.

That and he wore the damn watch she gave him every fucking day, even after the A was over.

BS - Me
DDay 1 - Jul 11
DDay 2 - Jul 12
R Dec 12

Former 80s Icon wishful thinking

Posts: 2031 | Registered: Feb 2012
♀ Member
Member # 36072
Default  Posted: 7:51 AM, September 20th (Friday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Ahh, so many how do I choose?

Well there was the time that he had unprotected sex with a whore in Thailand, and then came home and had sex with me. Did I mention that I was PREGNANT at the time?! And Thailand is known for it's unbelievably high STD rates.

Also the time he paid to go on a 10 day vacation to Thailand with his friends, but I was left at home counting out change to pay the bills.

All the times he told me how much more attractive other women were, how he preferred everyone else to me.

But the one thing I can never get over is that he lied about all of this for almost 11 years. He stole my 20's from me, time I will never get back. He essentially made me a prisoner...he got everything he wanted at my expense.

Me: BS
D-Day: 7/7/12

Trust is like paper. Once it's crumpled it can never be perfect again.

Posts: 1168 | Registered: Jul 2012
♀ Member
Member # 30314
Default  Posted: 8:01 AM, September 20th (Friday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

He told me I traumatized myself by spying on him. That if I wouldn't have spied or hired a PI I wouldn't have found out on my own. If I would have waited for him to confess I would not have PTSD now. Right.

his Dday: 2/10 but TT until 7/11
my Ddays: 1/12, 4/12 broken NC 12/12

me (WW/BS): 48
him: (BS/WH)52
4 kiddos in mid 20's

The conditions we face do not define us. They remind us of who we are and who we want to be.

Posts: 5253 | Registered: Dec 2010 | From: Midwest
♀ Member
Member # 32289
Default  Posted: 8:37 AM, September 20th (Friday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Yeah, another church 'low'. After ow outed their great lurve to WH family, he and ow went to church together to 'pray for guidance' . Well, they felt god guided them to consummate their lurve and off they went to a hotel to do the deed. Still makes me sick that they used god-church that way.

Posts: 145 | Registered: May 2011 | From: New York
♀ Member
Member # 36579
Default  Posted: 8:40 AM, September 20th (Friday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Hmm, let's see

1. During his A with OW1 (I was clueless at the time), I had a terrible migraine with vomiting etc, so stayed in bed for the day. He ignored me all day, didn't even pop his head in the doorway to offer me a glass of water - nothing.

2. During false R, he had a vasectomy. It ended up being quite complicated and he needed a general anaesthetic. I organised all his paperwork, sat with him all day, helped him get ready to leave, drove him home and made him comfortable. All this time he was in full swing with OW2, the vasectomy was his free pass to screw around. Wish I'd kicked him hard exactly where it hurt that day.

3. He took pics of himself on our computer web cam which I found in the recycle bin. Bare chested, giving the camera the 'come hither' look When I confronted him, he said 'I never sent them to anyone!!' Turns my stomach to look at them now.

4. He also told his OWs everything about me, very personal stuff. Nope, can't forgive that in a hurry.

Me 46
ExH 51
EA Jun-Aug 12 (OW1)FB flirting and then EA/PA with OW2 (Aug-Dec 12). New OW Jan 13, introduced her to the kids immediately.
Married 10 years, together 14yrs
2 kids (DS11 & DD7)
Separated Jan 13. Divorced Jun 14

Posts: 180 | Registered: Aug 2012 | From: Australia
♀ Member
Member # 39888
Default  Posted: 8:45 AM, September 20th (Friday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Well he lied about all of it for 2 1/2 years.

1. He confessed there was an OW and gave me details: name, age, where he met her and was didn't want to be married anymore.

2. Within a month he wanted to Reconcile, started MC and IC for himself.

3. Stories changed to: I made the whole thing up, there was no one, just to get you to love me again.

4. Finally got the truth years later to find out it was his boss and it was only one "bj".

5. Called another woman FROM WORK to come watch him play ball.

6. Separation and false reconciliation that lasted a week after he lied about being at work and was not.

I think the constant lies for years was as low as he could be.

BW: 41 (me)
Divorced soon.
Moving forward.
Pre Nursing Student
Getting a Do over at 42

Posts: 125 | Registered: Jul 2013 | From: Lonelyville
♂ Member
Member # 38103
Default  Posted: 9:23 AM, September 20th (Friday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

WW hates using porta potties. I knew about WW and OM jogging together last december. What I didn't know was after jogging for an hour OM convienced WW to go into the porta pottie and fuck!

I have "taken" back many of the things they did. THIS is one, she can have all her own.

It is amazing I can continue to enjoy jogging, however the health benefits fortunately out weigh the hundreds of trigger it also provides.

Me: BH, 44
Her: WW, 43
D day. January 12, 2013

Posts: 675 | Registered: Jan 2013 | From: Socal
♀ Member
Member # 30826
Default  Posted: 10:39 AM, September 20th (Friday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Oh my. The entire thing was low.

Hmmm. Maybe it was when he moved our kids' car seats out of the way,so he could give OM a BJ.

Or..the nude pic that had taken a few years earlier of me...that he sent out to strangers on craigslist..advertising US as a "kinky couple"..all to see if they would send him back a pic of them.

Or..that OM told me *how* the BJ was done/given...and I realized WH had used a few of *my* techniques that I had used on him...I was also told I "taught him well."

Or...was it that he came home from giving this BJ..kissed me..and we had HOURS of sex the next night.

Or..his fantasy had always been to see me with another man...he mentioned it many times over the years. Of course,I had NO interest,and told him so..many times. Now..knowing what I know..I know he was going to use me as get the man there..because apparently,he likes that.

The whole entire thing is disgusting. So shameful. One of the things that i have been so angry about is how far he lowered himself. How dare he put himself..and danger? He was/is better than that.

FWH 45
4 kids
M: June 2001
D-Day: 8/10/10
Status: Reconciling?

..that feeling you get in your stomach, when you heart's broken. It's like all the butterflies just died.

Posts: 7678 | Registered: Jan 2011 | From: Indiana
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