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User Topic: How low did they go?
♂ Member
Member # 28571
Default  Posted: 10:53 AM, September 20th (Friday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

We played an online game together, the OM pretended to be someone else and became a 'friend' and she let me believe it. For.. I dunno, most of a year.. actually, more than, since she insisted for months after dday that he wasn't anyone in the game we played, and I found a letter she never sent where it had fallen behind the dresser one day while I was cleaning.

Fun and games with SG's grip on reality.

"You have insulted my footwear."

Posts: 7484 | Registered: May 2010 | From: USA
♀ Member
Member # 6908
Default  Posted: 10:58 AM, September 20th (Friday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

One of many at that time:

Right after DDay but before my then WS moved out, my oldest son (19)at the time was trying to talk to his Dad and find out the why's and was upset and trying to talk to him about it. My then WS told him that the reason was that it was my fault and that he did not like having sex with me. That sex was not good. Thats what he told his son about his mother.

Posts: 5679 | Registered: Apr 2005 | From: florida
♀ Member
Member # 27993
Default  Posted: 1:23 PM, September 20th (Friday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Two things stand out for me....after gas lighting me for months and telling me how much he loved me and didn't have a Horseface, he:

1. Had business in London for about 12 days. He asked me to join him as this was to be a grueling trip. He needed me, blah, blah, blah!!! I was scheduled to return halfway thru the trip as it was Christmas and our youngest child was due to come home from his first semester at college. I solely was responsible for everything surrounding the holidays, so I thought he would be fine for the last few days by himself. Things did not go as planned and he was a mess. I told him that I couldn't leave him this way and I wanted to stay and rearrange my flight back. He insisted that I leave and he was fine. PS...The OW flew in on the same plane I flew out on, on the very same day. Apparently the business was over the day I left and they had a 5 day European vacation, shopping and very fine wine and dinners!

2. Then, two months later, we hosted his elderly parents for a week. He had to leave to go out of town for meetings and I knew the meetings were over on a Thursday. He left me with his elderly parents, waiting on them hand and foot, driving them everywhere, meals etc, and he has OW fly to meet him for two additional nights. After promising me, he wouldn't stick me with his parents.

Guess who got caught when he arrived home? He was actually busted the night before....DDAY!!!

[This message edited by crestfallen at 1:24 PM, September 20th (Friday)]

Married 32 years
OW-Mr. Ed ish! Seriously!
DDAY- 2/21/09
TT until 1/10/10
Working on R and doing well!!

Posts: 179 | Registered: Mar 2010
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Member # 36576
Default  Posted: 3:46 PM, September 20th (Friday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

1. Going to church with her when he went very rarely with me, and hated it.
2. Started to read the Bible to be closer to her.
3. Texting scriptures to each other.
4. Told me he was going to drive out to the house we were in the process of buying(our first) to think about things while I was in the hospital after having baby #4. There were horrible storms, and I was worried and called him several times. Guess where he was. And she was visiting friends at the time so she was way out of town. He was doing over 100mph to get to her quickly to have as much time with her as possible. He got pulled over, but he had gone to school for criminal justice. The cop who pulled him over had graduated with him, and let him go.
5. After being given oral 2 separate times by ow he only met 1 time each, never showering or washing off, and letting me do the same the morning after.

He truly disgusts me sometimes. Okay most of the time.

[This message edited by whatnow8 at 3:52 PM, September 20th (Friday)]

wtf?? How insane does your life have to get that you want to polygraph your freaking HUSBAND. ~ OldCow18

It's hard to make a decision when you're too tired to hold on and too in love to let go. ~ unknown

Posts: 178 | Registered: Aug 2012 | From: midwest
♀ Member
Member # 35624
Default  Posted: 7:00 PM, September 20th (Friday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

WH telling OW when they met, that he and I were living in separate houses.

Him telling OW that I found out about the affair not because he and I were living together and that made it easier for me to find out, but because I was living separate from him, and I was crazy jealous or something and hired a PI to take photos of them together. (lie)

Him telling OW that I now needed to move back into his house, as part of our divorce negotiation deal, where he took care of me while I had cancer and in exchange he would keep his retirement fund intact. (lie...I never had cancer, we never had two houses and this was all a convoluted story he told her)

WH spending the night with OW the night my father died last year.

We were married, one house, one daughter. 17 years.

WH: 41
me: BS, 45
Together 18 1/2 years, married 17
DDAY 8/2/12
OW: EA- friend of 4 months
Status: separated

Posts: 903 | Registered: May 2012 | From: California
♀ Member
Member # 38438
Default  Posted: 7:16 PM, September 20th (Friday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Writing an entire page in his journal wishing his "first love" a happy 40th birthday and waxing lyrical about how important she still is to him - and then totally forgetting mine. It was my 40th FFS!

Still rankles.

“Love does not begin and end the way we seem to think it does. Love is a battle, love is a war; love is a growing up.”
― James Baldwin

Posts: 283 | Registered: Feb 2013
♀ Member
Member # 37735
Default  Posted: 7:33 PM, September 20th (Friday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

1. WH asked our teenage daughter to teach him how to text, so that he could text OW
2. WH went on a diet so that he would be "hot" for OW-----he had me cooking special dishes for him every day
3.F*cked OW, then came home & got into bed with me
4.Told all of his friends & family horrible things about me(that I was always angry,that I kept the house too messy, etc.) I to justify why he cheated
5. looked into my eyes & lied right to my face about continued contact with OW multiple times for months after Dday,& in front of the MC

together 25 yrs, married 24 yrs, 4 children;Rebuilding
D Day: 5/10/2011 PA
OW: WH's co-worker,divorced, no children, 20 yrs younger than I-----& she knew he was married, had met our kids, but that did not stop her from trying to destroy our family

Posts: 1396 | Registered: Dec 2012
♀ New Member
Member # 39637
Default  Posted: 7:33 PM, September 20th (Friday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

How low? I guess for me it was two things:

I put spyware on his phone and in his whole conversation home with his best friend to come see me and disclose everything, they plotted everything he would tell the truth about and everything he would lie about. his friend was even helping him plan out the faces and voice he needed to use with me. I mean it was some really juicy stuff lol. I knew all the lies before he even arrived. When I met with him, he put on this pouty face ready to lie. He ended up caving in and telling me everything though. His friend and him even stopped off at his job to delete things off his computer, get rid of all his cds and disk drives and extra phones that he was keeping.

Secondly - the nanny and him conspired to tell me lies. So when I confronted the nanny in front of him --- she lied lol and he finally told her to just tell me the truth.


[This message edited by ctdean2004 at 7:35 PM, September 20th (Friday)]

Me: BS, 31
Him: WH/SA, 31
Together 8 years
Married 7 years
DS1, DD2, DSontheway 10/10/13
Official DDAY: October 2012
'09 some things came out, he went to SA, stopped doing it and he went to town! Always been caught and never confessed.

Posts: 23 | Registered: Jun 2013 | From: Connecticut
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Member # 35387
Default  Posted: 7:38 PM, September 20th (Friday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Soangryandhurt we have similar stories.

He used our daughter (5years old at the time) to set up play dates to see her.

Brought her to our home to make-out (ya, sure that's all they did on my couch) while our son was upstairs sleeping with a fever and her infant daughter was on the floor next to them.

Looked me in the eye, told me he loved me, turned around and took OW to a sleazy motel to have sex. Did I mention that I work full time and OW was a stay at home basically I paid for that motel room

Brought her into our home while I was at work, let her bring her 4 month old infant with her. Left baby on the main floor (with our dog) while they went down to the unfinished nasty basement to fuck. Her BH called Children's Aid when he heard that one. So now, thanks to WH our family home is on record at Children's aid.

Married 9 years, together for 11 years
2 children (7 years & 4 years)
Discovery of PA 04/15/12 (It only lasted a "couple of weeks" but it still shattered my world.)

Posts: 466 | Registered: Apr 2012
♀ Member
Member # 39609
Default  Posted: 7:40 PM, September 20th (Friday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

For me it was him telling her I was dead....that he was a widow........

Give me a second to pick my jaw up from the floor....


Together 6 yrs. M 4 yrs. DD born 3/1/2013.
Me: BS -- Him: 1 EA/PA (6mos), PA (MW), and 6 ONS...Been at it for almost 5 yrs. *Still slave to TT* 1st DDay- 11/24/2012,
.....OC due in August.....

Posts: 122 | Registered: Jun 2013 | From: United States
♀ New Member
Member # 40335
Default  Posted: 9:38 PM, September 20th (Friday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I asked what the story was with Good Friend and her husband (I knew he had spent some time with her). He told me he didn't feel comfortable telling me. (Guess he did not want to betray her. Ha. I eventually did get the information from him.) He said in some odd way he hoped talking to her about our marriage would help. At 3 in the morning at her place?! He never talked to me about our marriage much. He said he had been dropping hints about how unhappy he was. Guess the widdle guy couldn't figure out how to use his words.

Wore a "Beware of Gold Diggers" Shirt to our house, and in front of his daughters, when he came to get the rest of his things.

Had me programmed in his phone under the contact name Gold Digger, which he inadvertently showed my daughter.

Being an overall lousy excuse for a man once it was clear I was on to him.

Then there were the cameras. We had bought them for home security. He put three in his roughly 10- by 10-foot computer room. Told the kids it was to keep me from snooping on his computer, WHICH WAS PASSWORD-PROTECTED ANYWAY.

And before I was willing to accept what was really going on I asked why he had a special folder on his phone, and if her emails or texts went there. He said it was part of "Mistress Mail," an app he had created for his phone (he had done some programming). I seem to recall he told me this while I was lying in bed beside him with tears streaming down my face. I certainly didn't think joking like that was appropriate.

[This message edited by shockandeww at 9:48 PM, September 20th (Friday)]

Posts: 4 | Registered: Aug 2013
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Member # 40115
Default  Posted: 10:03 PM, September 20th (Friday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

4. Telling me that the PA started with my BFF because "they were both worried about me and my depression."
3. Stopping by same BFF's house on the way from police station to make sure "she could be there for me", before coming home to tell me he'd been picked up for soliciting a minor.
2. Telling me he always used protection and then XBFF confirmed that they did not use a condom.

And the #1 low thing STBXH ever did, was telling me that he "Truly loved me" after doing all this shit to me.

Edited to correct stupid typos.

Two steps forward and one step backwards, is still progress.

Posts: 1861 | Registered: Jul 2013 | From: Illinois, USA
♀ Member
Member # 32584
Default  Posted: 10:21 PM, September 20th (Friday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

My WH told his LTA OW that he wished I would die so that he, my daughter, her and her kids could all be together.

BS: me - 37
WH: him - 37
DD: 8
DD: 11 mos

Married over 9 years, together for 18.

DD#1: 12/12/10 - LTA of 3 years, 2 mos.
DD#2: 02/02/11 - 2 EA/PA with coworkers, a month after the LTA was ended (by OW).

In limbo.

Posts: 323 | Registered: Jun 2011 | From: Ontario Canada
♀ Member
Member # 35417
Default  Posted: 10:54 PM, September 20th (Friday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

My husband is disabled, so as it happened, (WITHOUT MY KNOWLEDGE) I helped him groom and pack to go out of town where he met and paid her for sex.

"Noone can make you feel inferior without your concent." Eleanor Roosevelt

I will not be vanquished. Rose Kennedy

Posts: 1889 | Registered: Apr 2012
♀ Member
Member # 40407
Default  Posted: 11:24 PM, September 20th (Friday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

He told me that being with her made him appreciate me more.
He planned and took my son out of state for spring vacation so he could stay with her and take her on dates in public since he couldn't do that in our city, while dumping my son with his parents.

[This message edited by ddame23 at 11:28 PM, September 20th (Friday)]

D-Day April 18 2013
The whole Truth 7/21/14
Spoke (wrote) too soon more TT 7/23/14
I can't even put into words...

Posts: 59 | Registered: Aug 2013 | From: Coastal Empire, GA
♀ Member
Member # 40358
Default  Posted: 11:31 PM, September 20th (Friday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Let's c:
Telling ow he couldn't orgasmn with me
Telling her we were separated and getting a divorce. Sometimes I want to do just that to say, "hey u got what u wanted all along"
Just destroying my trust I guess and not giving a damn

Bs: me 32 WH: 36
Dday: July 2012
LTA: 4years (ea, pa)
Dd-4. Ds-2
My life is shattered unsure about R

Posts: 140 | Registered: Aug 2013 | From: canada
♀ Member
Member # 35862
Default  Posted: 7:44 AM, September 21st (Saturday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

The fact that H thought he could have it all...the wife and kids and the fantasyland of unicorns farting fainbows.

It doesn't get any lower than shitting on your family

Me: BS 43
H : WS 46
DD #1 7-11-08
DD#2 8-21-09 same OW, A never ended.
Started R in 12-09
"If what doesn't kill you makes you stronger, I should be able to bench press a Buick."

Posts: 677 | Registered: Jun 2012
♀ Member
Member # 37756
Default  Posted: 10:52 AM, September 21st (Saturday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Having an affair, while I was pregnant with his son. Sleeping with the OW without protection, knowing she wanted to get pregnant. Sleeping with me after having unprotected sex with that whore he didn't really even know, while I was pregnant, and possibly risking the life of our unborn child with std's.

Leaving me alone, pregnant, with our child and the OW's step kids so they could go on a hike together and then have sex in his car afterwards.

Then proceed to come back to our home, have dinner and play board games all together.

That was after they kissed in my daughter's room while I was with my daughter at her dance class.

Clearly I have some unresolved anger here. But I just can't imagine how heartless you have to be to do all this ^^^. And to someone who is carrying your CHILD.

I always bragged about how wonderful my H was to me when I was pregnant. So loving and compassionate.

Unfortunately, that only applied to my first pregnancy. Apparently. Maybe. Who knows.

Surrender to what is. Let go of what was. Have faith in what will be. -- Sonia Ricotti

Posts: 585 | Registered: Dec 2012
♀ Member
Member # 39362
Default  Posted: 11:11 AM, September 21st (Saturday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

In my case there are two things that stand out, but these are just the most recent and after a long string of things.

They filed a fake police report together. He claimed I scratched him, she claimed to be a witness. All of this on a day when I didn't to even see him. I've never even seen OW.

About a week later, they started putting up Craigslist ads and giving out my personal information. They pretended to be me and told people I was looking for a walk on the wild side. They even sent out pictures and my work address. One guy said he was showing up at my office to meet me.

I figured if things were so great between them they wouldn't need to terrorize me. I guess they're no longer together. Big shock there. They kind of deserve each other IMO.

[This message edited by Rainbows at 11:12 AM, September 21st (Saturday)]

There is always a rainbow after every storm.

Posts: 411 | Registered: May 2013 | From: California
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Member # 31030
Default  Posted: 12:11 PM, September 21st (Saturday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

-He had her book a hotel room for 3 nights in the same hotel he was staying at with a friend of ours whom he was helping with an out of town seminar for our friend's company. He would sneak over to her room and fuck her whenever he had a free moment.

-Further having unprotected sex with her over those 3 days never once caring about the potential threat to my future health.

-Ordering her roses on Valentines day using part of the money I deposited into his account to pay our household bills--he got me zilch that year. Can hardly stand that holiday now.

BS (Me)
WS (Him)
D-Day 5/29/09
Married 11 yrs, together 16 yrs

Posts: 777 | Registered: Jan 2011
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