Fun and games with SG's grip on reality.
Right after DDay but before my then WS moved out, my oldest son (19)at the time was trying to talk to his Dad and find out the why's and was upset and trying to talk to him about it. My then WS told him that the reason was that it was my fault and that he did not like having sex with me. That sex was not good. Thats what he told his son about his mother.
1. Had business in London for about 12 days. He asked me to join him as this was to be a grueling trip. He needed me, blah, blah, blah!!! I was scheduled to return halfway thru the trip as it was Christmas and our youngest child was due to come home from his first semester at college. I solely was responsible for everything surrounding the holidays, so I thought he would be fine for the last few days by himself. Things did not go as planned and he was a mess. I told him that I couldn't leave him this way and I wanted to stay and rearrange my flight back. He insisted that I leave and he was fine. PS...The OW flew in on the same plane I flew out on, on the very same day. Apparently the business was over the day I left and they had a 5 day European vacation, shopping and very fine wine and dinners!
2. Then, two months later, we hosted his elderly parents for a week. He had to leave to go out of town for meetings and I knew the meetings were over on a Thursday. He left me with his elderly parents, waiting on them hand and foot, driving them everywhere, meals etc, and he has OW fly to meet him for two additional nights. After promising me, he wouldn't stick me with his parents.
Guess who got caught when he arrived home? He was actually busted the night before....DDAY!!!
[This message edited by crestfallen at 1:24 PM, September 20th (Friday)]
He truly disgusts me sometimes. Okay most of the time.
[This message edited by whatnow8 at 3:52 PM, September 20th (Friday)]
It's hard to make a decision when you're too tired to hold on and too in love to let go. ~ unknown
Him telling OW that I found out about the affair not because he and I were living together and that made it easier for me to find out, but because I was living separate from him, and I was crazy jealous or something and hired a PI to take photos of them together. (lie)
Him telling OW that I now needed to move back into his house, as part of our divorce negotiation deal, where he took care of me while I had cancer and in exchange he would keep his retirement fund intact. (lie...I never had cancer, we never had two houses and this was all a convoluted story he told her)
WH spending the night with OW the night my father died last year.
We were married, one house, one daughter. 17 years.
I put spyware on his phone and in his whole conversation home with his best friend to come see me and disclose everything, they plotted everything he would tell the truth about and everything he would lie about. his friend was even helping him plan out the faces and voice he needed to use with me. I mean it was some really juicy stuff lol. I knew all the lies before he even arrived. When I met with him, he put on this pouty face ready to lie. He ended up caving in and telling me everything though. His friend and him even stopped off at his job to delete things off his computer, get rid of all his cds and disk drives and extra phones that he was keeping.
Secondly - the nanny and him conspired to tell me lies. So when I confronted the nanny in front of him --- she lied lol and he finally told her to just tell me the truth.
[This message edited by ctdean2004 at 7:35 PM, September 20th (Friday)]
He used our daughter (5years old at the time) to set up play dates to see her.
Brought her to our home to make-out (ya, sure that's all they did on my couch) while our son was upstairs sleeping with a fever and her infant daughter was on the floor next to them.
Looked me in the eye, told me he loved me, turned around and took OW to a sleazy motel to have sex. Did I mention that I work full time and OW was a stay at home mom...so basically I paid for that motel room
Brought her into our home while I was at work, let her bring her 4 month old infant with her. Left baby on the main floor (with our dog) while they went down to the unfinished nasty basement to fuck. Her BH called Children's Aid when he heard that one. So now, thanks to WH our family home is on record at Children's aid.
For me it was him telling her I was dead....that he was a widow........
Give me a second to pick my jaw up from the floor....
Wore a "Beware of Gold Diggers" Shirt to our house, and in front of his daughters, when he came to get the rest of his things.
Had me programmed in his phone under the contact name Gold Digger, which he inadvertently showed my daughter.
Being an overall lousy excuse for a man once it was clear I was on to him.
Then there were the cameras. We had bought them for home security. He put three in his roughly 10- by 10-foot computer room. Told the kids it was to keep me from snooping on his computer, WHICH WAS PASSWORD-PROTECTED ANYWAY.
And before I was willing to accept what was really going on I asked why he had a special folder on his phone, and if her emails or texts went there. He said it was part of "Mistress Mail," an app he had created for his phone (he had done some programming). I seem to recall he told me this while I was lying in bed beside him with tears streaming down my face. I certainly didn't think joking like that was appropriate.
[This message edited by shockandeww at 9:48 PM, September 20th (Friday)]
And the #1 low thing STBXH ever did, was telling me that he "Truly loved me" after doing all this shit to me.
Two steps forward and one step backwards, is still progress.
Married over 9 years, together for 18.
DD#1: 12/12/10 - LTA of 3 years, 2 mos.
DD#2: 02/02/11 - 2 EA/PA with coworkers, a month after the LTA was ended (by OW).
I will not be vanquished. Rose Kennedy
[This message edited by ddame23 at 11:28 PM, September 20th (Friday)]
It doesn't get any lower than shitting on your family
Leaving me alone, pregnant, with our child and the OW's step kids so they could go on a hike together and then have sex in his car afterwards.
Then proceed to come back to our home, have dinner and play board games all together.
That was after they kissed in my daughter's room while I was with my daughter at her dance class.
Clearly I have some unresolved anger here. But I just can't imagine how heartless you have to be to do all this ^^^. And to someone who is carrying your CHILD.
I always bragged about how wonderful my H was to me when I was pregnant. So loving and compassionate.
Unfortunately, that only applied to my first pregnancy. Apparently. Maybe. Who knows.
They filed a fake police report together. He claimed I scratched him, she claimed to be a witness. All of this on a day when I didn't to even see him. I've never even seen OW.
About a week later, they started putting up Craigslist ads and giving out my personal information. They pretended to be me and told people I was looking for a walk on the wild side. They even sent out pictures and my work address. One guy said he was showing up at my office to meet me.
I figured if things were so great between them they wouldn't need to terrorize me. I guess they're no longer together. Big shock there. They kind of deserve each other IMO.
[This message edited by Rainbows at 11:12 AM, September 21st (Saturday)]
-Further having unprotected sex with her over those 3 days never once caring about the potential threat to my future health.
-Ordering her roses on Valentines day using part of the money I deposited into his account to pay our household bills--he got me zilch that year. Can hardly stand that holiday now.