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User Topic: How low did they go?
philly172
♀ Member
Member # 19024
Default  Posted: 12:27 PM, September 21st (Saturday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

There were so many low things WH & OW did, like telling DD he couldn't chose between her & OW, physically attacking me & DS1, calling me vile names..

BUT

The absolute lowest thing WH did that can still bring me to tears is when I was pregnant with DS2 I went through a pre-partum depression/anxiety ( my doc assured me it was common) It was a VERY trying dark time for me & at the time, my WH was the MOST supportive. It is something only WH, my OB, my Aunt & grandmother knew.. I didn't share it with anyone & didn't tell my kids..

One time during the A, I had OW in a state of panic ( a for real state of panic, she checked into a psych hospital after we spoke) she was worried that I was going to tell her BH.. So, she decided to call my oldest son (who was 15 at the time) & he told her to not call him again & called her a crazy homewrecking bitch & she went off on him & told him that she was crazy but I was more crazy & told him the entire story of what happened when I was pregnant with his brother..

After we R'ed I asked WH why he told her as he knew I wanted it kept private.. He said he told it to a group of people in passing at work months before the A when they were telling pregnancy stories.. I call bull - first off, who tells a story that they knew their wife had problems with, especially a story so painful. second, he told a GROUP of people????.. which is worse than only telling OW..

I think he told her the story to make me look crazy & couldn't think of anything better so he told that story.

It's been over 5 years & I'm crying as I type this.. that's how low he went!!


"Sorry" works when a mistake is made, but not when trust is broken. So in life, make mistakes, but never break trust. Because forgiving is easy, but forgetting & trusting again is sometimes impossible

Posts: 4767 | Registered: Apr 2008 | From: Not in Philly.. it's just a screen name :-)
caring4me
♀ New Member
Member # 40414
Default  Posted: 2:27 PM, September 21st (Saturday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I think what hits me the hardest is the fact he could openly talk to OW. My biggest complaint throughout the years was lack of communication. He wouldn't tell me how he really felt and just wasn't open with me-until he was mad and screaming at me. But found her because he needed someone to "talk" to. All our major events have been tainted due to his long standing EA. he even bought me flowers, after a fight where he swore he would be done talking to her-and told me SHE told him to buy them for me!! I can't stand flowers now.

Posts: 10 | Registered: Aug 2013
frigidfire86
♀ Member
Member # 32324
Default  Posted: 4:01 PM, September 21st (Saturday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Right after D-Day he told me that if we D he would do anything and everything he could to take our daughter away from me. All because I said I wanted to sell his precious car because I didn't think he deserved to keep it.


Me: 28
Him: 29
Married 8 years
Daughter, 7 yrs old
D-Day: 05/08/2011

Posts: 621 | Registered: May 2011 | From: Germany
tryinginmi
♀ Member
Member # 29358
Default  Posted: 9:18 PM, September 21st (Saturday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I struggle with the fact that he sent a picture of his dick to her. How stupid can you be?( please don't answer that). We had made fun of other people doing such a stupid thing.......and yet........smh. I just don't get it.

He also befriended her teenage daughters. All while ignoring and neglecting his own children.


Me - BW 38
Him - FWH 38
Her - MOW 46 Fat Assed Toothless Man Faced Whore!!!

DD#1 July 28, 2010 Admitted to EA. A went underground.
DD#2 August 19,2010 Admitted PA


Posts: 966 | Registered: Aug 2010 | From: Michigan
Tearsoflove
♀ Member
Member # 8271
Default  Posted: 10:12 PM, September 21st (Saturday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

First affair:
1. He was deployed for a year. Once the affair started, I could never get a hold of him by phone. His phone was always out of minutes. He let her call him all the time even though she was there with him. So much so that he was barely ever able to talk to his wife, children, or any other family member.

2. He let her mail a gift to our youngest daughter from him. I hate that thing but can't get rid of it because of what it means to her that Daddy sent a gift from overseas.

3. The night he was due home for his mid-tour, his plane was delayed and she just happened to be home on leave in the area. She drove to the airport and spent the night with him in his hotel. Since she'd been on leave, he had already gotten through the withdrawal period. But that started it all over again so he acted strange for the first few weeks he was home. By the time he started acting like my husband, it was time to go back. I hadn't seen him in 8 months and they tainted the little bit of time we had together before he had to go back. That hurt more than anything and she made sure I knew about it.

Second affair:

1. Right after the first time they slept together, he sent me an email telling me how much he loved me, how perfect I am, and how proud he was to be my husband.

2. Again, he was away from home and although we spoke more often, he didn't answer my calls because of the affair. He doesn't dare not answer his phone now because it's such a trigger for me.

3. He made me look him in the eye so he could swear he didn't sleep with her. He never faltered. It makes it hard to believe he was ever honest.


"Just because I don't care doesn't mean I don't understand." ~Homer Simpson


Posts: 3928 | Registered: Sep 2005
Bluebird26
♀ Member
Member # 36445
Default  Posted: 11:57 PM, September 21st (Saturday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

The worst, the time he was planning his exit affair I was mourning the loss of both my grandmothers within a 3 month period and I couldn't attend their funerals interstate as he was away 'working' and he chose this time to meet up with his EA AP and turned his EA into a PA on mothers day

[This message edited by Bluebird26 at 11:59 PM, September 21st (Saturday)]


"Loving someone should not mean losing you. Love empowers you. It shouldn't erase you. - Thelma Davis.

Posts: 1280 | Registered: Aug 2012 | From: Australia
918Mama
♀ Member
Member # 37756
Default  Posted: 12:50 AM, September 22nd (Sunday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Bluebird,

You reminded me about mother's day. How could I forget?

He fucked OW2 the night before mother's day. Then went to Walmart afterwards and bought be a bunch of crap for mothers day which he proceeded to dump on the counter and told me I could look at, while he sat at the table and ate because he was "starving". Guess fucking a whole really builds an appetite.

Then he proceeded to take a shower in front of me. He might as well have just told me for as little as he could have cared in that moment.


Surrender to what is. Let go of what was. Have faith in what will be. -- Sonia Ricotti

Posts: 486 | Registered: Dec 2012
Laura28
♀ Member
Member # 28997
Default  Posted: 4:39 AM, September 22nd (Sunday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

All of this is so reassuring. Here was I thinking that mine was the only monster.

There are many but I will just give the highlights:

1. He suggested I travel 250 miles away for the weekend to see our adult children for Mother's Day. I now know it was really so he could screw OW3 for the first time.

2. I went to visit our children another weekend. I left Friday afternoon and came home Sunday. I later found out he screwed her on Fri and Sat and me on Sunday. Classy.

3. The hospital called my work to tell me my mother was dying and had only hours. I called him on his cell (it was his day off) and asked him to come to the hospital to be with me. He gave me an excuse about having to take his sick nephew to a specialist. I later found out he actually had a play date with his whore. So while I sat holding my dying mother's hand he was screwing her. Nice. (Two days later was dday. When I found out about the lie regarding his nephew, told him I knew and couldn't understand how he could do this he said "But I loved your mother". I slapped him...... My bad!!)

I do believe an alien race has invaded our planet. How can these people be human????

HUGS to all

Laura


Married 32yrs Me BW 57Yrs Him FWH 60yrs
OWzero 1988 EA?/PA? Gaslighted.
Dday May 28 2010.
OW1 1994(6mths PA, EA 16+ years).
OW2 2002(8yrs PA).
OW3 2009(1Yr PA).
Others???? Status: Not Divorcing..but.."You can't unfuck the goat"

Posts: 2738 | Registered: Jul 2010 | From: Australia
Hurt4Ever
Member
Member # 167
Default  Posted: 8:33 AM, September 22nd (Sunday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

After he had left me for her, I found out that our neighbors often saw him sneak her into OUR house, late at night. THIS WAS WHILE I WAS SOUND ASLEEP IN MY ROOM!

These were new neighbors at the time...I didn't really get to know them until long after my husband had left me.


Posts: 508 | Registered: Jun 2002 | From: Missouri
solus sto
♀ Member
Member # 30989
Default  Posted: 8:50 AM, September 22nd (Sunday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Wow. This is a tough question. I am married to (but separated from) a man I've known since ...well, practically childhood.

I think the very lowest thing he did was marry me---"because you loved me, and I didn't know if anyone else would."

That seems relatively innocuous, until you think about it. He asked me to marry him--knowing I was just an option, but never telling me.

From Day One, he was on the hunt--to SEE if "someone else would."

He did a lot of disgusting things. But it really all comes back to this.


BS-me, 52
WH (Trac-fone), 52, PD
2 kids-DD25, DS18
multiple d-days
DIVORCING
Alone, most strangely, I live on~Rupert Brooke

Posts: 8300 | Registered: Jan 2011 | From: midwest
fourever
♀ Member
Member # 30631
Default  Posted: 9:54 AM, September 22nd (Sunday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

He let me and the kids drop him off at the train for his "out of town" meeting the next morning.
Many times.

[This message edited by fourever at 3:15 PM, September 22nd (Sunday)]


In R since shortly after DD.
Discovered what was right in front of him and nearly lost.

Always, tell the other BS! Always!

"It's hard to be in love when you can't tell lies"!


Posts: 873 | Registered: Jan 2011 | From: Northeast
Topic Posts: 71
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