Cheating Hurt by Infidelity
Betrayal Wayward Donations lying
Welcome

Forums

Guidelines

Find a Local Counselor

The Healing Library

Media

Contact Us
lies
cover
In Association with Amazon.com
Support
Infidelity -
-
like us on facebook
You are not logged in. Login here or register.
[Register]
Newest Member: EverythingAfter (44970)

Off Topic Post Reply     Print Topic    
User Topic: this is sticky...
rachelc
♀ Member
Member # 30314
Default  Posted: 9:49 AM, September 20th (Friday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

so my boss had to identify three people he wanted on a team. I am already the 4th member of the team because of my job description. However, he wanted my input on the team. People get paid extra for this.

I am in no position to decide if my peers should get extra pay. This just seems wrong to me. And when I talked to him yesterday he had these people already picked out. So, 5 other people didn't get on the team.

But, he sends out an email saying that he, the other boss and I picked the team and here's who we chose. Damn. Now I feel I should go to the people not chosen - or heck even the ppl chosen - and say I really didn't have anything to do with this. It's really important for me to maintain a relationship with all my fellow co-workers.

Or do I just let it go?


his Dday: 2/10
my Ddays: 1/12, 4/12 broken NC 12/12

me (WW/BS): 48
him: (BS/WH)52
4 kiddos in mid 20's

Me: I didn't sign up for this.
Him: you're already in this. All you can do is resign...


Posts: 4939 | Registered: Dec 2010
Lucky2HaveMe
♀ Member
Member # 13333
Default  Posted: 10:04 AM, September 20th (Friday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I think I might let it go unless someone says something. But I'm conflict avoidant so that may be just me.


Indian wisdom says our lives are rivers. We are born somewhere small and quiet and we move toward a place we cannot see, but only imagine. From Tending Roses

Posts: 6405 | Registered: Jan 2007 | From: WNY
tushnurse
♀ Member
Member # 21101
Default  Posted: 10:07 AM, September 20th (Friday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Dont kick that sleeping dog.


Me: FBS
Him: FWS
Kids: 15 & 17
Married for 22 years now, was 16 at the time. .
D-Day Sept 26 2008
Fully R'd, and Happy Happy Happy

Posts: 8523 | Registered: Oct 2008 | From: St. Louis
Lucky2HaveMe
♀ Member
Member # 13333
Default  Posted: 10:29 AM, September 20th (Friday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

And ya know, oftentimes those that defend themselves the loudest are perceived as guilty. Something to think about.


Indian wisdom says our lives are rivers. We are born somewhere small and quiet and we move toward a place we cannot see, but only imagine. From Tending Roses

Posts: 6405 | Registered: Jan 2007 | From: WNY
Sad in AZ
♀ Member
Member # 24239
Default  Posted: 12:11 PM, September 20th (Friday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Don't go to the people you work with, but I would approach my boss about being open and above board in the messages he sends out. If you had nothing to do with it, he should not have said so. This is just weird.


I solemnly swear that I am up to no good.

Posts: 20178 | Registered: Jun 2009 | From: Upstate NY
aesir
♂ Member
Member # 17210
Default  Posted: 3:28 PM, September 20th (Friday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

You can't say anything IMNSHO. You just have to trust that everyone will figure out that your input was at best limited, not the deciding factor.

To go and talk to everyone involved will just be seen as office gossip at best, and perhaps disloyalty (or not being a team player) at worst. It will also harm your credibility with management if you have any aspirations of moving up in your career. It is not uncommon for managers to make a decision on their own, and then describe it as consensus afterwards. There are some valid reasons and some invalid reasons for doing this. I don't know what your bosses reasons were, but they were his reasons, and that's where the authority is.


Your mileage may vary... in accordance with the prophecy.

Do not back up. Severe tire damage.


Posts: 14924 | Registered: Nov 2007 | From: Winnipeg
jrc1963
♀ Member
Member # 26531
Default  Posted: 9:20 PM, September 20th (Friday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I would just let it go...

This is a work situation. And in work, as in life, you win some and you lose some. (sorry for the cliche) but people need to be mature enough to handle their own disappointment.

I'm a firm believer in workplace boundaries anyway. These people are co-workers, not buddies. If they get spiteful or hold a grudge over a perceived slight, then that's their problem, not yours.

But that's just my opinion.


Me: BSO - 46
Him: FWSO - 69
DS - 13
D-Day - 12-11-09,
R - he finally came home
Your life is an Occasion. Rise to it. - Mr. Magorium, "Mr. Magorium's Wonder Emporium"

Posts: 24514 | Registered: Dec 2009 | From: Florida
Topic Posts: 7

Return to Forum: Off Topic Post Reply to this Topic
adultry
Go to :
madness  
© 2002 - 2014 SurvivingInfidelity.com. All Rights Reserved.