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User Topic: Hug 'em if you got 'em
Jrazz
♀ Guide
Member # 31349
Default  Posted: 1:24 PM, September 20th (Friday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

We've had a tricky last week or so.

Nothing Earth shattering - just life stuff. Asthma, bumps and bruises, money stuff etc.

For many reasons we've been missing Crazz's mother a bit more right now... she passed away in 2009. Something about the air cooling and the leaves changing colors just makes us think about the impending holidays and how that was always her season to shine, I suppose.

My mother is a great mom in a lot of ways, but not particularly warm. She ALWAYS put us first, and she spent a lot of time on us, but her FOO issues sometimes prevented her from having a softness, or empathy if you will, that I always seemed to crave from our relationship.

As I became an adult we found a way to meet each other emotionally and listen to each other. It takes work but it's heartening every time one of us asks to be understood and the other stops and listens. Even with that in place, I've never really "ran" to her for hugs or solace.

She and her husband have been touring England and France over the last couple weeks, and she's been emailing with these epic journal entries of their travel - really cool.

Somewhere along the lines last week I started to feel homesick for her, and really miss her. They always shut off their phones and just communicate via email when they travel, and I am grateful for that for sure.

I guess I just started thinking about how much I would miss her if she was gone-gone, and how lucky I am to still have her even though we don't see eye-to-eye on some critical things regarding people and relationships.

Well, they are sitting at a restaurant on the Champs d'Elysee right this very moment, and her husband used his phone to make a work call and she asked if she could call me. I can't tell you how my heart felt to see the number. It was silly. I tried being composed as we said hello but then I just burst into tears and had to spend the next couple minutes convincing her that we were all fine. I was just missing her. I asked her why she called now, and she said that her heart just told her to.


We get frustrated with our family. We wish things were different, or better sometimes, but I think that as long as there's love we should just remember to be grateful for every moment we have, because you never know when your time is up.

Ugh - my poor mom. That's what she get's for checking in with Basketcase McGee!

[This message edited by Jrazz at 3:45 PM, September 20th (Friday)]


Cherish those who seek the truth but beware of those who find it. - François-Marie Arouet

Posts: 17860 | Registered: Feb 2011 | From: California
GabyBaby
♀ Member
Member # 26928
Default  Posted: 1:27 PM, September 20th (Friday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

We get frustrated with our family. We wish things were different, or better sometimes, but I think that as long as there's love we should just remember to be grateful for every moment we have, because you never know when your time is up.

Amen to that.
I hope things lighten up on you/family.

((( Jrazz )))


Me - 42
SorryInSac (WH#2) - 47. DDay 7/12/14
Married 4, together 7yrs total
Status - Stick a fork in me...

DD(21), DS(18, PDD-NOS)
6 Furkids - 4 dogs, 2 cats

WXH (serial cheater, 12+ OW) - Legally married 18yrs

I edit often for clarity.


Posts: 6541 | Registered: Dec 2009 | From: California
MovingUpward
♂ Guide
Member # 14866
Default  Posted: 1:27 PM, September 20th (Friday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

(((Jrazz and mama razz and the whole razz family)))


AKA Moo

Think of the haters in your life as sandpaper; they’ll scratch you up time and time again but in the end you’re polished, smooth, and spotless..while they end up useless

We make a living by what we get, but we make a life by what we give.


Posts: 52682 | Registered: Jun 2007 | From: Big Blue Nation
jo2love
♀ Moderator
Member # 31528
Default  Posted: 1:29 PM, September 20th (Friday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

(((Jrazz & family)))

Posts: 35933 | Registered: Mar 2011
nowiknow23
♀ Guide
Member # 33226
Default  Posted: 1:29 PM, September 20th (Friday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

((((((Razz))))))


You can call me NIK

"If you carry joy in your heart, you can heal any moment."
- Carlos Santana


Posts: 25776 | Registered: Aug 2011
Rebreather
♀ Member
Member # 30817
Default  Posted: 1:43 PM, September 20th (Friday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

You made me cry a little. And not just out of jealousy they are sitting on one of the best streets in the world. lol

I struggle with my relationship with my mom. I know she loves me to distraction, but she doesn't "get" me. So it's hard to be me and not have conflict.

I am glad she called you. Weird when things work like that, huh?


Me BS
Him WH
2 ddays in '07
Recovering.
"The cure for the pain, is the pain." -Rumi

Posts: 6549 | Registered: Jan 2011
truthsetmefree
♀ Member
Member # 7168
Default  Posted: 2:05 PM, September 20th (Friday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

((((B.McGee))))

Really great post.

It's so easy to forget what really matters. Or just how short life really is. But isn't it funny how realizing it just fills us with such love? How that alone just immediately changes our perspective?

[This message edited by truthsetmefree at 2:05 PM, September 20th (Friday)]


Posts: 7682 | Registered: May 2005
fraeuken
♀ Member
Member # 30742
Default  Posted: 2:08 PM, September 20th (Friday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Nice post. There is a connection with family that often shows in moments like this.


Temporarily independent with the whole world at my feet.

Posts: 1260 | Registered: Jan 2011 | From: California
ajsmom
♀ Member
Member # 17460
Default  Posted: 2:15 PM, September 20th (Friday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Yep. Couldn't agree more.

Both my parents are gone and there are no words for how much I miss them.


AJ's MOM


Fidelity isn't a feeling...it's a choice.

"Truth has no special time of its own. Its hour is now - always." - Albert Schweitzer
____________________________________________
Me: BW - Him: 200+ # tumor removed 7/09
DS - 31 - Yikes!


Posts: 21072 | Registered: Dec 2007 | From: Been Through Hell...On My Way Back
Jrazz
♀ Guide
Member # 31349
Default  Posted: 2:24 PM, September 20th (Friday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

It makes me want to give Crazz and extra big hug because I know he feels the loss so often and doesn't let on.

Hugs to everybody today.


Cherish those who seek the truth but beware of those who find it. - François-Marie Arouet

Posts: 17860 | Registered: Feb 2011 | From: California
Deeply Scared
♀ Administrator
Member # 2
Default  Posted: 2:28 PM, September 20th (Friday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

(((Jrazz)))

Go easy honey...one day at a time


"Don't give up, the beginning is always the hardest." My Mom:)

My tolerance for stupid shit is getting less and less.


Posts: 198331 | Registered: May 2002
LosferWords
♂ Guide
Member # 30369
Default  Posted: 2:29 PM, September 20th (Friday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

(((Razz Family)))

I can definitely relate. We miss my mother-in-law, who passed away in 2008. Give Crazz a bro hug for me.


Posts: 7562 | Registered: Dec 2010
click4it
♀ Member
Member # 209
Default  Posted: 3:44 PM, September 20th (Friday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

((((((Jrazz))))))))))

Seeing her number on your phone...feeling your heart flutter...not silly AT all. Glad you got to talk with your mom today. It was meant to be at the moment. Everything you say about family is absolutely true.

Your post brought me to tears.


Me: 42
Two boys: 17 and 14
Divorced 12-13-05
d-day 10-02-01

Laughter will cure life's ills. Have you had your laugh today?


Posts: 25628 | Registered: Jun 2002 | From: California
metamorphisis
♀ Administrator
Member # 12041
Default  Posted: 4:42 PM, September 20th (Friday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Such an important message. Really.
Jrazz, when I grew into adulthood and got the heck over myself I stopped wishing for the giant sentimental Hallmark cards that other girls got from their moms and SAW her and.. well she's freaking amazing and I want her here always. My dad too. I love them so very much.
This September my last sibling moved out. My parents are doing ok and traveling and seem happy but I ache for them and take my kids over to fill up the house with noise. When they call to invite me over for dinner on a weeknight (which never ever happened before..they've always been so busy with 6 kids and careers and education and this board, and that volunteer thing).. well I worry about them.
Ugh.. I'm rambling. But I do appreciate them.
Thank you for the reminder.

[This message edited by SI Staff at 4:43 PM, September 20th (Friday)]



“We don't see things as they are; we see them as we are.”... Anais Nin

Posts: 44988 | Registered: Sep 2006
Jpapageorge
♂ Member
Member # 31800
Default  Posted: 6:30 PM, September 20th (Friday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

We get frustrated with our family. We wish things were different, or better sometimes, but I think that as long as there's love we should just remember to be grateful for every moment we have, because you never know when your time is up.

(I still have my Dad's home and cell numbers in my contacts list...)


"Either get busy livin' or get busy dyin'." (and I prefer to live)
"Shame on me for kissing you with my eyes closed."
Spectemur agendo.
Me: FBBF

Posts: 1751 | Registered: Apr 2011 | From: California
persevere
♀ Member
Member # 31468
Default  Posted: 9:00 PM, September 20th (Friday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Awww Jrazz (((Hugs))) that is awesome.

I have a lot of issues with my mom but we've been in a better place recently. This post reminds me why the effort is important. Thank you. <3


Me: BW-44
Him: XWH-44
Together 9 yrs
DDays: 1/10/2011
Status: Divorced 4/27/11

Above all, be the heroine, not the victim. - Nora Ephron

It is our choices...that show what we truly are, far more than our abilities.
- J. K. Rowling


Posts: 4614 | Registered: Mar 2011 | From: Texas
simplydevastated
♀ Member
Member # 25001
Default  Posted: 10:36 PM, September 20th (Friday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

(((Hugs)))


This is so true. I'm so grateful to have my mother. Even with everything she's dealing with she still makes time to listen to vent. She may not have the words to help, and she's said that to me, but her listening is the best thing in the world to me.

PS. I still have my Aunt's email address in my contacts list. I won't delete it either.


Me - BS, 39 (I'm not old...I'm vintage)
Two Wonderful children - DS10, DD7
Married, for now... (4+ D-Day - listed in profile.)

Posts: 5854 | Registered: Jul 2009 | From: In the darkest depths of hell!
Jrazz
♀ Guide
Member # 31349
Default  Posted: 11:46 PM, September 20th (Friday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Thanks everyone.


Cherish those who seek the truth but beware of those who find it. - François-Marie Arouet

Posts: 17860 | Registered: Feb 2011 | From: California
wildbananas
♀ Member
Member # 10552
Default  Posted: 12:01 AM, September 21st (Saturday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

As someone who had an uninvolved mother and who now has a mother with dementia... yes, hug 'em if you got 'em.


Travel light, live light, spread the light, be the light. ~ Yogi Bhajan

Posts: 15415 | Registered: Apr 2006 | From: Now an AZ girl
Topic Posts: 19

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