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Divorce/Separation Post Reply     Print Topic    
User Topic: Tidbits of info
Pass
♂ Member
Member # 38122
Default  Posted: 10:08 PM, September 20th (Friday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Got the kids back tonight. It always makes me happy, but lately I've been finding the little easter eggs of information that The Princess likes to send with them. The boys end up mentioning them in conversation (because they tell me everything!), and I am slowly learning to deal with them.

Here's what came with them this time:

1. She has told them that she is dating Mr. Zero, who they remember used to be our neighbour.

2. When she took her iPad in to be fixed at the Apple Store, it HAPPENED to open on a page of items she wanted to buy from Victoria's Secret, (just in case it wasn't clear to EVERYONE that she is banging Mr. Zero) and isn't that the funniest thing ever?

I have treated both of these as items of non-interest, and didn't ask for more details, as I have in the past. Hopefully this will discourage them from telling me. There is no way anything will discourage her from trying to pass it on.

When I first decided to move out, she told me that her counsellor said we shouldn't date other people for TWO YEARS so that we have time to mourn the relationship, and that we shouldn't introduce anyone to the kids unless we've been seeing them for a year - to make sure it's serious.

I would really like to call her on this, and tell her that I think it was just another attempt at controlling me, but I know exactly what y'all are going to say: Fuck her.

And no matter what I say, I'll never hear the truth, so fuck her.

... but of course it still bugs me!


Loyal spouse: Me; Disloyal spouse: The Princess
Two sons: Now 11 and 14
DDay: Nov 15, 2012
Separated: Mar 2, 2013 after married 17 years, now divorcing!

The best thing about hitting rock bottom is that everything after that looks fucking fabulous


Posts: 1655 | Registered: Jan 2013 | From: Ottawa, Ontario, Canada
SBB
♀ Member
Member # 35229
Default  Posted: 11:54 PM, September 20th (Friday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I've been down this road. The sad clown went on an ego kibble bender from telling me he was introducing my then 2 and almost 5 year olds to OWUmpteen a mere 20 weeks after S.

I did what you are contemplating doing and all it got me was an Ego Kibble Crack Whore. It took a good few months of strict NC to wean the fucker off.

The way I see it it is not appropriate to right fight with an X. I couldn't help him be a decent father during the M what the hell chance do I have now?

Ignore it all. Whenever the girls bring home little tidbits of info I say "oh, that's nice" or "oh no" and then change the subject. I'm interested in how they feel and what they are doing - NOT what is going on in Fuckwitsville.

I cannot believe the inappropriate shit she talks to your boys about. I hope you're keeping their IC in the loop as this just makes me feel weird.

Imagine your mum telling you she is buying lingerie? Telling a daughter is kind of weird - telling a young son just makes it weirder. I'm not a prude by any stretch of the imagination but... yuck.

She is either just living her fucked up life or she is telling them to goad you.

Doesn't matter which it is - crickets to all of it. The hope is if you don't feed the beast they will eventually move along.

I suspect this is just how she interacts with males - even young ones, even her sons. Ewww.

Keep reminding yourself that this stuff is "WTF-ever". Fake it until you make it. Soon you'll realise you're no longer faking it.


Buzz- The word you are searching for is 'Space-Ranger.'
Woody- The word I'm searching for, I can't say, because there are Pre-school toys here.

Posts: 5382 | Registered: Apr 2012 | From: Australia
Nature_Girl
♀ Member
Member # 32554
Default  Posted: 1:31 AM, September 21st (Saturday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Oh EW! The VS thing is utterly inappropriate. Please tell your attorney and the children's counselor. This is exactly the kind of shit you need to document with them.

Good job, though, on keeping your cool. I might not have been so successful.


Me = BS (Stay-at-home-mom)
Him = EX-d out (abusive troglodyte NPD SA)
3 tween-aged kids
Together 20 years
D-Day: Memorial Weekend 2011
2013 - I DIVORCED HIM, I'M FREE!
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=RBOJpIwF47Y

Posts: 9231 | Registered: Jun 2011 | From: USA
nowiknow23
♀ Guide
Member # 33226
Default  Posted: 9:05 AM, September 22nd (Sunday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

((((pass & boys))))


You can call me NIK

Wise men talk because they have something to say; fools, because they have to say something.
- Plato


Posts: 24350 | Registered: Aug 2011
laney57
♀ Member
Member # 35617
Default  Posted: 12:43 PM, September 22nd (Sunday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

EW Pass!
Hugs to you and you kiddos.
Best thing you can do (and are doing) is just listen and no reaction. I'm in aw at your composure.
I have not experienced this with my kids, but I remember oh so well being 6 or 7 and my Father shushing me about talking about my mom and stepfather. Totally different situation, but as an adult ... I still remember the shame that I felt as a kid (crazy I know). The tension was awful, and I never wanted to go to my dads house. You are a great father!


Me - BS, 43
Him - WH, 45
Married - 22 years
D-Day - 05/12/2012
Trying to find me.
Gotta do this, but I'm broken - headed for divorce - 02/20
Hell if I know - 02/24
INS 07/2013 Divorcing

Posts: 226 | Registered: May 2012 | From: KY
Topic Posts: 5

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