I know they are very hurt and angry by my actions and accept this. My MIL is especially angry and has pressured my BH into divorcing me....he finally got so sick of her forcing her opinions on him he stopped talking about it to her. My FIL is also upset but has been supportive of my BH.
My BH also has an older sister who has been very supportive of him and his decisions. She and I have always gotten along well, and right after D Day she actually sent ME a text asking how I was doing, which I think says a lot about her character.
Last week I finally confronted them all. I spoke to my SIL first (she is less intimidating) and then went to speak to his parents. It went better than I thought it would go....his father told me he respects the fact that I went and spoke to them and was glad I did it.
I know they aren't going to forgive me overnight and it's going to take time. But my concern is that (mainly my MIL) still doesn't accept that my BH and I are together and trying to R. She keeps doing things that make me feel like she is trying to make a point that she doesn't like me or want me in the family. I understand why she doesn't like me, but still want to realize that I am still with her son and am not planning on going anywhere. My biggest concern is for our DD, who is only four and doesn't understand what is going on....but eventually she is going to start to think it's strange that only she and daddy go to Grammy and Pepes house for dinner, and Mommy never goes..that or my BH and our DD will go off with them for the day and I am never invited.
I tried to bring this up with my BH but he thinks I am being crazy.
I am just wondering what experiences other BS have had with their in-laws and if you have been in a similar position, how did you deal with it?
I didn't want exactly what you are describing. Me going to my parent's homes with my kids and leaving their Dad behind.
They will adjust or they won't. Understandable why they are so upset/angry with you but they should respect the fact that you are trying to rebuild a marriage. They can help that process or hurt it by not participating.
It was not always easy to stand my ground with my parents on this issue. Afterall they were the ones picking up the pieces after H walked out. I told them most of the dirty details too, they knew it all.
My H was the one that let him know how our kids felt. Hlessons has always stood up for me with his parents. Sometimes this is not a battle you can fight. Let her figure it out on her own as long as nothing is said in front of your DD.
At first it was a little awkward. His birth dad was a bit standoffish. His birth Mom was ok.
The first time I saw his adoptive Dad, chicho was at work and I was really nervous, but it went fine.
Chicho spoke to his parents and told them it was our decision to R, and to please respect that. That we needed their support, not judgement.
Ever since then things have been great.
In fact last year out of all their kids and their partners (9 people), I was the only one who got a birthday present!
"Your secrets keep you sick"
Good luck, I know it's hard.
Me: fBH 46
Her: exWW 42
DDay: Nov 1, 2012
Divorced: September 17, 2013
Married 2.5 years
Reconciled and remarried.
Do you have children? If so how do you deal with that?
If I had children, of course my XH's family would be as much a part of their lives as they wanted to be. I hope for that to be the case someday when we do have them.