Topic: WH might be at it again
♀ New Member
Member # 40742
| Posted: 11:06 PM, September 21st (Saturday), 2013|
I'm sad to be posting here tonight, but I would like some feedback on a disturbing item I found tonight while cleaning.
I got my big long duster out to clean some vents up high and decided to clean off the top of the master bathroom cabinet. I do this probably once a year.
Surprise, surprise. I find hemorrhoid cream. That wasn't the big surprise
I found some Jo for Men, sexual attractant deodorant. It has pheromones in it. He hid it up top knowing I'd neeeever see it. I highly doubt that it's to turn me on as the things that I've come out and said turn me on, then buy him (cologne, aftershave) he NEVER wears.
Will confront him tomorrow, but expect denials.
In 2009 we had a short separation after I found out he was soliciting prostitutes on Craigslist. Nothing happened though. He was just curious.
I must be a fool.
Any advice? Men in the group what do you think?
And the thought of leaving his lying, probably cheating ass is not really an option as we have 3 kids 5 and under.
Posts: 1 | Registered: Sep 2013
Member # 37575
| Posted: 12:07 AM, September 22nd (Sunday), 2013|
What a strange surprise indeed, on top of the cabinet? You must have some serious self control to be able to wait to ask him!
Do you have other concerns? Are there other signs or feelings you have? It seems odd doesn't it? I hope you will get an answer that you trust and accept.
I have recently discovered a "surprise" myself and the support I found on SI was extremely helpful. I hope you have the same experience.
Please take care of yourself and your precious little ones! I wish you the best!
Me: BW-54. Him-FWH 54. DDay June 1st 2012, Cheated with prostitutes overseas, married 26 years, trying to R
"Not everything that counts is counted. Not everything that is counted counts." Albert Einstein
Posts: 353 | Registered: Nov 2012 | From: Out West
Member # 40474
| Posted: 12:30 AM, September 22nd (Sunday), 2013|
My first thought was for you to see if the deodorant has an expiration date. That might indicate how old it is, or how long it's been up there. Even if you get up to the top of that cabinet once a year, it could be that your duster missed it.
Seems like once someone lies to us, there words are always suspect for a reason. Unfortunately, you probably do have reason to be quite suspicious. I'm sorry for that.
Me: early 60s
Him: 64 yrs old, LTA w/a pro$titute
Married since 1980, no children
DDay: Feb. 25, 2013
Trickle Truth Days: Sept 10, 11, 13, 15 (2013)
His affair--says it was only 8 times 1x/mo, then found out it was 7 YEARS 2-3x/mo
Posts: 206 | Registered: Aug 2013 | From: out west/west coast U.S.A.
Member # 33867
| Posted: 2:02 AM, September 22nd (Sunday), 2013|
I was going to ask how dusty was it? Not sure if deodorant has an expiration date.
I have never heard of that product but I would be extremely suspicious to find it stashed away like that. I am afraid he might say it has been there since 2009.
This certainly gives you reason to watch him carefully.
[This message edited by RidingHealingRd at 4:42 AM, September 22nd (Sunday)]
ME: 53 BS
HIM: 60 WH
Married: 28 years
in R 3 years and it's working but he is putting 200% into it (as he should) to make it right again.
The truth hurts, but I have never seen it cause the pain that lies do.
Posts: 1771 | Registered: Nov 2011
Member # 36307
| Posted: 2:31 AM, September 22nd (Sunday), 2013|
And I thought finding lubricant in the glovebox of his car was horrendous.
What are they thinking?
BS: Me (63yo)
FWH: HIM (65yo) serial infidelities over past 35 years
OW: Many, most recent 1/2 his age
DD: Multiple unconfirmed until 2012 when I presented evidence, plus LTA with his friends wife lasting 10 years. TT over past year
Posts: 440 | Registered: Jul 2012
Member # 23987
| Posted: 4:23 AM, September 22nd (Sunday), 2013|
I know what I'd do but it's probably wrong. Get some Liquid Ass and put a bunch in the deodorant and put it back on the cabinet. He will either notice the room smells like total shit or you bring it up. His nose will track to the deodorant with you right there. What's he gonna do with this pickle? Once that's sorted out, secretly put some in his regular deodorant for good measure. He puts your ass in a sling, sling his ass right back.
Posts: 814 | Registered: May 2009
Member # 17484
| Posted: 8:23 AM, September 22nd (Sunday), 2013|
Is there any way you could hold off on the confrontation?
It would be nice to avoid the sickening ride on the denial-go-round.
Instead, place the thing back where it was with a 'marker', so you can tell if it's been moved recently.
Also, if you hold back, it will also allow you to implement other watching strategies such as tracking computer, phone, and car use.
I just think it's better to go into sleuth mode, given his past trolling behaviors.
Search "how to tell children" for ideas
Posts: 5384 | Registered: Dec 2007 | From: texas
Member # 34827
| Posted: 9:53 AM, September 22nd (Sunday), 2013|
Although seriouslylostit made a funny suggestion (I like that) I think jjct has a good idea. Put it back and see if it moves later. I've never heard of this product..hmmm. what will they think of next
Been with him over half my life
DD1 10-01-09 DD2 02-22-12 discovered it never ended
OW..divorced slut who prefers committed men, specializing in befriending and bopping the fathers of her kids team mates
Posts: 3035 | Registered: Feb 2012 | From: midwest
|Topic Posts: 8|