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User Topic: What real life would have looked like
Lovedyoumore
♀ Member
Member # 35593
Default  Posted: 2:21 PM, September 24th (Tuesday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage


I have often wondered if the A had moved forward long enough for them to have to put the "dream" aside and deal with real life together, would it have been a disaster? Would a crisis blow it all up and would they have to show their real selves? What would it take? After DDay the OW went from a strong, assertive woman to a sniveling little girl who had her favorite boy toy taken away. She cried, sent sad passive aggressive emails, left little gifts at his office door, etc.

Several years ago my H and I took a cruise on a small ship. There were just 100 passengers on a huge yacht type ship going from remote island to island in the Caribbean. Most of us traveled from Miami on the same flight down. Immediately there was a couple that stood out like newly weds, yet no new shiny rings. He was 50ish and she was 20ish and the creep factor made us all suspect affair. He was dressed in a business suit and tie while she had on a very tight, short, low cut red silk dress. After going on ship we saw the man, red faced mad because none of their bags made it on board and they had no carry ons. The ship had a very limited shop with just essentials and the remote ports were just beaches. We saw them every morning, noon, and night in those same clothes. After a few days that red dress was ruined, spotted, wrinkled and stained. He looked as bad. Her face looked like crap and her hair got frizzier as the week went on. We joked about them not even having carry on bags because their hands were just to busy to be bothered while traveling. Looking back, she had no make up, no hair care products, probably no pills, condoms, or anything else to make that trip work. As the week went on it was obvious that paradise was starting to smell, stink, maybe reek. By mid week things appeared strained and by the last day they would not even look at each other. Once back in Miami they found the airlines had their bags and by then they were not speaking. I wondered why he did not buy them a few things, but it was an all inclusive cruise and I am sure he had limited cash. He could not risk using his credit cards in the Caribbean because an international charge would stick out. I have often wondered if he got away with it and if the cruise ended it all.

I know my H and OW well enough that it would just been a matter of time because deep down they are oil and water. They both have FOO issues that would have broken all hell loose with just a little push of a crisis.

Do you ever wish the WS and the AP would have had to deal with real life instead of rainbows and you could be a fly on the wall to see it all go down?


Me 52
WH 52
Married 30+ years
Together trying to R

I tell people I am tired but really my heart is broken and I am sad.


Posts: 1457 | Registered: May 2012 | From: Southern, bless your heart
ladies_first
♀ Member
Member # 24643
Default  Posted: 2:33 PM, September 24th (Tuesday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

As the week went on it was obvious that paradise was starting to smell, stink, maybe reek. By mid week things appeared strained and by the last day they would not even look at each other. ... I have often wondered if he got away with it and if the cruise ended it all.

That's the thing about being on the outside looking in.

It would be a different post about pain if you were the BW and your 50-ish WH had just returned from a cruise with the OW.


"We must be willing to let go of the life we planned so as to have the life that is waiting for us." ~J. Campbell
"In the final analysis, it is your own attitude that will make or break you, not what has happened to you." ~D. Galloway

Posts: 2143 | Registered: Jun 2009
cancuncrushed
♀ Member
Member # 28156
Default  Posted: 2:39 PM, September 24th (Tuesday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I was pondering the details just this morning. I will spare you the list. I realized trait for trait, they would not have lasted. The only thing they had in common was neediness, and where they worked. It was a train wreck. H almost lost everything. ANd it would have been for naught. I thought my inlaws hated me. That would have been priceless to see. They call it the fog. It looks really stupid to me. Where is their common sense? I have seen couples on vacation same as your example. Its disgusting. I am hating middle age.


a trigger yesterday

Posts: 891 | Registered: Apr 2010 | From: athome
Lovedyoumore
♀ Member
Member # 35593
Default  Posted: 2:41 PM, September 24th (Tuesday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Absolutely. I just wish my now 50ish H would have remembered how sad and pathetic we thought that couple was at the time 20 years ago. I am sure people saw him out with OW and thought the same thought about him. It did not keep him from taking a little trip with the hag during his A because, you know, they were special perfect beings.


Me 52
WH 52
Married 30+ years
Together trying to R

I tell people I am tired but really my heart is broken and I am sad.


Posts: 1457 | Registered: May 2012 | From: Southern, bless your heart
SisterMilkshake
♀ Member
Member # 30024
Default  Posted: 3:00 PM, September 24th (Tuesday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

During my FWH's LTA it was mostly quick meet ups in parks for quickie sex or a few hours in a hotel. They didn't date, didn't do things together as a "couple".

Except for one time. He was going on a 3 day snowmobile trip with his BF. He asked BF if he could take OW along. BF said yes, , and OW brought a friend along for BF.

FWH realized after these 2 nights and 3 days with this OW that he never, ever wanted to spend that amount of time with it ever again. OW lied about its level of snowmobiling (it had no skills). They were riding for 8 hours a day on some pretty rugged trails. A lying OW, how surprising! Also, OW was annoying and its stupidity really stood out to my FWH this weekend.

That being said, he still continued to fuck this POS slunty cumdumpster for at least another year, but never spent more than a couple of hours with it.


BW (me) 50ish FWH 50ish
Married 34 years, 3 children
d-day 3/10 LTA (4 yrs./fucking & flirting)

"Oh, why do my actions have consequences?" ~ Homer Simpson
"She knew my one weakness: That I'm weak!" ~ Homer Simpson


Posts: 9543 | Registered: Nov 2010 | From: The Great White North USA
Topic Posts: 5

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